Tuesday, 11 March 2014 @ 10:31 am
My bucket list
Everyone has dream places to go to, things they wish they can do, people they wish to marry (John Mayer) for example. hahahaha.
Of course, I have too.
These are a collection of all my-wants; although some maybe unrealistic but never say never, my friend :)
In no particular order:
1) To be surrounded by the amazing, beautiful northern lights (aurora borealis).
This pic was taken by a fish and chips owner in Scotland. I might have a chance if I am able to catch it at the right time since I will be studying in the UK in September. Although most northern lights sightings are in Iceland, Northern Canada and Alaska, but the above pic in Scotland is amazing enough.
There's like small huts with transparent roofs so that you can lay down and being surrounded by the beautiful lights in Finland. I am going to try to make sure we schedule our travel and include northern light sightings.
Duduk kat Malaysia memang tak dapat lah. Oh, been dreaming of being under this amazing sky. So, so beautiful, Masyaallah :)
2) To buy an awesome vinyl player.
Having music as a big part of my life, having a vinyl player would be just awesome. Yeah, I know its the era of free downloads and stuff but nothing beats buying an original album and see the hardwork and appriciate it physically. And again, being in the UK later, will give me the chance to collect vintage and cool music records, especially from second hand record shops. oh oh oh, cant bloody wait.
Like this one. So cool :)
3) To adopt a child.
Okay, this is serious stuff. I have always wanted to adopt a child. People always think its just for those couples who cant have kids but it just saddens me to know there is so many children out there without parents or people to love them. I wish I can help save just one child, I feel like I have done a good deed to last a lifetime. It sounds selfish, to do a good deed to make yourself feel better but everyone wants to play the superhero role, even if it is just a small part in the world. I have talked to my husband about this but I guess he is sceptical about it. Yeah, the religious part is the biggest part, to know what to do to ensure the child is muhrim or not. Nanti susah if bab agama tak ikut.
I wish I can.
4) Jumping off a plane
Para gliding was fun. But jumping off a plane would be just so awesome. I actually was about to buy this ticket to do skydiving and it costs around RM2K. I was about to click, but then Adyan came to mind.
And I didnt have the heart to do it.
If its just me, I probably wont think twice but the thought of Adyan losing me, brings me tears to my eyes. And the fact that maybe I have a lot more to live for.
Bungee jumping first perhaps? :)
Wednesday, 8 January 2014 @ 5:58 pm
Normal birth vs csec
The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine. She is heavily pregnant, almost due, and was afraid of giving birth. So she asked about my experience and my opinion on this matter.
Normal birth vs csec.
I had to go through an emergency csec because of the erratic heartbeat of the baby. I have been having slow, but steady contractions since 10 am to almost 11 pm. But my opening was only 2 cm. But the baby inside dah panick. So had to csec.
To be honest, I was relieved. I had nightmares about giving birth normally. The uncertainty factors; will I be able to push, will I do it right, how hurtfull its going to be, etc etc.
The csec was fast and efficient. 20 mins and I am done.
And still, it doesnt make me less of a mother.
I know, people always say normal birth is the way to go. But seriously, since we women do have the option; I would like to schedule my csec for my second baby. And maybe third, if we decide to have more than 2. Hahahaha
To me, giving birth normally scares the shit out of me. And if I have the option not to be scared shitless, I 'll take it thank you very much. Ada orang cakap, bersalin tu lah anugerah tuhan. Perempuan selagi boleh kena lah try bersalin normal, etc etc.
I am sorry. Kalau teknologi untuk bersunat pun dah berubah dari guna pisau biasa kepada teknik laser bagai supaya lebih selamat, bersih dan kurang menyakitkan, kenapa aku tak boleh pilih csec sebagai pilihan untuk bersalin?
Aik, macam emo pulak aku.
Pokok pangkalnya, aku dah mengandung 9 bulan, dan aku punya hak nak pilih csec walaupun doktor tak suruh dan walaupun sepatutnya aku boleh bersalin normal.
It is my body and it does not make me less of a mother if I chose differently.
Monday, 6 January 2014 @ 1:26 pm
So 2013 have come and gone.
Every year you learn something new; about other people, but mostly about yourself.
In 2013, the biggest lesson is not everyone regard friendship the same. You always thought your friends would know you best; but last year, I have learnt that wasn't the case.
Have you ever met someone that you have only just known but feels like you have known them all your life? I met that person and sometimes I wonder if this is what people meant by soulmate? Its not like we are the same; we say the same things, finish each other's sentence, we think the same things. It is so scary. And yet awesome at the same time :)
I have also learnt not to care much when people comment about the way you raise up your child. In earlier years, I was a bit sensitive and cautious; not knowing if everything you are doing is right. But now, I trust my gut and instinct. Every decision I make is the best for me, my child and our situation. Everyday I cook meals for Adyan; his breakfast and lunch and his snack for tea. I wish I could take care of him myself; I ENVY stay-at-home mums. Time is something that you can never take back. But every morning I would wake up at 6 am to make sure he gets the best nutrition from home. Sometimes I go over the top with his meals but, I want him to love food. Just like me.
I am so much stronger than I ever thought. I am the strongest when I'm angry. Habis satu rumah aku kemas! Anger channeled the right way. Hahahaha
Whats in 2014?
I was hoping to get pregnant again this year, but since I will continuing my studies, it wont be a good idea. Rezeki comes in many ways. Always belief God has better plans for you :)
Every year I would look back and try to look at my shortcomings and just be better than last year.
I hope to wear hijjab better this year.
Like every year, finish the Quran from start to finish.
Always be thankful to God for all that I have been blessed with.
Choose your friends carefully.
Always put work second, behind your family.
Take less selfies.
Just be a good person.
A better one.
Here is to another year of wishful hopes and to never give up on your dreams.
Thursday, 21 November 2013 @ 3:52 pm
I don't think I am a materialistic person.
In no way a person's material stuff is a reflection of a person's status; maybe taste and style but never rate a person's success with material stuff.
For all you know, those who buys expensive stuff or lavish stuff are in deep, deep debt.
For some, maybe they do have a lot of money that they can throw around aimlessly.
I find it really funny when someone who I know don't make much money but talks like they have high taste. Macam kesian. Mengundang untuk dikutuk.
Like, 'Oh, my heels? HAVE to be Monolo's'.
Walhal dia ada satu je, yang lain semua Vincci kut. Hahahaha.
When you put your happiness on things, there will never be enough things.
You would always want more.
If you know me, I would rather spend on my hard earned money with food. I truly enjoy food and loves, loves trying new dishes and restaurants.
I do indulge in lingerie, yes. Because I find them sexy. Haha. So simple put. But since I am a loyal customer of the sometimes slutty La Senza, I only buy them during their huge sales using my membership card, which have more discounts. So I don't feel like I am wasting my money for something I love.
I really wish I can do more of that.
But unfortunately the country that I want to travel are either too far away or too expensive.
I would rather spend my money on travelling than a designer handbag or expensive car.
But sometimes life just gets in the way; routine, family, work, responsibilities. And I so, so, sooooo hate the currency difference. Pppfffftttttt.
Whats the use of having money, work for money if its only to pay bills?
Life shouldn't be like that.
If you do more work than play, I'd say your life is pretty messed up.
Unless your work IS play; then I hate you!!!!
Foot note: Pekerjaan yg saya paling envy adalah travelling host. What the hell? Having holidays as a job??? Demmmmmm
Friday, 20 September 2013 @ 12:16 pm
You have no idea how surreal it is to be able to go out, well late into the night without having your child with you (unless, you're a parent too!!).
You feel like you deserve it but rasa guilty juga.
And alang-alang dah keluar tu, kena lah enjoy betul-betul sebab peluang tu sukar nak dapat.
Tapi mana boleh.
Akan terfikir jugak.
Anyway, yeah. Had a great time at the Good Vibes Festival.
Great group of bands and musicians.
Love the buzz of being in the midst of good music and that night the weather was just nice.
Cool and not humid.
I love the simple setting.
Need more food stalls though.
And drinks too but good variety of gourmet foods.
None of those sloppy, cheap burgers yang dijual pada harga yang tak masuk akal.
Nice, gourmet food.
Discovered Modest Mouse. Pretty good.
Had an awesome time.
But at the end of the night, already missing my Adyan.
That little bundle of joy.
Thursday, 19 September 2013 @ 12:21 pm
Or should I say, Didicted!!!
I am so obsessed with Olitz: Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant.
I have always been a drama fan; fast- paced drama like Damages. But I never thought I would be swept in with their love story, because let's admit it guys, I'm just not that into romance.
But this relationship; man. The chemistry, the script, the damn FINE acting. It's like I want them to get married in real life, like NOW!!!!
Both of them are strong and weak in their own ways. Although it is hard to imagine a president (to the USA pulak tu) to give up his desk to a 'mistress', we can all dream that love can move mountains, wrong as it is since he is a married man.
To me, Fitz is strong in knowing what he wants; Liv.
While Liv always feels guilty for wanting Fitz, and always trying to leave Fitz to be a better man but ends up back in his arms. She just can't say no to the man. And yet can't say yes.
So the ball has always been in her court. So really, it's Fitz who is always waiting her to make up her mind.
I love, love both actors; Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn.
Damn. Fine. Actors.
I'm gushing, right?
But I can actually cry just listening to the song The Light by The Album Leaf.
It's the soundtrack they put on for every Olitz moment.
Some of my favourite Olitz moments.
One minute : They have this tradition of taking a minute of silence, and pretend that they are just Liv and Fitz, not the married US President.
Damn you Fitz. You with your words.
Dammit Fitz. You bring out the romantic in me. I never thought I had it in me.
Guys, this is how you woo your women!!!
Can't bloody wait for season 3
Monday, 26 August 2013 @ 12:00 pm
I have a problem with our country.
Actually, I have many.
But we have to go easy here. Kang berapa hari aku tak habes taip :p
Our country sometimes dont have a firm stand on things.
Even on big things like policies.
We can never satisfy everyone. NEVER.
So, when we make decisions, we have to know why, and stand by to that decision. Anticipate for challenges; orang yang tak setuju. Because if you believe on the decisions that you make, then you wont have a problem standing up for it.
Scenario 1: Our education system.
When they implemented maths and science to be taught in English, it caused an uproar. Of course, ada yang tak setuju. But it went ahead, and costed a lot of money and time. To train the teachers; special allowances and mostly benefitted younger teachers. Kesian mama saya yang walaupun English beliau adalah boleh tahan power (she took her Masters in the UK), but she still struggled after teaching science and biology in Malay for 20+ years. And oleh kerana mengajar budak bandar, adalah challenging bila mereka merendah2kan kebolehan English para guru.
So, after a few years, (or maybe a term?), tukar balik bahasa Melayu. When semua pun dah senyap, tukar balik. What happened to all that investment? Sebab result SPM menurun kah? Sometimes you have to give it time. You cant expect results (whatever result they expected from that policy change) the morning after.
And then, I heard they are implementing English as subjek wajib, like BM, where if you dont get a credit, you fail your SPM.
I am not saying budak di luar bandar tak pandai English, but they dont have a fair start compare to budak bandar. The exposure, the NEED to talk English is just not there. Life does not end just because you are not fluent in English!!!! Pegawai KPM kata, to make sure the students understand the importance of English. We already KNOW that!!!
By punishing them? You should improve the way English are taught, not to ketatkan kelayakan lulus SPM.
What happen nanti bila beribu-ribu tak kredit English dan fail SPM? They will carry that result for the rest of their life. Untuk sambung belajar, untuk cari kerja.
I just dont get it.
Like I said, budak bandar has such an advantage at this.
And they have this idea also to make history/sejarah as subjek wajib @ perlu kredit untuk lulus SPM.
Untuk apa? Supaya pelajar2 lebih patriotik dan sayang kepada negara.
Siapa lah yang advise merka-meraka ni? :(
Macam bahan uji je diorang buat masa depan budak-budak sekolah ni.
Scenario 2: Censorship board.
Sebenarnya nak cerita pasal ni tapi tetiba teringat pasal polisi education yang jauh lebih penting dari ini.
Kadang2 lucu the kind of things diorang censor on media, dan apa yang tidak.
Contoh: censorship lagu. (Rasa macam dejavu dan pernah taip subjek ni. Never mind)
Lirik seperti 'damn', 'f*ck', 'shit' dan adik beradiknya di silent kan dari lagu kerana ianya adalah offensive dan perkataan tak baik.
Tapi bagaimana pula lagu yang berunsurkan seksual, atau mmg lagu tu cakap pasal seks sahaja tanpa menggunakan perkataan tak baik?
So, so, sooooo funny.
Isu terbaru: pasal wanita melayu Islam nak masuk pertandingan ratu cantik. Badan agama of kos tak bagi sebab aurat. Kan? Ke pasal benda lain. Ntah. So si pemohon tu pun dicaci kerana beriya-iya sangat nak masuk pertandingan ratu cantik walhal against agama.
Tapi, macam mana pulak lelaki melayu yang masuk pertandingan bina badan? Pakai seluar dalam kecik je kut. Lagi tak appropriate. And yang wakil Malaysia biasanya adalah Melayu, bukan bangsa lain pun. Takde sape nak haramkan kah? Sebab tak cukup mengiurkan atau membuatkan wanita hilang kawalan?
Bahahahahaha. Memang pun :p
Anyway, our country just have a funny way of picking and choosing where it suits them.
And thats why people (sometimes me) laugh at their lack of stand.
If they cant convince themselves, how the hell are they supposed to convince everyone else?