Didi

masterchef?really?could'vefooledme!

2011-11-09T18:22:00.002+08:00

What do u think of Masterchef Malaysia?

Being an avid Masterchef (US) fan, and an all-rounder cooking shows fanatic, like Top Chef, I never set a high standard when it was announced that Masterchef Malaysia will be aired.

It seems I shouldn't have bothered setting a standard at all :(

These are my comments:

1) We do such a crappy job when it comes to reality show. The hosts adalah amat kayu, seolah-olah seperti robot dan tidak menunjukkan passion dalam bidang masakan. Mengeluarkan ayat2 skema dan klise yang amat memualkan. Sangat tidak natural bila berkomunikasi. Even peserta2 jaaauuuuhhh lagi natural dari the hosts.

2) Please fokus on the cooking part. Asyik nak membebel/menasihat/bercakap/fokus kepada peserta sahaja. Luangkanlah masa part2 peserta masak ke, ni dalam 1 jam episod, rasanya 15 minit kut actually cakap pasal makanan. Yang lain BERBUAL!!!!

3) Kenapa episod dia potong2? Elimination episod lain, atau cook-off dengan chef sambung episod lain. Its because of #2: too much talking in between.

4) The challenges itself. Yes, saya sedar masakan kita lain dari westerners dan kita tak perlu pun impressed dgn western cuisines only. Tapi challenges yg diorang bagi adalah sgt tak mencabar kreativiti seseorang tukang masak. Contoh: Hidangan kenduri untuk 100 org kampung yg mesti ada nasi putih, 1 lauk daging, 1 lauk ayam, 2 sayur, 1 dessert + 1 air. Bahan2 yang ada hanya membenarkan diorang masak benda2 tipikal: ayam masak kurma/rendang/kicap/sambal. Normal things! Contoh: Hidangan untuk parti kanak yang mesti ada 1 main dish, 5 finger foods + dessert. Bahan2 adalah limited. Masing2 team buatlah pasta dan burger sempoi yg sgt menyedihkan. Again, bahan2 yang dibekalkan dan challenges amat tidak membenarkan diorang buat masakan yang kreatif. Only tipikal foods! Cuba buat challenges macam transform 1 kuih tradisional kegemaran masing2 kepada version yang modern dan high class, atau masak hidangan menggunakan nenas tapi kena buat full meal la, xleh la buat lauk jek sbb confirm akan ada yang buat masak lemak cili api tambah nenas!!

5) Food demo oleh seorang chef: lempeng kelapa dan kari ikan. Seriously??? Tersedak makcik2 kat kampung tu. Ajar lah something yang boleh buat orang kagum, tak pun ajar benda baru. Lempeng kelapa tu pun aku tgk adalah menyedihkan. Pohon maaf banyak2 tapi please, takkan takde hidangan yang lebih 'wow' dari itu? Again, it doesnt have to be a western cuisine or maybe fussion pun boleh like lasagne with local flavours ke, or pie tapi inti masakan timur ke, why kari ikan? Whyyyyyy?? Bukankah peserta2 ni kena audition baru boleh masuk Masterchef and mesti diorang terpaksa tahan menguap tgk cef tu buat kari ikan. Diorang dah pandai masak cuma bukan cef. Faham? Hhhmmmphh!

So far, saya hanya impress dengan 2 cook-off dgn chef tu: 1 masak salmon, 1 masak beef wellington (oh, mahu cuba).

Sekian pandangan saya.

toocute*

2011-10-17T11:20:00.002+08:00

Why the hell does baby stuff has to be so cute? Too cute!!!!! Huh! Even a super-practical person like me needs to control herself (or mildly sedated and distracted by other things at least) so that she:

a) does not end up buying things that she wants, not because the baby actually needs it;

b) justify a reason why the baby needs it when sebenarnya, its for my own vanity and satisfaction; and

c) doesnt loose her sense when it comes to comparing prices. example: cute bottles cost more, just because
of THAT, cute. It still functions the same. Cuter (and more expensive bottles) does not provide magical
powers to provide endless milk (for example).

Thank god so far I have a good list of things to buy and I am obeying the list so far. And I am having so much fun spending money on things for my baby. Finally!!! As I have been holding back buying ANYTHING until I'm 7 months in. So when & months finally rolled in, I have already saved a LOT of cash, a checklist in hand with specific things to buy since I have done extensive research online (poyo).

Saya menggunakan perancangan kawen saya dulu sebagai template: beli benda besar dahulu, yang mahal dulu then baru settle benda2 kecik yang tak perlu survey sangat dan senang dibeli. Ini adalah kerana barang mahal dan besar memerlukan persetujuan saya dan dibelek dengan teliti dan once that is out of the way, senang nak bajet barang2 kecil yang lain. Berbekalkan bonus 2 bulan suami saya, serta beberapa ribu yang telah saya simpan dengan penuh kesabaran, ini adalah kemajuan pembelian barang2 baby saya:

Sudah dibeli:

1) Stroller + car seat carrier (3 wheeled Sweet Cherry in Black/ Turquoise)
2) Chest of drawer for baby cloths @ Ikea
3) Moses basket with all the trimmings
4) Steam Electric Bottle Sterilizer - Tommee Tippee + free 4 bottles (sponsored by Mama) @ Mothercare
5) Medela Electric breast pump + free 2 nursing bra + free nursing poncho + free 6 breast pads
6) Mini mattress + pillow + bantal peluk 2
7) Receiving blankets (maaf, terpengaruh akibat kecomelan)
8) 2-piece rompers and 3-hooded towels @ Mothercare (maaf, also chomel)
9) Lacy modern bengkung for myself

and a few bits and pieces like minyak panas, etc for the overnight bag to the hospital, which I have yet to pack :p

This evening sepatutnya my hubby will stop by at Ikea to buy the crib and diaper changer rack yang baru sampai stock semalam. So, that will be settled. Mattress for the cot have to survey first. Hhhmmmm.... This week will take leave on Thursday and Friday!!! (saje, boleh?) Maka mahu pegi tengok kedai Manjaku di Bangi (yeke? mcm jauh je :p) dan Mothercare @ KLCC for some things. Oh, I love Mothercare. Sudah ada membership, hehehe. Ada kedai baby lain yang sesapa boleh recommend?

Thinking of buying a portable, smaller cot for the downstair room. Ye lah, probably will spend most of my day kat bawah pun. Since the wooden cot will be in my room, better kat bawah pun ada kan, preferably yang boleh tolak tarik and better kalau boleh compact lipat in case nak bawak berjalan later2. Membazir tak kalau beli?

Update on the pregnancy: my boy has been kicking like nobody's business. Cant wait to see him during the check up this Thursday. Harap dapat tgk muka dia lagi :) Pppsssstt, my current weight: almost 55kg. I have piled on almost 10 kg. Hohohohoho. Why do I still sound jolly? Because people still tell me I havent put on weight (except a few haters yang seronok sangat bila tgk aku 'gemuk') (Do I sound like I'm in denial?)

Yang penting I am healthy, happy and still full of energy. My hubby sangat takut bila I start menari2 dengan perut saya ni. Another thing, being pregnant makes me mengaji more, berdoa more and I really just want to be a better person. Lets keep this up even after giving birth ok, Didi?

*happy*

imagechange*

2011-10-11T10:59:00.002+08:00

Now, some people may think what I'm a bout to write here is a bit shallow and superficial, but I feel like its something that I would like to share. Sometimes we'd like to think that we are intelligent enough to know that physical appearance are just skin deep and does not define who you are, but hey, we all have different levels of insecurities when it comes to our looks. Its not because we dont appreciate God's gift; its because we're only human.

All my life, my physical appearance has been defined as 'kecik, putih, comel/lawa'. I am not praising myself here. I know growing up, I can make a guy's head turn for a second look and I always have guys wanting me. Please, I am not trying to be obnoxious but this will lead to why I feel like I need to post this.

So I know that I am attractive. I am confident. Although my confidence actually comes from inside meaning personality-wise, I'm at ease with myself. But of course, your looks is what people see and judge first. Guys want to know me BECAUSE of my looks. Of course, once they gotten to know me, they would love me even MORE. Hahahahaha. Apakah motif post ini sebenarnya?

Motifnya: Even when I gotten myself married, guys still look at me the same way; strangers laaa. Orang yang dah tau aku dah kawen tak la. Because even when I'm married, orang tak tau lah aku dah kawen, so still head turns. And I am so used to it. I have received that kind of attention from guys dari zaman awal remaja.

Now that I'm pregnant, the attention dissapears. Suddenly, because of the bulging tummy, I am not someone worth of second glance, and I dont make head turns anymore. I am not sad and I dont grieve the loss of attention, but I havent gotten used to it. Believe me, I wouldnt trade my pregnancy for ANYTHING, but I guess when you have been defined by your looks all your life, you feel like you have lost your touch. Yeah, yeah, it sounds completely silly but thats what I'm feeling right now. I am proud to be married and happy that I'm pregnant, but being 'invisible' need some getting used to.

I feel like I havent changed, but people are looking at me differently. hehehe

Silly right?

hello3rdtrimester

2011-09-26T10:53:00.002+08:00

Q: Why havent you updated your blog for a long time? Why dont you fill us in what happened on your 2nd trimester?
A: Laziness is what happened!! After a 1st trimester of barfing, my second trimester went surprisingly well. Just my luck though, once my barfing period stops, along comes Ramadhan. So I didnt get to practice my appetite to the fullest until Raya.

Q: How was your Ramadhan? Did you manage to fast?

A: I didnt force myself just for the sake of malas nak ganti later on. I missed on 5 days of fasting, and that was because I threw up. Mostly because masuk angin and perut kosong. Not because I was still nauseous. So that was my limit: once I throw up, it was eating time. Sometimes too eagerly pulak, hahaha. Bila muntah, 'YES!!!!!!! Boleh buka puasa!!' haha keji tak? Takde lah, selagi larat memang nak puasa. Tapi kena ada alasan lah kalau nak berbuka pun kan. Kalau dah start lapar sikit berbuka, memang 1 bulan laa aku miss. But even during buka puasa, I didnt eat that much. Thats why I lost weight during fasting :(

Q: Have you found out the sex yet?

A: Sex? Whose sex? What sex? We shall not talk about this here!!!!

Q: THE BABY!!!!

A: Laaaa...Lain kali kasi clear sikit. My OTO is a boy!!!!!! Alhamdulillah..... I secretly wanted a boy for my firstborn although of course it didnt really matter as long as the baby is healthy. I have always wanted an abang growing up and sangat jeles dengan kawan2 yang ada abang. Ini disebabkan (kononnya) abang boleh protect adik pompuan. Lagi2 kalau abang tu hensem, maka kawan2 dia pun hensem maka adik pompuan akan menjadi perhatian kawan2 abang yang hensem dan kawan2 pompuan semua nak berkawan sebab mempunyai abang yg hensem. Hahahaha. Alasan yang sangat vain dan shallow :p Lagi satu, since he will be the abang in the family, dapatlah ajar at an early age how to be the man in the family, bukan nyorok dan suruh kakak dia yang buat semua (seperti aku). huhu.

Q: Is the little one active?

A: Ho yesss... There are times when he kicks like he's trying to get out! But I really love feeling every single movements and kicks and I miss it when he's quiet :) I also like to talk to him about mundane stuff, you know, telling him about my day, how I cant wait to see him, how I hope he will come out safely and how I want whats best for him :)

Q: Did you still manage to make your yearly Raya cookies?

A: Yup! Me and my partner-in-baking, Yantie, managed to make 5 cookies and 1 cheesecake! There was supposed to be 6 cookies but the damn recipe was a complete failure. We made semprit for the 1st time with much sucess and oat cinnamon cookies which are delicious and will be making them not only for Raya. Although baking is tiring, but its therapeutic for me and I guess the satisfaction of baking something from scratch which actually tastes better than those sold out there is priceless :)

Q: Hows your wardrobe scenario?

A: Oh, this is a sad subject :( Most of my baju kurung cannot be worn at all, but I stll wear them, wonky kain and all!!! Hahaha, selekeh sikit kut :p I havent bought maternity clothes, just pants as obviously, my normal pants dont fit anymore. I'm beginning to buy dresses, that I can wear with long cardigans or shawls. Maternity clothes are so frumpy, fashionless and most of all, EXPENSIVE!!!! Why? Eeeuughhh.... And since my house clothes consists of 70% of baby tees, I still wear them even though they barely covers my (popped out) belly-button. Chomel tak? :p For Raya, I managed to find caftan for kids size XXL that I could wear. I bought 2, one in yellow, one in pink. And also a caftan I bought online, which I havent worn yet because its still a bit big (since its adult size). See, I'm not an adult yet, I'm tellin' yaa

Q: Are you ready? Mentally, financially, things for the baby?

A: Financially, ready or not you really dont have a choice la kan but alhamdulillah, I think we've been good with saving our money. Mentally, hhhmm....really cant say. I mean, I cant wait to experience it. Of course I'm scared but giving birth would be a beautiful thing. Something as big and as precious as baby must come with a big price and sacrifice, right? As for things for the baby, will start buying this week. Havent bought a thing yet; but have set my eyes on a couple of things. I am not planning on making a nursery for the baby, just some room in our master bedroom as its not really practical. And I'm sure I want him by my side as much as possible anyway :)

2 months + to go. Cant wait to see you, my baby boy :)

sociallyhandicapped*

2011-08-15T14:28:00.003+08:00

I think I'm a friendly person. During my teenage years, I would actually think I was toooo friendly *winks*. Anyway, but even though I am friendly by nature, I dont associate with much people. I have a close knit of close friends. I find having too much friends is exhausting. Like you have to give attention, because, if not, then they're not really friends. When I have friends, I go all the way for them, no meeting halfway. But there's no such thing as too many acquaintances. Ye lah, orang yang kita kenal tapi xde la berkawan sangat.

What I'm trying to get at actually is how all the social networks now popping up like mushrooms to connect to all the people we already know, but those complete strangers that we think we want to know. I never went through the YM/chatting phase that most people went through during high school and uni. I didnt care much for it. I didnt even have a Friendster's account. Hohoho. Memang time tu macam katak bawah tempurung kut with all the hype on chatting and Friendster, budak2 sibuk lepak kat cyber cafe, but I just didnt find it appealing. Kawan2 yang kenal dalam realiti pun tak berkesempatan aku nak betul2 spend time, tak payah la nak buat kawan online dan secara maya di mana semua orang boleh je tipu sana sini. Seriously, esp time uni, tak sampai 10 org je kut kawan aku. Kategori kawan di sini maksudnya aku lepak dgn dia di luar waktu kelas, bukan sbb belajar tapi sbb aku memang suka lepak dgn dia.  

Then came Facebook. When everyone masih dgn Friendster, I slowly became aware of FB. And the only reason I actually register was because my schoolmates from the UK were trying to get in touch with me. So, the 1st year as a FB member, all my friends only consists of my friends from the UK. Tapi bila FB sudah tersebar luas, eksyen pulak kang kalau tak approve kawan sendiri kan? hahaha. So, itulah sebabnya saya ada account FB. Itu pun saya approve orang saya kenal je. Bukan dengan tujuan untuk berkenalan dgn sesapa.

Now, come real-time social networks like Twitter. Oh tidaaakkkk.. I can never sign up as to me, if you have an account but you dont actually use it, meaning updating constantly and stalking everyone in the universe, then whats the whole point? Even though I boleh je push email kat hp or play FB on my phone and updating it on the go but I feel like its a ball of chain. Saya rasa rimas. Saya tak suka nak tau updates semua orang. Bila free je, bukak and update here & there. I can go for a week without FB pun, tapi kalau my hubby, 1 hari tak dapat log in, menggigil kut :p hahahahaha

So, yeah. Thats my take on social network. I dont care much for it.I really hate when I see a family out for dinner yet they are not talking to each other but focus on each other's handphones. Its pretty sad. 

Only my family & real friends deserve my undivided, diligent attention :)

RamadhanReview*

2011-08-12T09:40:00.000+08:00

Hari ni dah hari ke-12 Ramadhan.
So far, saya dah terpaksa tinggal 4 hari puasa sebab muntah. Itu adalah penentu sama ada saya puasa atau tidak. Once muntah, saya terus berbuka sebab muntah masuk angin sampai asid perut kuning keluar adalah sangat menyakitkan ye?

Tapi, alhamdulillah, dah nak masuk 6 bulan ni, things do get easier. I feel so much better. Mood sudah baik. Perut semakin besar. Adalah rasa penat sikit and tulang pinggang sengal sikit, tapi so far, its bearable. Alhamdulillah juga, hampir hari2 saya masak untuk berbuka dan sahur. Lagi sedap kut walaupun sesimple mana. Pasar Ramadhan sekali je cecah kaki. Makan kat luar pun, sekali kat TGIF. Yang lain, sume kat rumah. Kadang2 rasa kagum pulak, sampai rumah boleh masak lagi. Because my hubby pun sampai rumah nak dekat 7pm so xnak la dia jugak kena fikir makan apa. Paling best bila mama datang tido rumah, dia masak asam pedas, sambal udang petai, ayam goreng berempah & sayur goreng. Huhuhu. Sgt sedaappp!!

My hubby bukan jenis yg bersahur tapi oleh kerana bagi menggalakkan isteri dia untuk bersahur properly, kenalah dia bangun dan tolong kan? Sahur makan nasi dgn lauk simple je. Sambal ikan bilis, telur goreng, salad ke. Dengan serunding ke. Kalau ada lauk lebih berbuka, lagi senang lah, kalau x kena masak lain. Cuma rasa bulan puasa ni kurang makan buah laaa. kalau tak tu, memang asyik makan buah jeee...

So far, I havent put on much weight. Tak la risau sangat tapi 50 kg pun x sampai lagi ok?? Tiap2 bulan naik 300gm, 200gm. Ceh! Padahal tgk perut, makin membesar. Kat mana berat tu menyorok? Sekarang my weight is 49.4kg!!!! Come on, genap kan 50 kg bulan ni!!!!!

Projek tahunan membuat kuih raya sendiri diteruskan seperti biasa dengan partner baking saya, Yantie. Dah selesai buat Mazola, yum!!!! Saya suka baking dgn Yantie because dia organized like me dan when it comes to baking, she means business and no hanky panky yang boleh melambatkan habis. Last Friday start buat biskut around 10.30pm and finish around 2.30am. Letih tapi puas. Org lain sume dah tido, tinggal aku dgn dia. By 2.00am dah siap basuh, lap meja, sapu lantai, tinggal tunggu 1 batch lagi dlm oven je. So kami adalah sangat efficient (puji diri sendiri :p). Anyway, mlm ni buat makmur pulak. Next week buat 2 jenis kut choc chips and oat raisins cookies. Oh sukeeee!!! *claps*

Satu perkara yang put off, adalah baju raya. Huh, saya mau cari kaftan2 yang chantek tapi malas nak fikir. Sbb sebelum ni saya tak pernah beli baju siap utk Raya tapi tahun ni cam malas pulak. Tapi nanti tgk org lain melawa, menyesal pulak. Huhuhu.

Rezeki baby dan bulan puasa, akan dapat separuh bulan bonus, alhamdulillah. My hubby pulak dapat 2 bulan bonus!!!! Weeeeeee!!!! Simpan utk barang baby nanti :) Lepas Raya nanti baru start beli kut, tapi dah survey la sikit2.

Raya tahun ni, both my brothers from India (Bajin) and Germany (Bamin) akan balik, maka tak sabar nak tgk diorang dan bergossip. Balik Kedah tahun ni!!! Hurrah!!!!

Semalam buat check up. Scan. Dah nampak telur ;)

Until my next post, selamat beribadat!!!!

p.s: Terasa tak macam cara saya post entry ni cam budak baik? ke aku terperasan. hahahoho

letsgetwet

2011-08-08T16:41:00.000+08:00

I like moisturizers.
All kinds; for hair, for skin, for everything in between.
I have dry skin. And dry hair.
So moisturize is key for me.

My routine every morning and night goes like this:

1) Run through a few pumps of L'Oreal Elseve hair serum through my, erm, obviously, hair. Mesti mula dgn rambut because its the oiliest & body lotion on hair just aint cute.

2) Moisturize muka dengan sama ada Body Shop Vitamin E SPF 15 Moisturizer in the morning or Body Shop Vitamin E Night Cream at night. Before that, sapu dulu skin serum supaya kulit dapat serap pelembap yang disapu (katanya).

3) Kemudian saya sapu pula Palmer's Cocoa Butter Oil di perut saya yang sedang membesar dgn begitu tegangnya bagi mengelakkan stretch marks mengganas menjelma.

4) Then, disapu both lengan dan kaki (ye la both, takkan sebelah je kan? :p) dengan Vaseline lotion. Ini memang tradisi utk berapa tahun ntah dah tak ingat. Dah pernah try lotion lain bila boring, Nivea lah, St. Ives lah. Tapi mesti berpatah balik kepada Vaseline. Ianya terbaik untuk kulit saya. Oh, dan Johnson&Johnson pun okay.

5) 2nd last, sapu Ellgy di tumit kaki. Ini amat kritikal kerana kulit kaki saya senang kering dan pecah. Kalau 2-3 hari lupa, dah macam kematu tapak kaki. Huhu.

6) Lastly, Vaseline hand and nail lotion. Lotion last yang paling wangi :)

Dulu rajin jugak sapu eye cream, tapi oleh sebab mahal dan tak nampak pun hasilnya, jadi setelah beberapa tiub, lupakan lah saje. Lagipun concealer kan ada....

Begitula routine saya setiap malam. Siang bukan semua steps saya buat tapi malam adalah MESTI. Walaupun separuh mamai, akan kugagahkan jua.....

Alhamdulillah, so far takde lah dalam mamai sapu lotion kaki kat rambut. Hoho :p

summaryofthe1sttrimester

2011-07-18T11:22:00.001+08:00

Q: How would you describe your first trimester in 5 words?
A: Cautious, vomit, nauseous, hoping, praying.

Q: What was the biggest misconception of pregnancy?
A: There's no such thing as a pregnancy glow. In my case, it was just a case of not having to wear blusher since my face seems to flush all the time. I dont equal flushing to glowing.

Q: How did you feel in these first 3 months?
A: I was mostly scared. Afraid. But I try not to feel scared because then I would be stressed and being stressful can contribute to miscarriage. And that what makes me afraid. Because I have had one before. I remember constantly checking my pantyliner every hour, dreading for any spotting. It was a bit manic, but seriously, that's what I did. And the relief everytime there's no blood but it starts again every hour. To be honest, I tried not to hope so much because I was so crushed the last time. Compared to last time, I didn't spend as much time reading about pregnancy and stuff because I guess I didn't want to hurt so much.

Q: What were the precautions you took this time round?
A: I didn't cook at all. Not because I don't have the energy, I just don't want to regret anything and then blame myself for it. My appetite is also going yoyo so it's just not worth the effort to cook and then finding out you I don't have the stomach for it. I also try to rest and take more naps. I told my boss of my pregnancy earlier so that he would go easier on me and let me go back early. Oh yeah, I take plastic bags wherever I go because I vomit anytime, anywhere.

Q: Did you crave anything?
A: Nothing in particular. As I said, I had no appetite at all, but Alhamdulillah, I had the will and strength to continue eating even when I was constantly throwing up. I didn't really TASTE nor enjoying the food, I was eating for the sole reason that I had to. Because either way, I was going to throw up anyway. Although, the amount of Spicy Chicken McDeluxe consumed within this 3 months did escalate compared to before.

Q: How did you overcome your daily coffee intake?
A: Maannnnn....This one is HARD!!!! I did cheat a BIT, but in 3 months, I only sipped like, 5 sips of coffee *pats*back*. Although, watching me sniffing other people's coffee cups during meetings is NOT a pretty sight. Hahahaahha. Bau pun jadi lah :p

Q: What do you hope will change and will happen in the second trimester?
A: My first wish: for the vomiting to stop (since I'm writing this with the wise knowledge of being almost 5 months pregnant, I only stopped at 4 months, 1 week). Secondly: for my appetite to come back so I can enjoy food like I used to. Thirdly: For my tummy to show because I really am sick of guys still trying to hit on me. I'm not only married, I'm PREGNANT!!!!!! Fourth: To know the sex of the baby :)

Until my next trimester review...........

nightmares

2011-06-22T11:57:00.001+08:00

Lately I've been having long, tiring dreams. And some of them are just so gory and violent.

For example, a few days ago, I had the worst dream in my whole entire life. But I slept right through it, meaning, it didnt wake me up. Actually, I seldom wake up in the middle of the night at all (unless di tempat baru la, thats a whole different story).

In my dream, I kept running from room to room because there's people chasing with shotguns. I dont know who they are but they fire those big shotguns people use for hunting animals. Anyway, I kept running, go into a room with 5-6 people and everyone gets shot, except me. I just lay down, soaked in other people's blood. Then when the shooting stopped, they drag all the bodies and burn them outside. I could see it through the window. And this is the time I went to another room, again filled with people, and the same thing happen, everyone dies except me. This just go on and on until I woke up to the sound of my alarm.

It was terrifying because I can remember vividly how I felt in the dream. I was so confused, thinking that is this a game, where they purposely not kill me just to torture me?

Please, I dont want to have these dreams anymore :(

secondtry*

2011-05-31T17:02:00.000+08:00

Wow!!!! I havent blogged for a long time!!!!! Seriously, not only did I not have the time (which is a lousy excuse and so cliche), but I had no idea what to write about. Actually there was 1 thing I wanted to write but I had to be patient and wait til the right time. Or a more suitable time.

I'm 3 months into my pregnancy!

(And I blurted it just like that)

Alhamdulilllah...........

Thanks for everyone who prayed for me and gave me strength for me to be positive after my last miscarriage.

We didnt expect it to happen so quickly since I only had 1 menstruation cycle after the miscarriage but of course we were overjoyed once we found out. Actually, I knew something was different even when my period was late for only 2 days. I tested with the home pregnancy kit on the 3rd day and yes, it was very vaguely positive. Terkejut lah, tapi tak nak excited sangat. Waited for another week, tested it again, and yes, its a much stronger positive.

With that confirmation, I instantly turned into a diva: no more cooking for me. Full stop. Hohoho. Sampai sekarang tau. Angkat2 benda ni, buat2 rajin kemas rumah, vacuum rumah: no more. Kemas2 ringan tu adalah, kang jadi hutan belantara rumah aku. Tu pun, cuba la jugak buat muka comel, ' Ayang, nampak tak tuuuuuuuuu....?', sambil tunjuk rambut2 yang banyak (ye, rambut aku) kat lantai. Hehe, nak suh di vacuum lah.

Kesimpulannya, I have learnt my lesson to not be so active. Aksi sopan sikit (erm, sikit je laaah) dan enough rest. Namun, pregnancy kali ini, kemuntahan saya boleh tahan jugak. My 1st pregnancy, tak loya dan tak muntah langsung. Kali ni, as early as 6 weeks dah start muntah hari-hari. Tak kisah la, pagi ke, tgh hari ke, ptg ke, mlm ke. Apatah lagi sama ada aku dlm meeting ke, tgh sembahyang ke, memang semua tong sampah di ofis aku ni dah jadi mangsa. Even sinki bilik air bos aku. Ooooopsss... maaf, tak sempat, Dato'. Oh dalam kereta pun adalah dalam 4 kali muntah. Jadi, ku bawa plastik dalam handbeg dan poket blazer aku.

This time, I also told my boss that I'm pregnant supaya beliau tidak pelik kenapa la pegawai khas dia ni asyik keluar dari meeting, or kalau muka aku toya sikit dan eyeliner aku comot akibat baru lepas muntah. At least dia tau, dia bagi lah aku balik awal sikit.Dan aku, dengan muka tak malu, boleh lah selalu buat muka kesian nak balik awal sikit. Eh, awal maksud aku adalah sebelum Maghrib!! (Tetiba defensif, hahaha).

Anyway, yg sangat tak best adalah kehilangan seleraku. Itu lah yg paling aku rindu sebab sekiranya anda mengenali saya, food adalah passion aku. Boleh sepanjang hari usha resipi, setiap petang ada je benda yg teringin nak makan. Tp this pregnancy, membuatkan aku mati kutu sbb xde selera. Sbb tekak selalu rasa pahit. Tengok makanan, walaupun biasanya aku anggap sgt sedap, pun mcm termenung je. Sampai pilih menu makanan berdasarkan sama ada kalau muntah, pahit ke tak. Huhuhu. Sebab muntah nasi minyak dan nasi briyani adalah TIDAK SEDAPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

Oh, ada sekali tu aku termuntah yoghurt depan PAP aku, siap keluar ikut hidung lagi. Hahahaha. Tersangkut cebisan strawberi dalam hidung :p Gile selekeh kan!!!! Dah la PAP aku laki.

Maaf, terlalu detail la entry kali ni.

Ada naik rash hari tu, time 2-3 minggu cuaca panas gile tu. Tapi dah surut. But still ada la ruam sikit2. Rasanya macam xleh makan ayam, tapi laki aku cakap ayat standard dia yg sangat menjegkelkan 'Its all in the mind, darlin'. Maka aku cubit dia dan bila dia cakap sakit, aku ulang balik ayat tu kat dia. Hahaha.

Other than that, perasaan loya perlahan-lahan makin berkurangan. Insya allah, harapnya selera aku akan kembali tak lama lagi.

Kawan2, wish me all the best okay? :)

Will update soon.

Ciao.....

heytime!!!!waitforme

2011-04-11T09:20:00.002+08:00

I think this year is passing in supersonic speed. Its April already!!!!!!!!! :(

Maybe out of all the years,I especially feels like hanging on (more like clinging) to this year even more so because.........................next year I'll be (GASP!!!!!) 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah, drama je lebih and bukan nak insult org lain kata diorang dah tua (walaupun betul) tapi I dont feel close to 30. (Dah la tua, tak sedar2 lagi pulak tu). Not that 30 is OLD, but it seems antara umur 29 dan 30 tu, boleh selit 5 tahun celah tu. Its like a huge leap walaupun pada hakikatnya hanya 1 tahun.

And to add salt to injury, while I will be spending my saki baki 20-an on November, suami saya baru nak masuk 29! Dem dem dem it!!!!

Maybe its about how ur body is aging but ur mind doesnt want to catch up. I am not depressed about it; another year celebrated is another year to be thankful. That you are given another year of life where many are denied of that chance. But also another year passes and u feel u have nothing to show for. Did u leave a mark somewhere in the world, in someone else's life or in ur own life?

Usually u go into the new year, or ur bday with hopeful things to do, to achieve, to conqueur. But alas, most of them are just that; just another list for another year. Time never stops for u to complete what u hope to achieve. It just passes by.

So, whats the moral of this post? Just to sigh and moan on things that I want to do but then give a million of excuses on why it wasnt materialized? I dont know. Like helping out at old people's house, rumah anak yatim. Tiap2 tahun cakap nak buat, tapi tak buat2 lagi.

Maybe this post is just to make me feel better. To show the world that I have a conscience. But dont have the balls or to sacrifice enough to make it actually come true. And then I feel bad about it.

When u break ur own promise to urself, thats the worst kind of all.

thinkgood*

2011-03-11T08:58:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why I'm writing this here, or writing this at all because its absolutely pointless. Why I even bother raising up this subject is beyond me but I got to do what I got to do and get it out of my system.

I just HAVE to.

Why do people always find it so easy to believe bad things and search for bad attributes in another human being?
Why do people always find it hard to believe that there ARE good people as real as there is BAD people?

One of my MOST HATED phrase a human can utter is; " Walaupun cantik, isi hati bukannya kita tahu. Perangai belum tentu lagi. Tak guna cantik kalau perangai tak elok ". I'm sorry tapi statement ini akan sering disebut oleh orang yang tak berapa cantik mengikut skala kecantikan standard. But to me, ada ke org cantik dan tak cantik? Semua orang cantik, in their own specific ways.Dan isi hati manusia, oh, siapalah kita untuk mengetahuinya? Kalau dah tau takkan tau, sila jaga isi hati masing-masing.

Tapi ramai pulak yang baik hati cakap, " Ala.... tak semestinya kalau dia seksi/ amik gambar pakai bikini/ minum arak dia jahat. Bukan semua yang pakai tudung tu baik".Funny right? We search the good in people in the strangest situations. But when goodness is right under your nose, you scrutinize it microscopically. ("Tgk tu, pakai tudung tapi pakai baju lengan pendek. Sama je" dan org yang menegur ni tak pakai tudung malah sangat jauh dari pakai tudung.

Atau, "Tengok muka pecah rumah pun dah tau jahat". Kalau correlation antara muka pecah rumah dan perangai jahat adalah tepat, takyah siasat jenayah dah, tangkap je semua org yg dianggap muka pecah rumah.

Teringin nak dengar statement, "Kalau cantik mcm ni, mesti baik hati jugak". Bersangka baik terhadap orang. Unless orang tu dah buat jahat kat korang, masih nak bersangka baik tu dah sengal la kan.

Manusia ada baik dan ada jahat. Daripada semua kategori; bertudung, tidak, sopan, tidak sopan.
Pokok pangkalnya pegang cermin, dan cerminlah diri dulu sebelum ada hati untuk judge orang lain.

Saya tahu saya jauh dari perfect, tapi saya elakkan diri saya dari membuat judgement ke atas orang yang saya tidak kenal. Mesti akan ada orang yang kutuk saya, walaupun sedaya upaya menjaga hati orang lain. Itu lumrah hidup, lumrah manusia.

Saya hanya akan cakap benda buruk pasal seseorang sekiranya : a) dia pernah buat salah kat saya, dan b) jelas terang2 dia buat perangai horror. Tidak pernah dari hearsay dan rupa paras, latar belakang keluarga atau fashion seluar yang dia pakai.

This issue is officially off my chest!!!!!
*Huffss*

AlFatihah*

2011-03-03T10:41:00.003+08:00

A good man and a friend has passed away yesterday. In a peaceful way. In his sleep.
I wrote a post about him a few years ago and it sums up everything about him.
This is how I, and I'm sure everyone, will remember him. (Sorry, my posts are grouped by month but the date is 23.7.2008.Once u clicked the link, click at 'My Entries'.)
http://dian-thetruth.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html

Hilmy Hasrin.
You will sorely be missed. I am glad we have met and that we had been friends.
Even if it was for a short time.

Obviously God love you more. Thanks for everything.

Al-fatihah.....

whatmakesaperson*

2011-02-18T12:08:00.001+08:00

There are so many things that makes a person. Some relevant, some may not. But either way, it affect the way a person is. You cant pin point a certain reason.

Sebagai contoh:

1) Cara dibesarkan/ pengetahuan agama.
2) Keadaan kewangan.
3) Peluang education/ pekerjaan.
4) Role model.
5) Keadaan persekitaran.
6) Tragedi.

I think theres a lot more but those are some of the main things that shape you to be the person you are today. Maybe you think your own personality is all your own work but actually it really depends on how everything fall into place in your life.
For example, saya sangat marah bila ada orang cakap ' Eh, kau boleh berkawan dengan pembantu makmal? Kenapa tak keluar lunch dengan researcher lain?' Sambil memandang rendah kepada pembantu makmal. Siap boleh cakap, 'Alah, diorang jadi pembantu makmal sebab malas nak sambung belajar'

Excuse me!!!

It seems walaupun dia diberi rezeki untuk menyambung pelajaran, namun otak dia tak cukup jauh untuk fikirkan bahawa bukan semua orang diberi peluang seperti dia.

Memang, kita tak boleh salahkan nasib diri tapi boleh tak fikir dulu sejenak sebelum mengandaikan sesorang itu berada di kedudukan mereka sekarang adalah kerana atas pilihan sendiri. Mungkin keluarga mereka tidak mampu untuk menyara sambung belajar tinggi2. Mungkin dia terpaksa tanggung adik belajar. Mungkin bagi dia tidak penting untuk mengejar cita2 tinggi. Terlalu banyak kemungkinan. Kenapa perlu kita fikir yang buruk? Kalau Tuhan bagi rezeki yang sama kepada semua manusia pun, bukan apa yang anda mahu dan rasa best dianggap sama bagi org lain.

Personaliti sesorang pun dipengaruhi oleh banyak perkara. Kita rasa dia kasar, maybe sbb kita datang dari family yang soft spoken. Ada orang kurang ajar, sbb maybe dia dibesarkan dengan cara kalau nak sesuatu, mesti berkeras. Dan kemungkinan kewujudan manusia-manusia kurang ajar ini adalah sebagai pengajaran kepada orang-orang lain agar tidak mencontohi mereka. (Aik, kenapa hari ni aku tulis dlm BM fluid je? Biasanya mesti nak tulis in english. Wow! *tepuk bahu*)

Macam mana pun, memang kita x boleh blame sejarah kehidupan kita bila kita tgk diri sendiri. Manusia boleh berubah, menjangkaui daripada apa yang orang lain atau diri sendiri expect.Tapi ada sebab seseirang itu begitu dan jangan buat assumption memandai.

Seperti saya:

1) Saya independant sbb saya anak sulung. Datang pula dari broken family yang perlu look after adik2 yang lain. Sifat tegas saya juga adalah kerana saya perlu menjadi kakak yang tegas. Hehe.

2) Tidak pandai berboros kerana dari uni lagi dah kerja part time. Bila dah tau betapa penatnya nak dapat duit, maka sentiasa berjaga2 bila bab2 spending, sama ada perlu atau tidak. Kereta kecik sama je fungsi mcm kereta besar.

3) Ingin melanjutkan pelajaran ke tahap yang lebih tinggi. Kalau abah saya boleh dapat PhD sebagai anak kepada peneroka FELDA, malam2 study guna pelita, takkan dengan kesenangan yang diberi kepada saya tak boleh buat. Itu lah pembakar semangat saya. Mak saya pun ada Masters so standard telah di setkan oleh parents saya.

4) Lantang bersuara. Ni mak saya ajar ye. Itu je explanation saya. Hehe.Sebab mama saya adalah role model saya :)

Memang kita takkan tau latar belakang semua orang. Just give them the benefit of the doubt.

Not everyone is given the same privilege in life. So dont judge them.

Its about making the most of what is given and appreciate them.

coopedup&goingcuckoo

2011-02-09T21:49:00.006+08:00

This is my second week of leave and I'm supposed to be resting but hey, I'm going crazy here. The first week was kinda fun; putting my feet up, bundled up in cardigans and blankets while my mum cooked soups and healthy foods.

I havent been babied that way for a long time. Although it is for a sad reason, but hey, I had to make the most of it :) And it was easy to put my feet up since I was bleeding like nobody's business and I had a house full of people to keep me entertained.

Going into the second week, I was bored to tears by Tuesday. Seriously, I have always been the kind of person who likes to fully utilize her 24 hour-day.

Now that I dont bleed as much, its so easy for me to get carried away with doing house chores because what else is there to do? And I LOVE DOING HOUSE CHORES!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! I'M ONE SICK,SICK LADY!!!!!

My thing to unwind is actually ironing clothes; I mean thats the least I can do without standing up and the guilt of letting time pass without something to show for.

Today I made olio spaghetti and cinnamon muffins. Those are the easiest recipes that I could make :)

And since I've been a bad 'patient' today (oh yes, I even have my own parole officer who checks up on me on line, through the phone and even house visits in the form of Officer Yantie :p) (and she actually takes order from General Lin, where the office is located in Aberdeen), tomorrow I wont be cooking.

Wanna know why? My mother-in-law sent some delicious soup that I can eat maybe with pasta or rice tomorrow. Yeay!!!!!

So Officer Yantie, I will be planting my rather small ass in front of the telly, trying to watch as much corrupt tv as possible.

I'm certain that my IQ will drop immensely by next week. (Well it actually depends on what I watch. E! News, The Kardashians, cooking shows, solving murders; enough said :p

I'm looking forward for Friday because my parole officer will take me to Bangsar Village (yes, she CAN be fun too!! :p) to coerce me to finally buy the Thomas Sabo bracelet since I have the charm but not yet the bracelet.

I hope my parole officer havent sneaked in a GPS in my charm as a way to monitor me.

Erk!

P.S: If I posted again tomorrow, it means that I'm done pulling my eyebrows, squeezed my whiteheads (successfully or not) and talking to myself.

7weeks6days*

2011-02-05T23:13:00.004+08:00

That was how old OTO (our tiny one) was when I miscarried.
:(

Tonight was the 1st time I put on make up, dressed up and go out of the house since THAT day: 30.1.2011, just a day after my 29th bday. Its so ironic that I was celebrating another year of my life the day before but to lose a life the next :(

In actual fact, I only knew I was pregnant for 10 days, although the hoping part (praying that your period wont come) went for 2 weeks beforehand. In those 10 days, we had so much hope, planning and dreaming of all the possibilities. Reading as much info on pregnancy in between meetings and even in meetings, fantasizing on what is going to happen in the next few months. Preparing for the birth of OTO.

Those 10 days I get to feel pregnant, have the label of mommy-to-be.

But I guess its God's will for me not to have a baby just yet. Maybe I didnt slow down enough; I kept working the way I did and doing house chores as usual. But then, maybe if your on the women's national wrestling team or trying to break the worlds record for jumping jacks, if its God's will to still have you pregnant, than you would. All I know is that I'm walking away from this being more cautious for our next OTO, next time round, Insya Allah.

As much as it hurts, as much as it crushed my heart, I will look at this in a positive light.Its just not meant to be. Its not my time yet.

Goodbye OTO. Thanks for making me happy in those precious 10 days that I know you were inside me. I'm sorry I couldnt take better care of you.
I will keep your picture that the hospital scanned just a day before you went away.

*sob*

6weeks4days*

2011-01-21T09:20:00.002+08:00

Thats how pregnant I am. 6 weeks and 4 days. Estimated due date : 12.9.2011.

Alhamdulillah.......
I am so ecstatic :)

I still think this piece of news is unreal somehow. Me, pregnant??? Imagine that?!!!!

We actually planned to not have a baby for the 1st year of marriage. Bukan nak tolak rezeki. But because of a few reasons :

1) We want to enjoy being just husband & wife. Being able to play house without the big responsibility of taking care a small baby. Being able to travel here & there without a care in the world. Not having to think about money constraints so early in the marriage. And basicly being able to act a little bit selfish just a bit much longer.

2) He's in Kuching and me in Semenanjung. It may work on other people but not for me. Being pregnant and not having my husband by my side to experience the journey together, when I actually have a choice, is something that I wont even contemplate about. And the fact that I was living alone; it wont be such a good idea.

3) I was just wasnt ready.

So now, him being transferred here already, and we moved into a bigger house, just got our promotion, God really planned something good for us, Insya Allah.

The funny thing was the trip to the clinic. Haha.
After they tested my pee, the doctor said that I'm 6 weeks 3 days in.
And I'm like WHAT?!
Dan muka aku terpancar tidak puas hati dengan jawapan doktor tu.

' Kenapa? Awak tak percaya cakap saya? Saya ni kan doktor?....'
'Tapi, kenapa kira dari 1st day period? Sah2 la time tu saya tak ngandung lagi?' Sambil memandang muka suami ku yg kerisauan.
' Kalau saya nak explain mcm mana dan kenapa saya kira dari situ, 1 hari tak habis'
' Tapii.....'
' Dulu mak awak mengandung pun kira mcm ni. Doktor 1 dunia kira mcm ni.'
'Takpelah doc. Saya google je lah sbb saya masih x faham'
' Google lah'

Hahaahahahaha
:p

So whats my immediate action from this piece of amazing news:

1) No coffee. Erm, yes, no home made coffee atau di meeting atau saja2 minum. TAPI, saya hanya akan indulge Starbucks coffee mungkin 1 @ 2 kali sebulan atau kalau teringin sahaja. Barulah berbaloi lepas gian coffee kat Starbucks dari sia2 menggadaikan badan ini (cewaah) utk nescafe O di rumah. This is huge for me since I drink coffee everyday. Kalau bau je boleh kan??

2) No fast food and cut down on junk food. This wont be so hard unless nanti ngidam la kan.

3) Eat healthily. We all keep telling ourselves to eat healthy tapi since I have another life depending on what I eat, I will be strict. Its kind of easy since I really like fruits & veggies but just usually reach something bad for snacks like Lays or Ruffles. Cut down on Nasi lemak for bfast. More soya bean (yeay!!!!) and milk.

4) Tidak stress dan face pregnancy with a positive attitude. So what orang lain muntah hari2? Maybe not me. Dont think too much into it. Take good care of myself.

5) Jangan expect untuk beraksi lasak dan lincah seperti mengejar suami saya atas bawah sebab dia xmau mandi. Menunjukkan kehebatan mengangkat benda berat sebab dulu kat DPA boleh angkat balak, angkat beg pasir, angkat senapang. Bukan tak boleh buat semua tu but I dont know how much my body can take with having a baby inside me and I dont want to learn the hard way. Mungkin boleh menggunakan peluang ini utk menjadi sedikit diva dan berlakon lemah.

6) Memakai semua baju kebaya/kurung moden yang ketat sementara boleh dan sebelum mengucapkan tata/sayonara kpd baju2 tersebut dan disorokkan di dalam bilik guestroom yang masih kosong itu.

7) Sentiasa bersyukur kerana dimurah rezeki :)

Oh, my feelings are so indescribable.
Wish me luck :)

p/s: tadi call klinik kesihatan putrajaya. nak buat test sekali lagi @ buka fail di situ. tapi bila dia tanya bila last period bila, dia cakap lama lagi so minggu2 depan pun boleh lagi. Erm,,,, 6 minggu tu awal lagi kah? Nak masuk 2 bulan ni... Erm. Apakah?

blank

2011-01-10T13:35:00.006+08:00

Lately, I seem to have no refreshing ideas on what to write around here. I actually have to ponder on what to write which is strange since usually my fingers types faster than my brain can catch up.

Anyway, the biggest change of 2011 is.............. my husband has finally been transferred here in Semenanjung!!!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! :)
After more than a year playing long distance wife, now the REAL challenges begins. Ye lah, biasanya dia balik weekend je, and sometimes the occasional public holiday here & there but to have him constantly with me actually needed adjustment.

I am happy because:

1) I can REALLY cook now. Before, I only cook for my own satisfaction where sometimes the effort is just too much. Now, I have someone who eats anything and everything, tolak kayu dan batu je. On our 1st grocery trip as permanent hubby-wife, the amount came up to RM250!!!! Hahahahaha! 'Ni nak buat ape?' 'Nak buat tiramisu' 'Ni?' 'Nak try buat pie. 'Tu?' 'Nak cuba buat --------(isi tempat kosong). Oh puas. Excited!!!

2) When I come home, I have someone to talk to. Before, Mr. Sony the TV has been my companion through thick & thin. As happy as I was with Mr. Sony the TV, he never had much humour.

3) I get to iron clothes!!! His clothes! Oh saya rasa amat bersalah bila saya tgk bilangan baju kerja dia adalah sama dengan bilangan stokin saya. Baju saya adalah mungkin lebih daripada 10 kali ganda dari baju dia. Baju kerja dia tak cukup utk rotate 2 minggu pun walhal I boleh rotate baju 3 bulan lebih x pakai baju yang sama. Oooopss. Maka untuk mengurangkan rasa bersalah, saya perlu memaksa beliau membeli sekurang2nya 10 helai baju kemeja lagi. Huurrmm......

4) Memikul tanggungjawab masing2 dalam melaksanakan house chores. Saya masak, dia basuh semua periuk & pinggan mangkuk. Saya jemur baju, dia buang sampah. Dia buat sepah, saya tukang kemas :p

5) Ada driver boleh bawak jalan2. Maka Garmin semakin diabaikan. :p

The not so good:

1) Memainkan peranan seorang isteri yang membebel. Maybe I should put this in the positive column but I hate myself for doing it. Suami saya adalah seorang insan yang AMAT pelupa. AMAT with a capital A, capital M, a capital A yet again and close it with a capital T. Eh lupa hp. Eh lupa kunci. Eh lupa selipar. Eh lupa call. Eh lupa buat. Ggggrrrrr.... Jadi kadang2 saya tau dia lupe, tapi saya sengaja xnak ingatkan. Saya tgk sampai bila dia sedar. Tapi kadang2 saya x sabar dan terpaksa jugak ingatkan dia. Huhuhu.

2) Sharing Mr. Sony the TV. Suami saya adalah kaki dan meja bola. Bangun pagi : bola. Buka Mr. Sony the TV: bola. Buka paper: bola. Balls, balls, balls. Muka aku memang xleh blah. Nanti aku nak masak semua benda bertemakan bola. Nasi aku gumpal bolat2. Geram!

3) Kami adalah opposite. Saya manusia yg suka merancang. Dengan merancang, masa dapat digunakan sepenuhnya. Saya paling tak suka bila masa terbiar mcm tu saje walhal macam2 boleh buat. Suami saya punya konsep pulak, take one day at a time. Plan as you go along. Hari ni nak Astro, hari ni baru telefon. Hari ni nak suruh saya masak ni, ada barang kah? Esok nak pakai baju batik, esok baru nak hantar dry cleaning kah? Oh, Didi menjadi kian hari makin sarkastik huhu

4) Man- ly smells and aromas yang kurang enak. Buweeekkkk!!!! Buka almari kasut, iyeeekkk!!!!! My house does not smell of petals and roses anymore. Booooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

didi&*herappetite

2010-12-23T18:15:00.001+08:00

Oh, I love food. I love eating. I love thinking about food. Watching food being cooked. Reading about food. Trying new food at new places. And love cooking it too.

I'm known to my friends as the one with a big appetite. Believe me, when I'm in one of those moods, even I cant believe the amount of food I eat. Suami saya pun boleh pandang saya semacam bila kitorang makan around the same amount buffet style. Hahaha.

Anyway, so what is my top 5 fave food?
(This does not include snacks or desserts. That a WHOLE new category, my fren)

1) Semestinya TOM YAM. Oh, I cannot bear to imagine a world without tom yum. Clear, red, with santan, or not; semua aku belasah. Especially seafood tom yum. My most favourite tom yum dish EVER is the seafood beehon tomyum at Just Thai. Bersama iced Thai tea, ianya adalah set meal favourite saya. Saya pernah drive ke OU dan sorang2 makan set itu kerana teringin. Ye, walaupun terasa agak loser tapi it was worth it, sambil mengesat hingus kepedasan dan buat2 baca majalah agar tidak nampak berapa loser. Hahahaha. But seriously, do try it if you love spicy tomyum. (oh, I'm salivating just typing this!).

2) Char kuey teow. With lots of kerang and taugeh. And whatever miss pinat cakap, CKT haruslah basah2, kuah2 sikit and berlendir dengan telur. Yum. Makan dengan cili padi potong atau jeruk cili. I only opt jeruk cili kalau ianya pedas, kalau setakat masam2 tapi x memberi unsur pedas langsung, bring on the cili padi potong. Tak tau la kat CKT tersedap. Yang tau, CKT mutiara kat Bangi and yg kat equine tu pun sedap.

3) Yong tau foo. Oooohh... kalau Didi dah mula tunjuk tu, tunjuk ni, tunjuk dan tunjuk lagi, kadang2 makan utk sorang pun boleh jadi RM15. Tak reti (dan buat2 tak reti) nak bajet. Bila org tu dah habis potong, buat2 muka terkejut bila jadi mcm seguni. Yong tau foo paling sedap adalah di pasar malam seksyen 6, shah alam. Saya tak peduli, antara semua YTF yg saya pernah makan, di situlah yg paling sedap. Pedas & banyak choice. Sejak saya kecik kedai tu kat tempat yg sama. Tapi kena beratur panjang. Dah lama x dpt makan sbb dah bukan warga Shah Alam :(

4) Caesar salad. Hahaha. Dari tomyum, CTK & YTF, tetiba caesar salad. Oh, tapi memang. Caesar salad adalah sangat sedap. Pernah cuba buat. Guna caesar salad dressing brand Praise. Oh, sedaaappppnnyaaaaa. Antara caesar salad terhebat adalah Nando's (because you can get the best of both worlds; healthy greens & ayam yang pedas), Dome's and Itallianies. I cant remember tempat lain but I have ordered caesar salad in almost every western-dish restaurants. Ada yang letak salmon, ada yang letak calamaris but the simplest version of caesar salads are the best.

5) Home made, full-of-love omelette. Oh, oh, so easy to make but so, so delicious. Of course, kat restaurants I jarang order sbb makanan ni saya biasa buat dirumah. Its a meal by itself!! 2-3 biji telur (depending how hungry I am). chives. cheese. tomatoes. button mushrooms. chicken steak yang dipotong kecil2. kacau semua, salt & pepper, masak dgn melted butter. Tapi bila terlalu rakus dan letak isi banyak sgt, amatlah sukar utk diterbalikkan. Biarkan 1/3 daripadanya cair2 sikit, makan dengan fork depan tv. Oooohhh,, heaven k?

Itulah 5 favourite dish saya. My all time fave, meaning mesti order tomyam atau CKT kalau makan kedai melayu, mesti beli YTF kalau pegi pasar malam, try caesar salads in almost every restaurants if they have it and whip up an omelette when I'm hungry at home.

*Aaaaauummm*

p/s: berat saya sekarang adalah 47 kg. why am I not even worried?

DatukAbdJabar:AClassAct*

2010-11-16T08:51:00.003+08:00

So, right now my boss is on his retirement 'leave'. I say 'leave' instead of leave because I know him, and he wont stop working from home. He wont stop thinking, solving and messing up his mind with work until his time is really up. Last week, I have been doing work with him at Kopitiam. Doing work through the phone, emailing and smses.

It has been an honour and absolute pleasure to work for him. Although people may respect him as the Secretary General but as much respect as I have for him in that position, its the man and his attitude himself that made him far better than most. His humbleness is something that a lot of people should follow. I see him treat everyone the same; from KPs, SUBs to PAPs. You probably think thats not much, but to me, after listening all the stories on stuck up bosses, mine is definitely the opposite. He tries to get to know all the PSUs he deals with. He is friendly to everyone.

Apart from the formal learning, its the informal learning that I treasure most. His advices on treating people, holding on to integrity (and actually practicing what he preaches), his work ethics (he never misses to punch in & out & writing details if he's late. Its the right thing to do but who's gonna check his punch card, right?), his knowledge, his compassion & empathy (although I think some people deserve a scolding in my opinion hence my boss calling me a 'batu api', hehe), his professionalism and most of all, his dedication.

He asks for my opinion and ideas. Me; a measly 41. When he asks me to help him out, he asks me nicely; as if he has no right to ask me do the job. He compliments and praises me when I have done a good job, which from I heard, not many bosses do. They only give bad comments when you do a bad job but never give appraisals for the good ones. He sometime treats me as an equal. How cool is THAT?

He is a man full of wisdom. Banyak perumpamaan yang berguna I learnt from him. He always describe situations with perumpamaan and stories.

He is a simple man who leads a simple life. A family man.

Most of all, its so easy working for him. He makes me want to be a better person and a better government servant. He always pushes me to perfection. To be respectful, calm and profesional on every situation (THIS saya sangat tabik beliau!)

Lets just say that I have set a high standard for my next boss. Not because he is the KSU.
Its the man inside it.

Thank you for the great 2 years of learning experience.
The Government has lost a class act government officer.

didi&herbeautyproducts

2010-11-15T10:43:00.007+08:00

What kind of women who doesnt like going to pharmacies?
Seriously.

I *love* going to the pharmacy; even if sebenarnya takde benda pun nak beli. Just for the sake of just looking, smelling this, reading that, trying those, and sometimes after 20 mins (on a good day), tak beli satu benda pun. Trip ke pharmacy adalah satu keperluan dan mesti dibuat walaupun tanpa sebarang hajat.

And since I have worked in a pharmacy for 3 years during my uni semester breaks, I have this homey feeling when I go into a pharmacy. Like, kenapa suruh org yang tulisan buruk untuk tulis poster2 promotions tu? Atau, ish ada ke susun barang macam ni? Dan kalau nak buat muka masam/sombong/boring kat sini, sila berhenti dan keje tempat lain. U know, the usual things :p

So beauty products. I'm sure everyone has favourites and preferences. These are mine:

Face : I use the whole set of The Body Shop's Vitamin E collection. I've always love vitamin E because its really good at eliminating scars and due to its moisturizing properties. If u know me well, u would know that I have dry skin, especially my nose. It gets flaky and changes skin like a lizard. Before this, I used Clinique's range for a few years but then I got bored and since I dont really have skin problems, I tried The Body Shop's vitamin E range and am still loyal to it. I have the skin wash, scrub, toner, 3 kind of moisturizers: day with sunscreen, day without sunscreen and night cream, eye cream and hydrating masks. I love the smell, I love that my skin loves it and I get to support an environment-friendly company. And since I'm a member, I get a lot of rebates :)

Body : Like Peanut, I love Vaseline body lotions. I have the big bottle with pump, the smaller one for travelling, the even smaller one for the office and its hand & nail lotion. After every shower, I would apply it to my arms and legs and feet. If I dont, I feel half complete :) For deodorant, I've been using Lady Speed Stick in Baby Powder for a few years now. Its my permanent deo! Shower gels however, I get bored easily. My all time favourite has to be Dove, the original one. Sometimes I go to Lux sebab botol dia kecik & senang nak habiskan. Right now I'm enjoying Johnson&Johnson Top to Toe Baby bodywash and The Body Shops's Strawberry Body Polish. Yum!!!

Hair : I have always used L'oreal shampoo and conditioner. Its either a switch between the pink , the red or the yellow range. I like Dove's shampoo range too but still, I prefer L'oreal. I also use their hair mask every 2 - 3 weeks and their hair serum every night before going to bed.

Make up : My basic make-up consists of 5 things: concealer, foundation, powder, blusher and eye liner. Usually I dont bother with eye shadow and mascara. It really depends on my mood but those 5 things is a MUST. I have been using Maybelline's concealer for as long as I can remember. Almost 10 years I think and its still the best product I use to hide my eye bags and veins yang nampak akibat kulit saya yang cerah dan nipis. Then I use Maybelline's 2 way liquid foundation and on top of that, Maybelline's mineral powder foundation. It sounds thick but I only apply the barest minimum to cover my flaws. After that, its Maybelline's powder blush and lastly my eyeliner. I have eyeliners in black, grey, brown, blue (navy & bright), green and purple (dark & light). I cannot live without eye liners. I feel naked without it. I rarely put anything on my lips. Never lipstick. Gloss maybe. Dior's Gloss in pink. I have naturally red lips so I never accentuate them.

Perfume : I'm a 1 - 2 perfumes kind a girl. I cannot have too many perfumes (yes, I'm looking at YOU, Yantie!!!!). Right now, I'm finishing my Gucci Flora perfume from my hantaran and baru start with YSL's Parisienne. My all time fave perfumes are Christian Dior's J'adore, Lolita Lempicka by Lolita Lempicka and Clinique's Happy. I have a few miniature perfumes like DKNY's Delicious, Dior Addict and Nina Ricci for travel purposes.

Teeth : I only use either Colgate yang warna biru atau Darlie. Saya x suka tooth paste yang gel. Tak best. Kadang2 rajin floss, kadang2 tak. Hahaha

When its all been said and done, when it comes to beauty, nothing beat a good night's sleep, a healthy diet, excercise, a good laugh and a happy heart :)

28thingsaboutme*

2010-10-13T13:44:00.001+08:00

#1 I am making this list because I just felt like it!

#2 I dont like/ hate cats.

#3 I mime to songs by Beyonce, Alicia Keys and Jessica Simpsons every morning in the miror, while putting my face on. Oh, and glee songs too!

#4 Every weekend I try my hardest to go back home to mama for the the reason I keep telling myself that my mama needs me. Actually I need her more. She probably cant stand me. Hahaha

#5 Since my dream on becoming a news reader never materialise, I sometimes like to read out loud to make sure my English is still good. Especially Time magazine. I sound soooooo intelligent!!

#6 I also like to read everything; cereal boxes, shampoo bottles (not for directions, duh!), small prints on boxes. More out of habit. But I HATE reading manual guides!!!!!!

#7 Maps are EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!

#8 I have NEVER done a mani pedi!!!!Can u believe it??????

#9 I never miss any of the La Senza sale. I say that proudly because I love lingerie and I never buy anything full priced there. I only buy a lot during their sale.Yes, I'm aware I only have a pair of boobs and yes, I wear all the 50 pairs I have.

#10 I already have baby names picked out. C'mon, all girls have kan? Cuma mungkin bila bayi tu keluar, tiba2 tak sesuai pulak nama tu.

#11 I love Japanese food and sushi, but I HATE wasabe & green tea. I only like green tea in my Shokobutsu Green Tea Harmony shower gel. Which I dont drink. No one should.

#12 My favourite season is Autumn.

#13 If I could chose to have any face I want, without being ungrateful with what I have, I would like to look like Andrea Corr, singer of long-time-ago band The Corr, like below. I think she has the most beautiful face and so graceful :) She's so beautiful laaaaa

#14 I could never go through a day without being sarcastic at someone or something.

#15 I am a good liar. Seriously. And, its quite handy when you want to come out of a sticky situation. Or maybe just lie for the sake of getting a way with it. Leaning towards the funny side of lying. Not serious lies.

#16 I am proud that some people think I still pass off as a 20 year old!

#17 I have just finished reading 'Dear John' by Nicholas Sparks and I hate the sad ending. Damn you, Savannah Lyn Curtis!!!! Its Channing Tatum for gods sake! (The movie was way too boring. Huffs!!!)

#18 I cannot watch horror movie as I'm a scaredy cat. Who hates cats!

#19 For the life of me, I cant stand Miley Cyrus: professionally and certainly sexually!

#20 I love my work. I love what I do. I do the best that I can do.

#21 It breaks my heart to see how people can be so ignorant about voting. BENCI! I say it again : BENCI!

#22 I dont swear. I never feel the need to cuss or resort to bad language when you want to express your anger or have a fight. Dalam hati mungkin tapi never to anyone's face. Believe me, you can say way harsher things WITHOUT degrading yourself to swearing. Oh, saya rasa sangat bangga kalau saya gaduh mulut dengan orang yg mencarut tanpa diri saya sendiri mencarut tapi masih mengeluarkan statement yang jauh lagi pedas. Perasaan achievement tu sgt best! Bila bergaduh dengan penuh gaya dan tertib, ianya akan memberi spotlight betapa tidak profesional dan kurang adabnya pihak lawan. Hah! Oh, tapi middle finger tu trade mark saya kepada orang2 tersayang: maaf!

#23 Saya benci novel cinta. Atau novel kelakar. Sebab novel cinta selalu cheesy. Dan novel kelakar adalah tak kelakar. I only like crime, or drama or autobiography. Recipes too :p Oh, and I cannot STAND romantic comedies that has Katherine Heigl in it. Urgh! Nothing can compare to My Best Friends Wedding, or Sleepless in Seattle or Notting Hill or When Harry Met Sally or Jerry Maguire. Romantic comedy zaman2 dulu rules dan tak pernah boring tgk byk kali (kan Um?)

#24 My worst physical feature (according to me) is my nose. Whiteheads ahoy!! My best : my skin. Alhamdulillah so far my skin xde problem sgt. And the fact that I'm petite :) (yeah, yeah, thats another word for short BUT one can be short yet not petite :p) Tpi feature itu boleh berubah!

#25 Lately I've been indulging too much of Starbucks Creme Brulee Machiato :( Too much expensive coffee, Didi!!!

#26 I cant wait to be a mother :) Macam mana lah rupa aku mengandung nanti, huhu

# 27 Saya sangat sedih dengan cara Kerajaan membelanjakan duit rakyat :(

#28 I so love telling about myself hence this list and my self-intervied interview :)

Raya2010*

2010-10-11T14:07:00.000+08:00

Crap. This post has been hiding in the drafts for way too long.

Yes. I'm aware that I'm posting this Raya entry a little too late but what the heck. In 10 years, I wanna look back to read what I wrote about my 1st Raya as a wife :)

So, I had a good, not-too-hectic but never shortage of drama (mama's side of the family of course). Went to my family-in-law's house for Raya breakfast: let the eating marathon begins!!!!! Hurraahhh!!! Had the usual rendang and nasi impit & lemangs. I made a moist choc cake with icing the night before for them jadi kuranglah rasa bersalah sebab x masak benda2 yang grand :)

After that, terus gerak ke Johor, at my Tok Tai's house. Meet my mama & the rest of the brood. I love sleeping kat kampung, semua tido kat atas lantai, longgok tido ramai2. This was Syazwan's 1st time sleeping over here so it was fun snuggling up to him, tarik2 selimut di kalangan 5 family yg tidur di ruang yg sama. Siap kena pakai stokin & cardigan lagi ok, tu pun seeejjuukkkk sangat. Malam tu ada drama with adik-beradik my mum; they held a conference tergempar dan sesi confront-mengconfront. Aku nyorok2 dengar je tapi bila pinggang dah sakit bongkok, malas lah.

The next morning setelah que yg sangat panjang utk mandi, sesi bergambar dan pemberian duit raya, kami bergerak pulang ke Putrajaya sebab the next day dah nak gerak ke Kedah. Hurrahh!!! Road trip lagi :)

Kul 9 gerak ke Sg. Petani with 1 car with mama, nina & ammar.Reached there by 3pm & terus mencari kedai makan dan mempelahap nasi kandar :) My mum bought a house here for her to stay selepas pencen & currently our holiday home. The house adalah sgt beautiful!!!! Rumah banglo 1 tingkat, 3-bed rooms and fully furnished. Its a show house so it already has everything. And the house is fully air-conditioned. Over tau rumah my mama ni.

Our 1st night, we had bbq; lamb & 4 ekor ikan eaten with kuah asam yg meletop (self - proclaimed) (made by me!!!).

* I was going to write more but since I cant be bothered, maaf*

*Dah tak berapa ingat dah what happens later*

*Oooopsss*

bigbadworld

2010-08-18T11:45:00.000+08:00

I am 28 years old.

I dont have a kid yet.

Yet I'm writing this because I am scared how things have changed drasticly, not necessarily for the better, compared to my childhood, when I grew up.

And I worry about the world of tomorrow, for my future children (Dramatik tak?)

Dont you just miss seeing children play outside like teng teng, getah, batu seremban on the streets? I remember dulu2, lepas asar je, berduyun2 budak2 keluar rumah, main masak2 la, jual2 sayur la, guna batu kapur utk buat teng teng, main explore longkang. Masuk longkang seksyen 2, keluar kat longkang seksyen lain. Adventure wooo.

Time Maghrib, semua pecut balik rumah, badan berdaki berpeluh selepas berekreasi di depan halaman rumah.

Nowdays, most children dont know what to do with themselves kalau takde playground atau komputer games. Kalau di playground pun, yang menunggu adalah bibik2 orang asing, bukan mak ayah. Bekas2 teng teng di jalan sudah tidak kelihatan.

Saya suka ini. Petang2 tgh syok main getah ke, dengar bunyi hon, atau lagu, semua berhenti main dan jerit kat mak masing2 nak duit. Hehe. Semua berebut nak beli mamee la, ais asam boi la, roti krim la. Tak grand mana pun tapi dengan rakusnya pelahap roti krim 20 sen tuuuu.

I have this thing on dressing your child like an adult. I dont like it. Yeah, I know its fashionable and at times, it does look cute but it really annoys me when people dress up their kid with halter necks, accesories over2, mini handbegs. Because children should just free being children. They have a whole lifetime as teenagers and adults to wear those kinda things (erm, maybe not halternecks). Lagi2 make up!!! Oh tidaaakkkk!!! Believe me, when I was a teenager, my 3 year old cousin wore more make up than me!!!

This is what I hate most: not the holding hands part. Its how our society has disintegrate to the point that sometimes watching a male adult being too affectionate with a child ( not their own) as a sign of a paedophile. I grew up at a time where takde yag pelik pun kalau a 7 year old girl duduk atas lap lelaki dewasa umur 21 ke, 40 ke. But nowdays, with so many cases of child rape, sexual molestation and child pornography, one cannot help but think the worst when these kind of scenarios comes into mind. Its like its no longer safe for you leave your 5 year old daughter under the watch of a 40 year old male neigbour. I'm not being over dramatic hear but how can you go through life when everyone is a potential suspect?

And its sad. Its cases like this that I guess is why less children are allowed to play outside since its not safe anymore.

I dont know why I posted this.

Its just that I dont know what kind of new dangers my children will be in for.

And I'm not yet a parent :(

(And no, I'm not yet pregnant)

Sawadikap

2010-08-05T18:21:00.005+08:00

Yeaayy!!!!! So we finally had our 1st oversea trip together as husband and wife last week where we went to Thailand for 5 days; 2 nights in Pattaya, 2 nights in Bangkok. I'm also ashamed to say this is also my 1st oversea trip since 1996, when I came back from the UK. Hahaha! So, I got 4 days off work (thanks boss!) and got my selfish ass, along with my husband's ass, on the 11.30 am flight to Bangkok.

We had a tour guide named John, our van driver, Schumacher (I dont think thats his REAL name but we just went along with it) plus Mr. Puk and family, Koreans who live in Ampang.

1st stop: Sriracha Tiger Zoo in Pattaya. And yes, they have a gimmick called 'Pig Doing Calculate'.

Basicly its about this huge pig (I think secretly its a cow under a pig mask) that picks up a number which is the corrrect answer to an equation. Like if the man says 2 + 1, the 'pig' will pick up a number '3'.

I actually imagined a pig pressing a calculator. Hahaha.

My husband is sweating it out while petting our pet.

Later, we checked in at Baron Beach Hotel, we had dinner. Then we went to Tiffany's Show. A high class drag show. We didnt expect it to be so extravagant; macam theatre okay. And the 'women'; WOW!!!! I felt so intimidated by these fake women because they were so beautiful and completely believable!!!!!

This is my husband's favorite.

This is mine. Sick, right? Tapi suara tak boleh blah. Hahahahaha.

One surprising thing we found out is that Thailand's coffee tastes better than ours. Even the usual Nescafe has better taste, let alone the coffees they serve in coffee shops. Starbucks and Coffee Bean are hard to find but they have many quaint, modern coffee shops. Yum!!!! We had a coffee and tom yum overdose in Thailand!!! Oh and coconut over dose too!!!!

Yum!!!! We had these around 11pm our first night.

The next day went to the beach to do paragliding (just me!) and then off to Koh-lan Island.

That's meeee!!!!! It was amazing. Tapi sekejap sangat laaaa....

See how clear the waters are. Beautiful!!!!

Mammoths still exists in Thailand!!!!!! Run, my love, ruuuuunnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That night we had a 2 hour body massage which left me snoring (he said) that turned our bodies to jelly. Seriously. We had our massage at this kinda dodgy place from 9 pm to 11 pm but it was worth it :)
Oh, and Thailand has soooooooo many 7-Eleven!!!! Why is that???? Thats why its so easy for us to but more coffee (Yantie, Nescafe latte diorang jauh lagi sedap kan?)

Anyway this is the pic of our room in Bangkok, Myhotel. It was simple enough but nice.

Our tour guide, John and our driver, 'Schumacher'. Nice people!!

Now, our next agenda was the all important SHOPPING. Saturday morning; Chatuchak here we come!!!!! It boasts 1,500 stalls and I believe them!!

One of the many entrances to the market.

My 1st buy; leather handbag dan terus pakai. Hehe :) LOVES it!!!!!

Stop by to eat coconut ice cream in coconut shells with coconut water! Yummmyyyy!!!!

Kesimpulannya, saya berjaya membeli hanya 11 baju, 8 handbeg, pelbagai pashmina dan souvenirs!!!! Kesian laki saya sebab stalls baju, 95% adalah barang wanita. Saya mahu datang lagiiiii!!!!!! Malam tu jalan2 pegi MBK, stalls2 yang dekat dgn hotel tu and jalan2 naik tuk tuk. Penat tapi seronok!!!!

The next day, we went to Chatuchak market for 1 hour ++ je. Then our final lunch in Thailand was at this Arabian restaurant who serves 'Lamp Leg'. Hahahaha. Lupa nak amik gambar menu tu. Anyway, the food was super nice but it took them an awful long time to serve!

We arrived at the airport around 5 ish. Our flight was at 8.20 pm. We had more coffees and our intention of sneaking in a few bottles of Nescafe latte were forgotten when we got distracted by the great shops there.

So thats our Thailand trip. It was great. I love it!!!!

Here's to more to come!!!!!!

stopinsultingmyintelligence*

2010-07-07T19:29:00.003+08:00

If you’re a die hard fan of Malay movies or series, read no more.
If you just like to get mad on purpose, regardless of my warning, I rest my case.

If you happen to be one of my close friends, and unfortunately shared an experience of watching a Malay movie or drama with me, then you know how bad I can be. Um and Su being my victims where they have been exposed to my love-hate relationship with drama Melayu. When I say love-hate, I meant that I hate it and I love hating it.

I am commenting as a viewer, not as an expert or a certified entertainment critique.

I just cant stand filem atau drama Melayu. Hate me all you want but really, they insult my intelligence in a way that any intelligence can be insulted. And believe me, I’m not even a genius and yet I feel deeply insulted. I can never figure out WHY? Whats our excuse for not producing really GOOD movies? The kind of movie that has substance, keep you on your toes, original, GOOD acting (although I have seen some improvements in this department), GOOD storyline with a strong sense of reality.

Drama Melayu? Even worse. I just have no words to describe the embarrassment I feel when I am forced to watch it. Believe me, I never voluntarily watch it. You might ask, if I loathe it so much, why do I still watch it? Well, its like watching someone making a fool of themselves or someone falls down in the middle of the stage; its embarrassing to watch, but you cant help it. From the bad acting, to the AWFUL scripts (half of the time, people in real life does not say stuff like ‘ Namun, kita perlu lakukan sesuatu, Joe’ , the unrealistic make-up di mana semua pelakon pakai make up macam nak menari chacha (yes, I should know) walaupun dgn baju kelawar dgn motif untuk menunjukkan keadaan santai and of kos, make up character yg jahat perlulah over sikit kan. Dalam drama Melayu, orang jahat masih gelak sorang2 bila merancang sesuatu yg jahat (walaupun bukan drama komedi) . Aku tak faham.

Dan situasi2 harian yg menyebabkan saya terfikir 'Adakah pelakon dan pembuat cerita Melayu datang dari planet lain?'. Ada scene kononnya syarikat bernilai jutaan ringgit tengah buat board meeting, tapi satu haram pun ahli mesyuarat tak bawak kertas, fail atau pen. Datang lenggang kangkung je. Apakah? Again, NOT A COMEDY!!! (Erm, kalau komedi pun takde benda yang kelakar pun kalau ahli mesyuarat tak bawak ape2)

And the storyline jarang ada isi tersirat yang boleh buat penonton berfikir. Its too shallow and predictable. When its not predictable, its just whack and doesn’t make sense.

Lepas tu agak ambitious nak buat filem2 yang guna special effects ni when cerita yang menggambarkan keadaan biasa pun takleh nak master lagi. You might think I’m being harsh here tapi cerita ‘hantu’ Malaysia never fails to make me laugh. Sgt comical. So cheesy and tak real langsung! Seriously! Malunye!

Cerita komedi, tak kelakar. Full stop. Lawak bodoh.

Cerita Melayu yg saya pernah tgk di cinema adalah 2 sahaja iaitu Puteri Impian (time tu zaman sekolah) dan Buli by Afdlin Shauki. Not bad lah tapi still…….. Kalau kat tv, setakat Puteri Gunung Ledang (because of the hype), Sepet dan Gubra. Eh lupa pulak aku pernah tgk cerita2 Yusoff Haslam yg balik2 guna Awie, Ziana Zain & Erra Fazira tu. Oh, tiba2 malu jap hahahaha. Zaman sekolah OKAY!!! To me, Sepet and Gubra was a nice effort but they tried too hard making it artsy. It gets a bit slow. As I said, these are my opinions. Its like we have these 2 groups of entertainers; one who relentlessly making stupid, intelligence-insulting movies like Mami Jarum, Senario The Movie which makes millions and the other group producing art films, consists of good looking actors (where they cast the same actors over and over again) with a so-so acting skills. It’s a step in the right direction but the step is too damn small when we see our neighbors, Indonesia and Thailand can produce movies far, far supreme than ours.

Again, saya bukanlah manusia yg kreatif tapi dari sudut seorang viewer yang kebijaksanaannya dan kesabarannya amat tercabar bila menonton cerita Melayu, ianya amat menghampakan saya. Orang akan cakap, 'Kalau pandai sangat, buatlah sendiri. Tgk best, tak best'. Erm, no. Saya bukan pembuat filem and I dont have to be one to know whats good and whats not.

The best Malay movies, to me, still those zaman P. Ramlee dulu. I still can watch it over and over again. Yes, ada yg sgt cliché tapi the acting was great. Dan unsur2 suspens still ada. Nangis tau tgk Ibu Mertuaku (Kassim selamat, ooh kassim selamat).

I really want to support the local film industry but so far, they haven’t given me a reason to cheer.

Sigh.

theinterview*

2010-06-23T13:11:00.002+08:00

Actually, my 4th year as a blogger should be mentioned on the 15th of June but it went by completely unbeknown to me so here I am, writing about it a week's late.

Naturally, I had to do an interview about myself.
Interviewed by me.

Q : Why did you start blogging?

A : I started because I was so damn bored in SIRIM. I blogged while waiting for my DNA samples to clone itself or incubating something into something. I had a lot of time waiting and I've been reading other people's blog, critically and with much fascination and snickering.

Q : Why do you like blogging?

A : Obviously I must at least LIKE, if not LOVE (love is a too strong word), blogging or why else should I be doing it. If you know me, you'd know that I love to express myself (yes, using the word love here is actually under rated). I like to express my every thought and opinion through my mouth (70%), face expressions (7.5%), my hands (7.5%) (this not only include hand gestures, to show that I have sound communication skills, but also includes the bulk part of slapping, pinching and hurting other people) and also through writing (15%). I had to actually take out the calculator to count these percentages. Hahahaha..

Q : Who is your target audience?

A : Why DO I make up all these questions and then try to answer them? Hahaha. No one is targetted. I only write because I want to. I think only my friends read them anyway. Why would anyone who dont know me would be interested whether I find John Mayer is sexy or not (yes, by the way, I do) or the endless crap I have jumbled (and trying to untangle) in my head? Why would they resort to such thing?

Q : Do you try to make yourself sound intelligent when blogging?

A : Yes. Why would anyone want to sound stupid?

Q : How long will you continue blogging?

A : Hopefully for a long time. Even when it goes out of fashion, even when I am laughed at for being so technologically-challenged, I will continue to blog like nobody's business.

:)

whenmarriageimitatesasitcom

2010-06-06T22:24:00.007+08:00

So, my husband has left me.
To go back to Kuching la!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sob*sob*

And after spending 10 days with hin, which is a BIG deal considering we've been married for almost 8 months but in total have probably spend time together for 2 months, we have made a rough conclusion of our relationship.

Our role in our marriage somewhat a mirror image of a famous sitcom on telly. Minus the extremely annoying, dominating mother-in-law (thank god), good-for-nothing but sarcastically funny father in law and the needy bro-in-law.

We are actually Raymond and Debra Barone : the Malaysian experience.

Seriously, its not even funny (sikit je la kelakar pun).

Meet my husband; Raymond Barone @ Syazwan

Why?

- He's really blur and sengal, silly etc

- Selalu nak fikir solution yang senang tapi sebenarnya outcome dia sgt sengal

- Tak pandai cover kalau dah buat silap @ menjawab balik kalau dah kena kantoi

- Loveable in a silly kinda way

- Selalu CUBA nak manipulate wife tapi selalu tidak berjaya

This is me @ Debra Barone

Why?

- Saya adalah sgt tegas dan agak sarkastik

- Selalu buat muka bila si suami membuat aksi sengal

- Boleh dianggap sebagai perempuan yang garang

- Kadang2 cuba juga nak mengalah supaya si suami nampak macam hero keluarga tapi last2 tak tahan dan akhirnya akan membebel juga

- Sentiasa mempertikaikan kebolehan suami saya. Macam kalau dia berjaya membuat perkara yang hebat, biasanya saya akan fikir, 'Beeetuuulll keeeee niiiii' hahaha

So far we are having fun with our differences.
Only time will tell whether he can put up with my need to be always right and to make all the decisions while I try to accomodate his less than impressive antiques.

:)

taipingtripupdate

2010-06-03T17:07:00.008+08:00

Hello, peeepss! Wah, dah lama tak update. Sekarang ni ada masa sikit sebab bos saya baru je balik. Starting next week, saya ketiadaan bos selama 2 minggu!!!!!!

Wooooot!!!!!!! Mau cuti juga. Tidak akan ku lepaskan golden opportunity ini :)
(Sommersoults, cartwheels, backflips, roly polys)

Anyway, last weekend my hubby balik sini for 10 days :)

(Fireworks, please!)

(Why am I hyper?)

Wesak day, me, him, um, mila & min, only part of the Geng!, went to Taiping to celebrate Cheche's journey from naivehood to naivehusbandhood. Haha. Tayar golek kul 3.30ptg. Mau tau apa yg menarik? Cik Min telah menyediakan kudapan petang on-the-go yang hebat: berpuloh-puloh homemade popiah with kuah cili thai yang sedap! Dengan hujannya travel, tinggal takde kopi panas je. Suami saya pun sambil drive makan popiah disuap, sampai dagu2 pun tumpah cili. Oooopsss...

Apa yg saya belajar sepanjang perjalanan:

1) Sejarah boyband di Malaysia yang telah menggelapkan industri muzik negara. Saya tak tahu menahu kerana saya berada di UK maka terpelihara la kesucian saya. Apakah itu Scoin, Spoon dan banyak lagi la ASS yang lain;

2) Rupanya Mila dilahirkan pada awal 50-an dan merupakan Um punya (downgrade) version of Edward Cullen. Hahahaha;

3) Mila suka perempuan yg ganas iaitu Um dan Um suka laki yang macam bapak orang iaitu Mila. Perfect match!

Che telah berbaik hati utk menyediakan penginapan utk kitorang @ Taiping Golf Resort. Not bad lah the place. Walaupun aku dapat bilik dua katil single.........tapi xpe. kami inovatif. hahahaha.

Malam tu pelahap char kuey teow & sotong kangkung & yong tau foo. Ingat sempat makan Doli tapi bukan setakat tak sempat, memang tutup hari Jumaat daaaa... Saya ingin menyuarakan perasaan malau apabila kami; iaitu saya, Um dan Min bersungguh beli barang kat Watson, 7-E & apa ek, tak ingat ada lagi satu kedai. Boleh tak sibuk2 beli barang kat situ. Huhu.

The next day, tanpa mandi dan eau-la-naturel, selepas bfast menu yang sama sejak 2007 dan mungkin di zaman 50-an juga (Mila?), kitorang cari sungai/air terjun utk diserbu.

Pit-stop pertama; walaupun mendapat persetujuan dari kaum adam; kami wanita sekeras-kerasnya menolak sungai itu. Di belakang rumah orang, okay? Mesti ada hasil belakang orang juge, huhu. Aku tau mila & laki aku setuju sebab malas nak cari tempat lain. Kaum hawa menang, uncontested!

Pit-stop kedua; yes, apa nama tempat dia? Burmese Pool. Haaaa... now we're talking. Dah lama tak mandi sungai macam ni, pagi2 pulak tu. S..s..se..seee jukkkkk.. Pastu kotorang jumpa our own mini air terjun yang ada mini gua di sebalik air terjun tu. Best! Had fun!

Best mini-waterfall ni :) massage badan

Tenang je. Jauh daripada e-mel, faks, keje, blazer dan segalanya.

Posing chumel dari couple yang chumel.

Habis mandi, balik hotel, siap untuk kenduri pulak. Laki aku tak puas lagi, sambung kat swimming pool pulak :)

Tema Geng!: Merah. Mila pakai hitam. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silau matahari hence the mata sepet

Gambar promosi boyband terbaru Malaysia (laku ke?)

Posing wajib di depan papan tanda hotel

Habis kenduri, dapat jugak makan kat Doli. Walaupun rasa kuey teow tu tak la sehebat mana, I would have prefer it to be lebih berkuah dan basah serta pedas sikit je lagi, tapi memang generous gile la dgn udang dan kerang. Yum! Puas hati dan niat tercapai.

Balik sampai kul 7 lebih, malam tu ada midnight movie kat alamanda tgk Robin Hood (Best!) dan tiket movie untuk the next day pun dah beli for Prince of Persia: Sands of time (Cheesy, cliche, bad accent, boooo)

So, thats all for our trip this time. Apa kata next pegi sabah, Geng!? :)

(chanting)

Sabah, Sabah, Sabah!

smallchanges*

2010-05-23T21:40:00.003+08:00

I'm trying to handle my almost 5kg weight gain in stride.
Changes, people, CHANGES!
(ceh, this is me after scoffing down a chocolate pavlova selepas mempelahap di kenduri kawen OK?Complete with nasi & rendang + jelly kelapa + cendol)

What small changes will I do starting this week onwards?

1) Buying Quaker Oat and Cornflakes + fresh milk and put them at the office. Eat those for breakfast instead of nasi lemak;

2) Do 30 sit ups, 20 scotjumps and 50 starjumps 1st thing in the morning and last thing at night (woi, aku cuba buat malam tadi, dah tercungap2 and kaki dah lembik. gile dah tak fit okay? huhu);

3) Eat more fresh fruits and veggies!!!!

Itu saje yang saya berani buat. I'm not trying to lose a lot of weight. Cuma need a wake up call bahawa metabolic rate saya dah menjunam turun and I havent been excercising since DPA.Everyday balik dari keje makan depan tv dan tido.

My motivation: to be able to squeeze into my jeans again.

Berusahalah!!!!!

terimakasihhafizsilaulanglagi

2010-05-12T23:29:00.002+08:00

Terima kasih, Hafiz Hasyim!

Ye, saya telah mengutuk anda secara terang-terangan di blog saya ini (May,20,2008). Kerana saya sgt geram dgn anda yg sebenarnya pandai main tapi.....

Malam tadi, anda sgt rajin mengejar shuttlecock. Sgt rajin. Anda buat smash2 yg bagus belaka sehingga 274km/h. Pandai main net.

Boleh pun.

Bukan saya tidak berterima kasih dgn pemain yang lain; Chong Wei, Choong Han, the beregu's that I cant seem to remember their names right now except for Zakry and Soo. Terima kasih.

Cuma Hafiz ni manja sikit.

Main badminton pun dengan penuh gemalai.

Mungkin pandai menari.

Sila ulangi lagi ye, Hafiz.

ifthepantsdontfit................blamethepants

2010-05-12T15:47:00.003+08:00

I thought it was just an urban legend.
Something that people say, out of spite.
Sebab dengki atau tak boleh tengok orang senang.

Is it true?

That married people automatically gain weight?

Because I *bloody* am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, bukan niat untuk berdramatis tapi I never put on weight. NEVER! Just the occasional 1-2 kg fluctuate sebab bulan puasa and raya. I have always been able to eat anything I want, as much as I want without paying any consequences. I have always thought THAT was my super power (alongside menjawab@ lidah tajam).My weight have been the same since uni..........until now.

I actually dont care about the numbers on the scale, but what I do care is that last weekend I tried on my pants and 2 of my jeans dont fit. It only went through half of thighs. HALF?!!!!! WHAT?
All my life I've been wearing 24" pants (well, not ALL my life literally, since being born with a 24" waist is just ridiculous) but now, I am spilling out of my pants. And 1 of my baju kebaya, the one I made when I was in uni; I cant fit in it anymore. (Baju tu saya dah siap gosok dan konfiden ingat boleh pakai, pastu sebab takde choice pakai jugak. Kat ofis, pakai blazer tapi butang kebaya bukak ok!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) But I can still wear my 1st ever bought Levi's jeans when I was 20 years old so some pride was salvaged.

So, do I have to go up a size? What about my baju kurung moden dan kebaya I yg ber railing-railing ituuuuuu? Perlukah saya kurang makan? Oh, DIET?????? Saya tak pernah kawal cara saya makan. Food is my pleasure!!!!!

To add salt to injury, my husband is getting thinner.
Bah!

letsgeteducated

2010-04-27T22:21:00.003+08:00

Although I'm learning a lot every single day, and there's a zillion more things out there that I can learn, I still have this thirst for knowledge. I have been waiting for the right moment. The right moment to continue my education.

My masters.

But things (or excuses) have kept me from achieving this.

My excuses through out the years.

In 2004 : I havent decided to whether or not stay in the path of research (My 1st degree was in Biotechnology and I was working in Sirim). I was doing exactly what I learned, which was quite a feat, since I saw my coursemates ended up working in banks (wth?basicly she learnt how to modify genetics for nothing, as will I do in the next few years). Although biotechnology does turn me on (intellectually), the actual job of reseach bores me to death. My communication skills are dying. Nothing those bacterias or fungus do can ever amuse me, compared to, say, human beings. I knew if I continue my Masters in this line of work, I will be stuck. Why invest in something that I know I'm going to hate working for later?

In 2006 : Went into the government, doing completely different from my degree. I have never had so much fun working in an office!!! Working with pens, papers, staplers, paper clips and humans instead of labcoats, gloves, face masks and unresponsive bacterias! Nak sambung belajar, mana boleh lagi. Well, boleh je sebenarnya tapi perlu belajar untuk bekerja terlebih dahulu.

In 2008 : Time passes by, learning new things, have NO time to even think about continue my studies. The thought of doing my Masters part time/PJJ completely vanish once I was posted to my position now.

In 2009 : I got married whereby I not only have to think about myself, but also about my husband. Its a decision for 2 people to make. And he's still in Sarawak. And orang asyik cakap, rugi sambung sekarang, tunggu naik 44 dulu. Kalau betul rumour kenaikan pangkat our batch is slower than watching a nail grow, then it would ages still.

In 2010 : Regretting and bash head against the sofa (much softer but still an act of self punishment).

I need to LEARN.
Huhu

didithepre-quel

2010-04-22T10:56:00.003+08:00

Suddenly I am feeling nostalgic about my childhood. While thinking about how I have evolved into the person that I am now, I am suddenly thinking, I am pushing 30! 30!!!!! Let alone imagining myself to be 42 years old, or 63 years old or GASP, being a grandma!!!! Its not that I am afraid of growing old; I just never thought of myself as OLD!!! Believe me, I am not prepared at all. Somehow, all this reminiscing about my innocent years got me think of my future golden years!

This is the story of how I grew up to be me.

1) I was born 10 days later than my due date. At the Assunta Hospital, 12.17 am. Weighting 2.975kg.1st child for my 24 year old mum.

2) My mum always says that out of all her children, I am the easiest to feed (since I eat anything and everything shoved in my face. No changes there!), the noisiest (I bawl at every chance) and has the biggest head (physically). Yes, I still have an unusual large head which makes it hard for me to carry off the pixie hair cut like Winona Ryder or Audrey Toutou. Booooooooooo…………I need long hair in order not to scare other people (or myself) and to divert their attention from my alien-shaped head.

3) Me and my sister is only a year apart and anything my mum ask me to do, I will only do it if my sister has to do it too. Like start praying or start fasting; because in my mind, why should I do it first? Nina (my sis) has to do it as well. Oleh itu, saya mula puasa time saya darjah 1, while my sis masa tadika. Heeeeheee

4) Saya sangat selfish. Kalau bday org lain, saya kena dapat hadiah jugak. Or I will throw a tantrum. Padahal adik saya tak pun buat macam tu. Walau pun buruk perangai, tapi dapat jugak hadiah kan? :)

5) Masa saya kecik, saya tidak apply kan falsafah ‘yang tua kena mengalah’. To me, ‘yang tua lah ada power maka yang muda kena ikut kata’. Sape la yang buat statement tu, mesti org bongsu kan? Kalau mak saya belikan towel; 1 warna pink dan 1 warna purple, walaupun Nina nangis2 nak yg pink, aku tidak peduli sebab aku nak jugak yg pink. Maka kenalah mak aku pujuk Nina yg tersedu2 nak warna pink. Sukses!!! Hahaha

6) Saya tak boleh tido kalau tutup pintu rapat. Kena buka sikit sebab takut tak cukup udara utk bernafas. Tak percaya ruang bawah pintu tu boleh bawak masuk stok udara masa tido. Hahaha

7) Saya pernah curi duit mak saya utk beli cikedis dan rubber. Tak tau lah, jahat tak? Time tu macam rasa takde la big deal sgt sebab jealous tgk member lain ada banyak koleksi rubber warna warni, ada yg siap ada bau lagi. Erm, kena mintak maaf kat mama la macam ni. Huhu...

8) Saya start gosok baju mak saya time saya darjah 2. Because I really enjoy it, plus my mum paid me. RM1 sepasang, tudung 50 sen. It was great because I would do it for free tapi of kos la mak saya tak sampai hati J Mak saya cikgu so baju kurung senang je nak gosok. So saya dah lama berkecimpung dalam me-matching tudung dgn baju ni.

9) Saya kagum dgn sorang budak perempuan kat sekolah rendah aku dulu. Bila kena beratur je time tengah hari sebelum masuk kelas, mesti dia pengsan. Kalau time terik la. Jadi dia tak yah lah beratur. Aku punya lah lama plan nak buat tipu2 pengsan, tapi takut terhantuk kepala kat jalan tar tu. Macam2 aku try imagine, cara2 nak execute. Tapi tak berjaya sebab takut kantoi aku menjerit.

10) Saya sgt tak peduli pasal belajar. Setiap tahun aku rileks je dapat no 20 ke, no berapa ke tapi Nina dapat no 2 pun melalak macam nak mati. Tiap2 tahun dia dapat top 3. Aku lebih concentrate kpd kumpulan girl band aku ‘Puteri Ayu’ di mana akulah penyanyi utama. Lagu ‘Darah Muda’ yang telah dinyanyikan secara acapella telah menjadi titik mula populariti aku di sekolah rendah. Cewaaahhhh. Namun kumpulan tersebut terpaksa dibubarkan bila saya pegi ke UK time darjah 5. Ye lah, cif dah xde. Sekarang aku jadi cif lain pulak.

11) Kalau saya gaduh dgn mak saya, saya akan paksa tentera saya (Nina & Ajin) supaya memberontak sekali. Sebagai contoh, mak saya marah saya. Jadi utk membalas dendam, saya takmo puasa hari tu. Maka saya paksa Nina & Ajin spy ponteng sekali. Makan stok kuih raya dalam stor. Yg bodohnya, biasanya kalau puase, kitorang bertiga akan berdramatis dan lemau sepanjang hari. Tapi hari tu siap boleh lari2 dalam rumah, main nyorok2 bagai. Jadi kitorang kena kantoi. Aku la paling teruk kena sebagai cif ponteng pose.Kena cubit sampai lebam woooooo oleh cikgu zakiah.

Have I changed much from way back then?
Yes.

Saya dah tak curi duit mak saya daaahhhhh!!!!!!!!

skins

2010-04-12T17:33:00.000+08:00

I have always *LOVED* british humour. Really. Its the best humour in the world. Haha.

To summarise it up:

Dark. Sarcasm. Filthy. Raw. Indie. Nudity.

I have always find American tv series to be abit tacky, superficial and over the top. Real life just aint like that. With British soaps, you see how in real life, nothing is perfect. From the awful clothes, dodgy curtains, bad teeth. Its all real. With British series, usually its not about fitting in and blending in with the trend like in the US; they're really about standing out, being different and original.

I realise that this series ia already into its 4th or 5th season.
And right now I'm addicted to it.

Yes, I'm a bit old to watch teens go at it, dealing with adolescent problems but what captivates me is their way of life, not the story line so much. And the great cast and characters. Puas aku fikir, kenapa la the lead character seems so familiar. Rupanya dia tu (Nicholas Hoult yang bawak character Tony, the hot creature in Skins), the little boy dalam cite 'About a boy' dgn Hugh Grant. Wah, sgt chumell okay?! Sekarang adalah sangat hot!!

Bukan lah sebagai satu tarikan tetapi as usual, cerita British mempunyai sgt banyak aksi nudity, khasnye lelaki. I think semua cast punya backside dapat spotlight, including Dev Patel (slumdog millionaire guy who's dating freida pinto).

Anyway, thank god I wasnt really well into my teenage years when I was in the UK. I left when I was almost 15 so the pressure of drinking, sex and drugs was not yet there although there were early bloomers in my school. And believe me, the area that I lived in was an almostkampung area, not a big city of any sort so I cant really imagine how a teenage life in say, London.

Since I'm reminiscing, I remembered how I hate being the different one in school. There was 3 Asian, including me. One chinese: goody two shoes, sangat bijak pandai dan skema dan a Pakistani boy dan jugak sangat skema. Bila aku masuk, diorang ingat aku pun skema, pendiam dan timid mcm yang lain. Their potrayal of the typical Asian.

Hahaha, oh tidak. Aku dah tusyen 1 tahun dalam English sebelum pegi sana okay jadi of kos la want to show off my bakat speaking. Diorang terperanjat bila dgr aku membebel dan bebel dan bebel. Timid? Jauh sekali. Orang ingat diorang boleh buli aku? Buli2 di sekolah dulu, sambil lalu sebelah aku, buat bunyi kungfu la, tarik mata ke tepi supaya sepet la. Maklum lah, ingat aku ni budak cina, masa tu Malaysia tak glamour lagi. So bila aku cakap aku from Malaysia, diorang ingat aku dari planet mana. Huhu.

Jadi, untuk protect reputasi warga Malaysia bahawa mereka bukan bangsa yang boleh dibuli, maka setiap kali diorang buat bunyi kunfu atau tarik mata, aku akan tunjuk jari hantu aku sambil mencarut semua perkataan mencarut yang aku tau. Jadi bila saya buat begitu sebanyak 20-57 kali, diorang pun bosan kut jadi, sukses!!!!!

Saya bukan mangsa buli!!!!!!

Circle of friends saya pun, walaupun kecik, tapi pedas juga macam saya. Tapi yang sgt kelakar, aku sgt rapat dgn this guy from Venuzuela, nama dia Henry Acosta. Aku boleh baik dgn dia sebab aku budak baru, dia masuk lepas aku. Sgt lah chumel, tapi muka penuh jerawat. We became close friends tapi dia jadi mangsa bully sebab dia adalah cocky dan terlalu confident. Lagi satu, betul lah macam kat Glee, oleh kerana dia sgt minat dalam bidang musik, teater dan koir, dia menjadi target yang senang. Walaupun telah dibelasah beberapa kali (org kat sana suke belasah org. pandang kerek sikit je, habis la kena belasah lepas sekolah), sampai kena cuti seminggu (ngeri tgk wooo) tapi dia masih dgn cara dia.

Anyway, tiba2 time summer break, hormon dia jadi balance dan semua jerawat dia hilang dan transform menjadi lelaki kacak yang menjadi pujaan ramai pompuan yg sebelum ni pernah kutuk dia dgn statement 'there's more zits on ur face than there is stars in the sky'. Jahatkan?!!!!

Haha, tapi, oh, dia adalah best fren aku. Eat your heart out girls. Lunch lepak rumah dia. Dia kan nyanyi lagu2 jiwang yg dia tulis utk aku. Utk testing jek sebab walaupun dia agak hot, he was just a friend to me. Dan aku tau dia ada crush dgn sorang pompuan ni yg aku sgt approve. (hehe, macam lah memerlukan approval aku). Pompuan tu bukan gengster (tipikal pakai eye liner dgn sgt banyak, pakai bomber jaket supaya nampak ganas) atau bukan pompuan gedik (yg suka pakai skirt pendek dan perasan hot stuff. eh, emo pulak statement aku ni). Aku pulak ada crush dgn seorang lelaki chumel bernama Mark Smith. Beliau mempunyai rambut warna purple.

Kenapa aku rasa macam dah lari tajuk asal.
Anyway, right now tgh tengok second season. Loves it.
Tapi, hasil google-lan, season 3 dah tukar cast. Tak bestnye sebab I have fallen in love with the characters :(

I have fallen in love with the wonky-smiled, up-turned eyebrowed Nicholas Hoult.

Ohhhh...*sighhhhh*

justdont*

2010-04-01T13:02:00.002+08:00

I know I have already done a post on my pet peeves before, but this entry is more on the donts; more of a public service really and to evaluate oneself dignity if they break this 'the-donts' list.

1) I dont care how buzy, lazy, or basicly, how u dont care about what people think about u but PLEASE, do NOT go out of the house wearing pijamas. Even at night. Or even worse in the mornings because, of course it wouldnt make sense if u have the energy to shower 1st and then purposely lazy enough to put on ur baju kelawar or 1-size-fits-all night t-shirts with teddybears back on. Seriously. Dah la selekeh, bagitau semua org yang u tak mandi lagi, rambut kusut, nak hantar anak pg sekolah. Come on!! Saya marah dgn perempuan seperti itu. Anda membawa nama suami anda tau, dan people shouldnt know what u wear to bed!!!!

2) Perempuan yang cukup jahat dan lelaki yang sanggup dibuli; iaitu lelaki yang tolong pakaikan handbeg pasangannya. Oh, ini bnyk kali saya nampak. Ok, maybe some of u think its not a big deal, but selalu tgk perempuan tu tak bawak apa pun tapi handbag dia kat bahu lelakinya. Kenapa? Might as well letak leash kat leher dia terus. Aksi simple seperti ini seolah-olah menunjukkan how the relationship is. Lelaki = tak macho (i dont even care if he wants to flaunt his feminine side),menurut perintah, akur. Perempuan = wear the pants, bossy, queen control.
Its a bit harsh, but I dont like.

3) Lelaki yang suka amik gambar sendiri. Sorang2. Banyak2. Aku tak faham. Mungkin org akan ingat I'm being double standard here sebab I have nothing against perempuan yang buat benda yg sama, but still a bit vain la, tapi kalau a guy, its a whole different thing. I dont, know. Macam......pelik. Kalau gambar sorang2 + scenery + org lain amik, then in my world, its normal. Tapi kalau amik sendiri..........................I dont like..............sorry............

4) Religious people who thinks they are better than anyone else because they are religious. Its not for you to judge who's better than who. Yes, u can guide, help, intervene, advice; but not with an air of grandeur and be-littleling others. I am not attacking the saints and defending the sinners but even though there is a clear line between what halal and haram in Islam, how they were brought up, the environment, the people around them do play a massive role on their acceptance of do's and dont's in Islam. It shouldnt be an excuse but there we are.

5) Transparent bra straps. I dont know. It just dont appeal to me. You cant fool people because you can still see it. Same as jelly shoes. But jelly shoes serves more purpose and I guess it IS kinda cute. But not transparent bra straps. Nope. Just go strapless.

6) Ni macam out of topic tapi : orang yg tak bayar PTPTN! Ye, kos pentadbiran tinggi, ye macam2 alasan tapi adilkah kepada generasi akan datang? saya dah bebel kepada suami saya pagi ni jadi saya menyeru, sesiapa yg ada hutang PTPTN, bayar lah sikit2. Hutang PTPTN sekarang dah sampai RM30 bilion. Sape yg tak settlekan, xleh pegi oversea, seperti laki Pinat. Takkan nak tunggu sampai loan kereta, loan rumah pun diorang hold selagi tak start bayar. Blacklist sana sini. Dulu tau pun nak guna duit time belajar. Sekarang dah keje, buat2 tak tau. Sila bayar!

bettergenes?

2010-03-30T17:10:00.002+08:00

I have observed that todays kids @ teenagers are much better looking than during my hey day (10-15 years ago). OMG!!!!!!! lamanya..... Tua nnyeeee rasa.

Anyway, I do not stalk little kids or hormonal teenagers during my spare time; its just that my house in Shah Alam is directly opposite sekolah rendah and sekolah menengah maka selalulah saya nampak2 kanak2 atau remaja2 berkeliaran.

And I must say, they are mostly good looking. Seriously. How can these kids study when they have seriously hot looking guys and gorgeous girls practically invading the whole school? How? Saya masa sekolah dulu sangat susah jugak nak concentrate kat sekolah kerana amat lah self concious dgn jejaka2 di sekolah dulu. Jalan perlu ayu etc2. Hahaha. Tapi zaman sekolah I dulu, tidak dilengkapi pun dengan jejaka2 hot-hot yang sekarang berkeliaran bebas di perkarangan rumah saya (Ye, saya maklum saya dah kawen dan post ini tidak sama sekali mencurangi suami saya yang juga hot dalam kategorinya yang tersendiri).

So, adakah the gene pool sekarang amat hebat sehingga berjaya menghasilkan off-spring2 yang gorgeous2 belaka? Ye, rupa sahaja , belum perangai lagi. I know, I know. Rupa dah lawa, nama pun semua dah trendy and very the moden, ala2 nama org putih sekarang. Nama Daniel tu dah jadi macam Farid la zaman dulu iaitu sgt common. Pegi sekolah pun amat bergaya; dgn rambutnya, kasut sekolah, beg, handphones. Bagaimanakah zaman anak aku nanti (yang aku calculate kalau aku dapat anak by next year (Amin!!), akan mula menghadiri sekolah menengah pada tahun 2023/2024) Oittt, kalau ikut movie dulu2, zaman 80 an punya movie, tahun 2020 ke atas ni dunia telah hancur dijajah oleh robot dan machine yang telah tidak mendengar cakap manusia lagi dah. Ohhhhhhh........ Okay, sudah lari dari topik.

So yeah, warga Malaysia semakin lawa.
Sekian observation shallow saya kali ini.

ungrateful

2010-03-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

Saya paling tak suka manusia yang tidak menghargai apa yang Tuhan beri. Selalu sangat nampak orang yang xde ape2 sgt tapi happy je tapi yang kaya sampai duit beli benda merapu-rapu asyik komplen duit x cukup.

We cant say org yang senang puas hati dgn what they have adalah tidak ambitious. (Maaf BI/malay sgt dicampur adukkan dalam post ini).

Sebagai contoh; saya x pernah kisah dgn kereta apa saya pakai. Ia tidak melambangkan kejayaan saya, ia hanya sesuatu yang dapat mencapai matlamat untuk bergerak dari point A ke point B. The idea of paying RM1K per month with my current salary for a car seems ridiculous to me when you can pay RM400++ for my Kelisa. Bila dah gaji besar, its a different story kut tapi in my case, I dont care pakai my Kelisa or other small cars for the rest of my life (woi, beraninya aku buat statement nih. xpe, kalau aku terbeli BMW ke, aku kena sorok la itu kereta).

Ada je org yg gaji kecil tapi bila dapat gaji tu, mak aiii punya seronok, pamper diri sendiri, shopping mcm tak ingat dunia. And nampak banyak hasil dia beli.

An opposite example:

32 year old, owns a Rexton and Merc. Keeps complaining tak cukup duit la, susah nak hidup lah. HELLO? Quality of life is by choice. Yes, memang la hak masing2 nak guna duit utk apa tapi to me, u should spend and buy things according to ur income, not the other way round. Otherwise, u'll never have enough. I look at this person dan berhujah sampai nak berdarah telinga dia. Why does 'that person' has to buy 2 huge cars, buying a house in the middle of KL (tempat elit katanya), eat at fancy hotels (when we all know the food is not THAT great), then has the nerve to complaint about not having enough money? What? Why? Saya sungguh tak faham.

*Frowns*

Auf Wiedersehen, Amin!

2010-03-12T17:10:00.006+08:00

Last Tuesday, we watched as another one of our (already shrinking) clan goes abroad, yet again. (cewah, bunyi macam dah banyak kali je tapi sebenarnya baru yg kedua).

Our fourth sibling, 19 year old Amin, has gone off to do his degree in engineering, specialising in megatronics (macam transformers punye character jek)(ke memang ye, aku je yg confuse?) Anyway, it was 3 years ago, Azin pegi India buat medic. Now him pulak. Both under MARA's scholarship. Tinggal Ammar je, the only man (but not quite yet a man,although he IS wearing man-sized pants these days.haha) of the family left.

The weekend before we had a massive lunch at Sushi King with the whole family (except ayah) and here's some pics from the deed. My hubby and bro dgn tak malunye melompat macam beruk kat depan fountain alamanda tu. Haha.

Laki aku yg paling x senonoh sekali tu. Melompat setelah perut penuh dgn bento, sushi dan mcm2 lagi.

Anyway, our family have never been the nangis2 type, or emotional type so it was again, a light hearted goodbye at the airport. But trust me, what frightens me the most is I hope he wont change much, as in as a person. I hope he will still be Amin, my younger brother, who is respectful to orang tua, pandai bawa diri, peramah dengan orang dan beradab when he comes for his rare trips back home.

Because to tell you the truth, he turned out completely different from what we expected, mu mum included. When he was younger, he was the rudest, mulut-xde-insuran little brat and sgt pandai menjawab yang rasa macam nak tampar je. Hah. Ingat lagi peperangan berlaku bila gaduh dgn saya dan dia panggil saya b*bi. Oh, ketika itu saya rasa macam 'Who the hell do u think u are?' You see, because our house dont ever use the word aku, engkau dan mencarut memang tidak pernah digunakan. Hanya mama saya je yang mencarut ketika driving. Tu pun dalam bahasa inggeris, y'all.

As the years go by, he turned not only a new leaf, but the whole damn tree (excuse my language). Maybe he started being around people who dont call the sisters b*bi but he grew up to be a gentleman. He mellowed and I guess suprised all of us. He became someone that you could depend on. Isy, aku ni memuji adik sendiri kah? Rasa mual tetiba. Tekak rasa geli.

Maka kesimpulannya, saya amat berharap saya akan berpeluang untuk melawat beliau di sana. Eh, adik saya yang kat India tu pun I x pegi lawat lagi. Aisey. Ingat yg kat Europe je.

Amin, we will miss u!!!!

embracedifferences*

2010-02-24T13:02:00.004+08:00

I've been wanting to write about this for sometime now but something always comes up.

Skin colour.

For one, people always describe me physically according to my (lack of) height and skin colour. "Alah, pendek2 putih2 tu". Thats how people would describe me. Its not an insult so I dont really mind. When I was in the UK, I stand out because of my tan skin; compared to them who has pale, pinkish, full of freckles skin. They were jealous of my tan, freckle-free skin while I though "Oh, gelapnya aku!".

When I got back from there, again, I stood out because of my skin. Puteri lilin. Hantu cina la.
It just never ends.

I remember a conversation I had with a guy. I said something like, 'Lawa la so and so." (So and so tu adalah perempuan yang berkulit gelap) The response I got was, 'Taklah. Kalau dia gelap, cantik macam mana pun, lebih baik tak yah. Better dapat perempuan yang kulit cerah tapi mediocre looking'. Diskriminasinya!!!

Here, everyone wants to be fair. Well culture tu ada, even if its not every individual's preference. But fair skin is considered 'prettier'.

While Westerners, they burn themselves silly to tan their skin. Or pumpkinised themselves by having fake tan/ spray tans. It seems so ridiculous for us Asians.

It also used to really annoy me when people say, 'U putih. Takpelah. Boleh pakai warna apa pun.'
Erm, thats colourism. Everyone can wear any colour. Terang ke, lembut ke.
Of course, some colours enhance different skin tones differently, but I dont understand the idea of constricting yourself to wear certain colours because of your skin colour. Kalu tengok orang Afrika tu, rileks je. Dark skin +bold colours = beautiful.

I hate discriminations of any kind, including man vs woman. Enough already! We're different. Accept it. Embrace it. Deal with it.

Every skin tone is beautiful.

Just wanted to add about the man vs women thing. If you men wants to survive through kuota all your life, go ahead, if it makes you proud.
What you SHOULD be doing is to prove that you CAN be 'as studious as women' (we are not BORN studious, its something that we do to achive good results, go figure!), you CAN get into the government through merit, do not blame us for getting pregnant, because of course, we get there all on our own and not expect us women to lower our standards to soothe your bruised egos.

Basicly, just step up and BE a MAN.

regrets

2010-01-28T11:06:00.004+08:00

I know you shouldnt look into the past and regret things that have happened because you really cant change anything. You only learn things and try not to do it in the future. The damage has been done.

But there are things that I wish I could've done differently. Sometimes the guilt is still there, somehow your decisions back then could really change a person's life. Maybe thats a bit obnoxious, to think so highly of yourself, to think your action plays a major role in a person's life, but I'm sure your life has been affected by other people's actions too.

I'm saying I have done some bad things in my life, broken numerous people's hearts, dissapointed myself endlessly with my dont-give-a-damn attitude. I have lost friends along the way; maybe out of constraints of time, the lame excuse of 'too much work' or people just really do change; out of priorities or just needed a change in scenary.

I havent been spending time with my dearest friends; Natalie, Aty, Yatie, Zul. And I feel like such a bitch. But trying to fit in everyone's schudule is HELL, I'm telling you. Especially Zul, my dearest, dearest friend. Have I told you that I have known him since standard 1, best friends all the way through high school, was his girlfriend for almost a year (my 6th boyfriend, I was his 1st) and still my best friend after everything happened. I love him like a family and I'm grateful Syazwan understands this. (Kan?)

I shouldnt be talking about exes in my blog since I'm already married but there's a reason to this.

I had a long distance relationship when I was in Uni. He was from JB and my junior in matrics. I was the most hated girl in matrics after broken up with Zul because Zul charmed the whole Matrikulasi Melaka (damn!) and I was blamed for being the girl who broke his heart and made him grow his hair to the size of a melon and turned him into a hairy monster.

Anyway, even when I left matrics, my legions of haters were still talking about me, so my BF at the time (tried to) defend my honor and reputation. Bless him. It didnt do any good but the effort was what won my heart.

He was kind, gentle, soft spoken and so feminine. So unlike me. He came to KL just to spend the whole day out with me; belanja makan, tengok movie; and then balik JB. But then he got an offer pegi uni @ sabah. He turned it down without having any back up plan. Because he wanted to be near me. And decided to stay at home. Doing nothing.

Me, I am ambitious. I cannot be with somebody who does not have ambitions. Can you? You must want something for yourself, for your future, even if it is for different reasons. So I left him. Never contacted him since.

And to this day, I wonder how he turns out to be. Did he get a job? Is he married? Maybe he's way better without me in his life. I dont regret leaving him. But I do regret not asking how he was. Way back then. Because as I said, he's a kind person. And he was my friend. And I turned my back when things got rough for him.

I hope he is okay.
I am sorry.

Sorry if this post seems like I'm living in the past.
I'm not.
Its just that everyone have things that they wish they did differently.
Mine is the above.

Whats yours?

petpeeves*

2010-01-15T14:54:00.002+08:00

Okay. Hari ni saya nak bercakap tentang perkara2 kecil yang tersangat lah annoy saya. Sangat irritating. Kecik je. Remeh. Tapi akan menunjukkan kebijaksanaan atau kesengalan seseorang.

- Bila dah beratur panjang di ATM. Lama pun anda dah beratur. Sempatlah saya nyanyi lagu One Republic 'All the right moves' sekali. Time giliran awak, awak baru nak terhegeh2 nak cari wallet, cari kad ATM. Kenapa tak buat time beratur tadi? Orang lain dah stand by dah kad ATM. Takkan tiba2 terkejut, 'Eh, kalau nak keluarkan duit kena ada ATM kad ke?'

- Sama dengan bayar parking. Sampai depan, baru nak cari kad. Jumpa kad, cari wallet pulak. Kalau dah nampak org beratur belakang, step aside dan cari di tepi dulu.

- Bila nak keluar, time nak masukkan tiket. Oh, kenapa perlu simpan tiket tu dalam peti kebal? Dah tercongok kat depan palang tu lah baru nak cari kad tu kat mana.

Saya tau ketiga-tiga perkara di atas adalah basicly perkara yang sama tapi ketiga-tiga situasi itulah saya alami sebentar tadi di Alamanda. Walaupun kalau ikut logik, effect dia hanya beberapa saat sahaja, tapi dalam beberapa saat itu menunjukkan kebijaksanaan atau keprihatinan seseorang. Oh, sangat menguji kesabaranku. Huhu.

Jadi saya harap kawan-kawan saya serta orang tersayang tidak tergolong di antara mereka yang di atas.

Kerana ianya sangat annoying dan menjengkelkan.

drugsbooks&lies*

2010-01-08T17:59:00.006+08:00

Okay. I have just finished reading this book and 'wow!', I thought it was amazing. But I'll get back to the book later but I have just found out that most of the awful things in the book are lies. Thats the thing about non-fiction memoirs; people are attracted to read real life sufferings. Nobody wants to read how glorious or fabulous a person's life is; if you want that, just watch E!. People usually real memoirs for the awful stuff; the truth; the grit; the real deal. And its a damn shame that some people use our humanity and guilability and make millions out of it.

Have you ever read 'The Boy Called It?' by Dave Pelzer?

This is the most depressing and heartwrenching book ever. So far I havent heard of any claims that the book is fabricated plus the writer is active for his cause so I think his story is genuine one. Believe me, after I read this book, for a moment, I really felt like there is no hope for humanity. I cant believe how insanely cruel people can be. And most of all, how a person can survive not only physically, but the will to be a better person than those who have it easy through out their life. When I read these kind of stories or situations that are so horribly inhumane, I would ask myself, would I be THAT strong? Would I have survived it?

I have it if anyone wants to borrow it :)

Back to James Frey.

Lets just assume for a moment that he didnt lie in his book. And that he is what he claims to be: "I am an Alcoholic and I am a drug Addict and I am a Criminal." It revolves around a 23 year old Frey checking into rehab after 10 years of addiction to drugs and alcohol. All the gory details and the side effects of drug addictions; vomitting and shitting blood, erectile dysfunction among others. The lost of taste, the inability to differentiate between reality and imagination. The lost of power of controlling your own life.

If it was written based on a real drug addict, then I finally understood why drug addicts became who they are and why its so hard for them to quit, even though they know its bad for them.

I have often ponder why would anyone be stupid enough to try drugs. Even party pills like ecstasy. Is it worth risking your life for? And any smart people know that once you tried it, you will be hooked. I mean, curiosity can be channelled to so many other things that doesnt damage your health OR your pocket.

I mean, in KL you can see addicts everywhere; usually in a form of beggars on the street and its so heartbreaking to see them. Because once they become addicted, all they care about is the next high, even if it means stealing and killing. Hurting their own family.

I have no idea why I wrote this post. I guess I just felt kinda sad to those people who tried it just to look cool or thinking that taking them would make all their life problem dissapears; well it doesnt. It just made their life much, much worse.

Stay clean.

10days*

2009-12-31T18:06:00.003+08:00

* Oh, this post adalah sangat basi jadi sekiranya anda mudah mual, sila tak payah baca.
Rupanya dah lama ada kat dalam draft. Nak padam, sayang.

10 days was how long Syazwan was here for, starting from 17th to the 27th of December. Waaaaahhh... sangat best okay. Dia telah membawa saya jalan2 dan menjadi house husband yang sangat berjaya (ye, saya seorang isteri yang keji dan hanya mengambil cuti sehari sahaja sepanjang dia berada di Semenanjung!). Tak ber peri kemanusiaan langsung saya tapi saya minta 1 hari cuti tu pun bos saya dah terbeliak matanya. Huhu.

As usual, tugasku adalah untuk menjemput dia di airport jam 11.30 malam di LCCT. Dan sebagai kebiasaan, bila nampak je suamiku dan dia masuk dalam kereta, saya akan cepat2 tgk sama ada dia semakin berisi atau tidak. Haha, keji! Sebab saya tau saya tak berubah apa2 dari segi saiz :) Setiap kali dia balik, mesti semakin gebu. Sangat tak faham sebab tak makan pun masakan aku, tapi tak kurus pun sebab rindu kat saya. Happy kah bila berjauhan?

Anyway, the next morning terus off to Penang. Saje jalan2 sana, beli DVD, makan tak ingat dunia. My mum pun ber dating dgn my step-dad there a night earlier with Ammar & Amin and we all stayed at Equitorial. Oh, malam tu, between the 6 of us, makan 4 ekor ikan; 3 ikan bakar + 1 ikan limau stim, sambal sotong, tomyam, sayur, kerang bakar. Mak aiii (Lin, sorry. kau mesti tengah lap air liur sejuk). Pastu pi shopping DVD dan barang2, erm, curi identiti lain. Saya tak berjaya shopping dvd dengan berjaya sebab dalam kepala tak tau nak cerita apa. I was unprepared, damn it!!

I have to tell you 1 thing, as much as I am happy my hubby balik; terasa sangat pelik sebab dah biasa duk rumah sorang2. So, bila duk sorang, u know where everything is. 'Eh, kenapa ada cawan kat situ? tak letak pun. APA????? takde coaster kat bawah tu?'. I have been married for 3 months + tapi still adjusting. Hehe.

My husband surprised me with his cooking. Saya balik kerja dalam keadaan penat, 'Honey, I'm home'. (dah lama nak cakap macam tu bila balik, cuma tak berkesempatan). Boleh bau makanan yg sangat sedap. Tgk atas meja dah ada sweet sour ikan bawal, daging masak kicap pedas, sayur goreng and telur dadar!!!! Dan dia masih di dapur, tgh buat ice blend mango sendiri, siap hias dengan potongan mangga di atas dan whip cream. Huhuhu, sangat terharu :)
Tak sampai hati pulak nak cerita pasal soalan dia 'Macam mana nak hancurkan ais supaya kasi kecik2'. Aduh, naif dan innocent nya laki aku ni. Aku pun cakap la 'La, masuk je la ais dalam plastik dan hentam kat lantai', dengan nada cuba control bongkak bahawa aku ni sangat pandai. Dia pun pandang aku dengan pure admiration, seolah2 aku telah menyelesaikan masalah yang tersangat complicated. Chumel tak suami saye? (dan saya sgt tak chumel sebab kecoh kat sini) (tapi saya dah kecoh pun sebelum ni di pelbagai lokasi. maaf ye, sayang)

Lagi satu hari, saya balik rumah; dia dah vakuum, mop, lap dapur dan counter, bersihkan microwave dan buat laundry. Huhu...Deserve kah aku? Oh, tapi deserve lah sebab hari2 saya duk rumah sorang2 ye :p

Anyway, saya dan suami saya telah menjadi DVD junkie yang horror. Kami dah sangat addicted dengan Damages. Dah habis season 1 dan nak habis season 2. Dia pesan, ' Boleh ke kawal jangan sambung tgk Damages sampai I balik?'. Mula2 memang nak ingat cheating, tengok je dan tipu cakap tak tengok. Tapi nanti terpaksa berlakon dan tengok sekali lagi, sambil terpaksa mengawal diri dari menceritakan apa yang sememangnya telah tahu apa akan berlaku (sesuatu yang um sangat tak reti untuk lakukan!). Jadi, demi untuk tidak menyusahkan diri sendiri, saya pun sehingga kini masih tidak menonton 3 episod terakhir Damages. Oh, terrernya aku!

Itu lah serba sedikit pasal Syazwan. I know I seldom write about him but in no way it reflects how I feel about him and what we have.

3

2009-12-17T12:26:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow, 18th December 2009 marked our 3 year anniversary as government officers for the 2/2006 batch.

So, the same question needs to be asked and aswered: what have I learnt?

One thing that havent changed : I love my work. I love my country. I take pride in what I do, no matter what department I'm in. Walaupun PSU Gred 41 ni paling rendah dalam hierarki pegawai dan perlu melakukan apa sahaja yang disuruh, saya suka. Bila busy, I feel like I'm contributing something, especilally when it comes to problem solving and giving ideas. Bila takde keje, rasa bersalah dan makan gaji. Maka terasa keji dan manusia yang tidak berguna.

I love learning. And being where I am now, I get to know everything; and I mean EVERYTHING. Kewangan, pembangunan, dasar, pengurusan majlis, orang asli, usahawan. Semua. (And of course even closed door discussions hehe). Maybe setengah orang fikir tak berapa berbaloi pun kalau dibandingkan dengan gred 41 lain. Me : Everyday balik lambat (7-8pm), sebulan dapat la sekali dua balik sebelum matahari terbenam (hehe, Maya pun sama). Weekend pulak, selalu kena kacau. Kalau bos dah No.1 di Kementerian, boleh kah buat keje kualiti 2nd class upper? Oh tidak. I have to be in before him and leave after him. I have to remind him things that he doesnt remember, push all the urgent documents right under his nose so that he cant ignore them, membebel dekat dia selagi dia tak sign kontrak2 yang bertimbun itu, menyelesaikan pertelingkahan antara SUB-SUB berhubung giliran sape yang nak jumpa KSU dulu (hehe, ini kelakar untuk dilihat. boleh ada pertumpahan darah woooo!) dan basicly menjadi back-up data to KSU.

But I love gaining knowledge everyday, even the smallest thing that has absolutely nothing to do with me. I read every paper, every pekeliling and every problem because I like reading and I like to know more about the Ministry, and its realtion with other Ministries. I have gained more confidence through out this year when it comes to expressing my opinions and views (walaupun sebelum ini diriku tak pernah fikir 2-3 kali untuk menyuarakan pendapat hehe). Now I understand more why on certain issues, management hesitate to make a decision, the political side of being a government servants ( politik ofis). I get to see what kind of leaders I want to be and not to be in the future.

The downside? I didnt have the chance to go to PTK. Thats the biggest let down of the year for me. Yes, I know its important for my career and should put that ahead of anything else but I guess I didnt have the heart to leave my responsibilities in such a short notice. And I didnt get the chance to take it with my Geng!. Thats the saddest part :(

I also hope that I havent change as a person. I hope & always try to remain humble, polite, efficient, honest and selamba. Hahaha. Maybe some people think I have changed in some ways, and maybe I have, but if you're in my shoes, seeing the same mistakes, and silly mistakes btw, being made over and over again, and how some officers are completely ignorant and buat keje so cincai, you would be pretty annoyed too when you have to read every single thing that comes into the office to make sure my boss dont waste his time reading something crap.

What's in store for me? Assuming I would stay in this office for another year (probably until he retires), I hope I can be a better help to my boss and my ministry. I love my ministry :)

Happy 3 year anniversary, Batch 2/2006! :)

72dresses*

2009-12-10T09:08:00.002+08:00

Well not dresses really but baju kurungs/kebayas. I was bored the other night, so naturally I begin counting how many baju kurungs do I actually have. Why? I reall DONT know. I DID say that I was bored.

Anyway, I found out that I have 72 pairs. Maybe tak termasuk 2-3 pairs yang tercicir kat rumah Shah Alam but it came to 72 pairs! Macam tak caya because I really do think I dont have anything to wear every morning (Well, I do because usually I have ironed a week's worth of work clothes at one go).

And because I have nothing else to do other than watching DVD's every night (I've just finished Nip/Tuck Season 5 and now halfway through Season 2 of DirtySexyMoney), to utilise ALL of my baju kurungs, since I got married, I make sure I wear every single baju kurung in my closet. Tak kisah la yang dah out dated ke, yang besar ke (sebab makin tua, pakai baju makin fit). Dengan menggunakan baju mess kit aku sebagai penanda, semua baju kurung yang aku dah pakai, aku hang on the right side of my mess kit. Semua yang belah kiri yang belum pakai lagi. So I will not wear anything on the right side of my mess kit until semua baju di belah kiri sudah habis dipakai dan diletakkan di sebelah kanan.

Sungguh berguna kan mess kit kita? :p

So far, I'm keeping up with the system I built for myself, or else I will keep on wearing the prettier and newer ones and just forget the old ones. Because sometimes my mum would look at her 200+ baju kurungs (she's a teacher so please forgive her) and feels guilty for having so many. Same as her persaan for collecting watches and handbags (Believe me, they're not cheap. She has DKNY, Guess, Michael Kors watches and handbags). She spent RM2K for a Michael Kors handbag ok!? Ok, bab tu dia lain dari aku sebab aku prefer makan!

Ooopss, dah terdeviate dari tajuk asal.
Me being so bored out of my mind and I escape my boredom by inventing a 'system' to make me less guilty of my 72 baju kurungs that I have.
But at the same time STILL buying kain and send it to the tailor.

Its OK! I have a system in place :)

blogreaderetiquette

2009-12-04T13:41:00.003+08:00

Although I can talk about all kinds of etiquette; cell phone etiquettes, and for example I can ramble on and on when it comes to driving etiquette but right now what gets on my nerves is blogging etiquette. More specificly for the readers.

These are the rules:

1) Thou shall not confuse thy opinion with the truth.
Opinions are just opinions. Basicly there's no right or wrong. The way you
express it might be wrong but eveyone has opinions and view things differently.
Just accept it!

2) Thou shall not invoke personal attacks.
Why? Especially when your attacks has nothing to do with the subject
discussed. For example: You're annoyed with the blogger. So you call him gay,
or monkey face, or you have something against PTD, when clearly its about
something else completely. Maybe because your in love with his fiancee or you
just feel like you want to call someone monkey face but please focus on the
issue, people. I wrote a poston my dad and suddenly someone commented on
my lack of knowledge on ilmu akhirat which to him/her/it is directly connected
to me as a PTD. Haha.

3) Thou shall not leave comments when its best to just keep in thy hearts
I mean, you can leave messages but what annoys me are those with
negative/insulting made anonymously. Why waste time reading something you
dont like? Did someone put a gun to your head that you MUST read this blog
even though you hate everything on it or else? Mean and a coward. What a
combination.

Phewww....its these kind of behaviour that made some of my friends decided to restrict their blogs or author-enabled comments.

I know rude people are everywhere; both real life and on-line.
But at least those in real life, you know who the culprits are and they have more guts, rather than hiding behind a computer screen with an anonymous identity.

asawife

2009-11-20T08:37:00.002+08:00

I've been married for just a little over a month but since he's still working all the way in Kuching, my transition as a wife is definitely a slow one. So far he has flown back twice dan di dalam 2 hari weekend bersama itulah dia melayan semua kehendak saya and vice versa ;) Right now, we are making the best of our living situations. Next week dia balik nak pau dia makan Tony Roma's. Makan ribs. Jom Yantieeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really thought that I would be bored to death living on my own, but I'm actually enjoying it. Of course it would be a lot more fun having someone to talk or complaint to after a stressful day at work but right now I do enjoy my own company. Since I have always been someone who loves staying at home, I find myself satisfied with night after night of eating good food in front of my 40# Sony Bravia tv (haha, perlu sebutkah?) watching nip/tuck marathon. And when I say good food, I meant egg rolls, McD's, Secret Recipe's spicy chicken cornish, Ruffles Sour Cream, Cupcake Chic, karipap Ikea and hot chocolate with dallops of whipped cream (bukan la semua tu dalam satu masa, k?) . Sangat horror, my nafsu. Oh, kerana tiada saluran lain tau. Hahaha

I love doing laundry, I love cleaning the house so I have no problem finding things to do around the house (tapi most of the time diriku berada di depan tv).

Tapi satu benda je yang aku masih fail buat dan perlu menguatkan azam untuk mulakan.

Mengemas stor hadiah kawen. Yang menjadi bahan lawak Yantie.
Huhu.

Bagaimana nak mulakan? Semua hadiah kawen aku sumbat dalam satu bilik pastu tak tau macam mana nak organise atau cari barang.

Tolooooonnnggggg.

11.10.09 : My Dinner Reception

2009-11-03T10:12:00.009+08:00

I know, I know. Sudah basi entry ini tapi ku gagahkan juga sebab bukan semua orang dapat ku jemput kan?

So, I chose to have it done at Intekma because of its convinience, saiz yang sesuai untuk small ceremony dan packagenya yang agak berpatutan. Dan saya amat puas hati dengan kerjasama diorang bagi; the pelamin was gorgeous, beyond what I expected and asked for (Abg. Ray sgt hebat), Intekma for surprising us with a great kompang performance (it was groovy, I tell you. siap nyanyi and menari lagu orang puteh sambil berkompang.chumel!) dan food presentation yang agak diva dgn performance budak bersilat dan breakdance in full melayu-sampin attire.

The dramas:

1) I heard ada flower stand yang disambar api lilin. Diselamatkan dengan menjirus air sirap limau. Hehe. Good work!

2) Video mula2 tak keluar. Cheche!!!!!

3) Minta maaf kepada semua jemputan di dalam kerana terpaksa tunggu dalam kegelapan sementara persembahan kompang cool di luar itu berlangsung yang agak panjang

4) Kekejian terbesar adalah nyanyian Syazwan di atas pentas selepas cake cutting! Walaupun ku telah meronta2 cakap dgn dia, 'Awak tolong lah jangan malukan saya', tetapi tidak diendahkannya. Maka ku berdiri di atas pentas itu dengan penuh kekerasan, senyuman plastik sambil menyumpah Geng! yang mengejek dan gelakkan aku!!!!Cis!!! Chief Geng! diperlakukan sebegitu. Hahaha.

Sekiranya anda mengenali saya, I'm a freak when it comes to pengurusan majlis jadi pengantin inilah yang memberi taklimat aturcara pentadbiran pada jam 3.30 petang kepada pengantin lelaki, pengapit, emcees, band dan staff Intekma. Hehe.

So many people to thank; Acap Zain for the amazing video you made, Zul for cucuk the direction to Intekma (alhough I think it didnt help much kerana dah kul 7.45pm pun saya masih menjawab panggilan KP kerana sesat!), Kak Nida for kesabaran anda dikacau oleh saya bagi memastikan setiap detail in order (perkara sekecik2 alam pun saya akan remind dia!), band Soul Journey yang sangat hebat ( bila opening lagu John Mayer tu saya amat la seronok), my sister for helping me so much with the paperbags, hantarans, goodies and....

For bringing Azmi @ the lifesaver. Oleh kerana beliau bekerja di Concorde Hotel dan ala2 bos bankuet di sana, beliau telah hadir untuk memegang jawatan Floor Manager dan saya sangat bersyukur dengan kehadiran beliau. Kalau tidak, ada kemungkinan saya akan sendiri berada di dewan untuk pastikan semua in order sambil diekori oleh mak andam yang tension utk men-chantek-kan saya.

Of course, emcees yang chumel; Yantie & Said. Thanks so much (Yantie, thanks for doing the nikah slaid on a short notice). Natalie & Kak Aty, for playing a big part in this big chapter in my life :) Wedding cake yang chumel dan sedap oleh Faith. Most of all, to my amazing mother and father. Thanks for the simple but perfect event. I couldnt have asked for more :)

Gambar telah saya upload di fb saya. Terima kasih

10.10.2009 : Nikah

2009-10-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

After more than 6 years as a couple and 9 years of knowing each other, me & Syazwan tied the knot on the 10th October 2009 (Saturday) officially at 11.45 am. The small ceremony was held at my father's place, after much drama on his behalf and me just focussing on the thought of getting married, in Shah Alam.

I didnt think that I would get nervous, but I actually did when the time comes. My hand was all sweaty and at one time, I had to reach out and hold my mum's hand. I know it sounds silly but at that moment, I've just realised how big this moment really is. I've been so busy with the preparations and getting all the material things in order, that I never really thought about preparing myself emotionally.

But relief washes over me when Syazwan went though the lafaz akad once, and thats it; I'm already someone's wife, half of one. Sadness did wash over me; the life that I have lived will no longer be the same or selamba but a whole new life is ahead of me where I am not only responsible for myself, but I am a new responsible for him with the responsible of taking care of him.

I kept the pelamin for the nikah in all white and I really coudnt wait to use all my gifts for hantaran (especially those red/pink Guess heels!!)

Thanks for everyone who came; Geng! members of course, Aty as my beloved pengapit (kesian dia. aku punya la pelik kenapa minah ni pakai tudung. rupanya dia ingat kat masjid, tu yang agak ayu hari tu. ooopsss...sorry). Long time friends came; Emma and Shafiz.

Below are some pictures. Still havent gotten the real pics yet. Probably will upload at Buku Muka by the end of the month.

Stay tuned for 2 more editions : 11.10.2009 (My Reception @ Intekma) and 18.10.2009 (His Reception at Damansara).

Thanks for all the wishes :)

Raya 2009

2009-10-01T11:17:00.005+08:00

Celebrated Raya in moderate style as always but with lots of love :)

Had a few friends over.

Ate delicious food. Again. And again.

Wore pretty clothes.

Give out money to hopeful faces.

This will be the last Raya me as a singles.

Next year, I will have a husband plus a whole new addition of family members.

(Bukan baby ye, family Syazwan lah!)

So here's some Raya photos.

Guys in baby blue, girls in pink :)

A rose among the thorns.

The person I'm going to miss most*sob*sob*

Kneel then I give you money. Muahahaha.

The only time dapat membuat adik-adik ku melutut.

Me and my siter, Nina.

Ammar lemak berkrim, Amin berbibir Jay-Z dan Ajin the Simba.

I love my family
:)

switahkon'sbday*

2009-09-11T08:26:00.007+08:00

Sekali lagi kita menyambut hari lahir Yantie @ Ahkon.

Happy 26th Birthday, babe!!!!

Stay gedik : sebab kau paling gedik dalam Geng!

Stay short : sebab sekali lagi, kau paling pendek dalam Geng!

Stay generous : ini penting jangan berubah.

Stay hyperactive : engkau lah definisi 'hyperactive'.

Stay chumel : walaupun bukan lah kau yang paling chumel dalam Geng!

Stay silly : sebab kalau tak, tamau kawan.

Stay.

father-lessfigure*

2009-09-04T12:56:00.004+08:00

First of all:

Waaaaaaaaaa...... Lamanya tak update!!!!!!!!! Sebulan lebih. Cis

Next:

Selamat berpuasa. Saya sangat suka bulan Ramadhan sebab mungkin bulan2 lain kita kurang fikir pasal orang2 yang tidak bernasib baik so kita buat amalan lebih sikit. Membuat saya lebih menghargai apa yang saya ada, dan sekurang-kurangnya merasai secebis keperitan rasa lapar macam orang yang serba kekurangan.

Tahun ini, al-hamdulillah, saya berjaya untuk tidak membazir bila time bab2 buka puasa ni. Long gone the times memborong 1001 makanan di param (actually, dah pergi 3 kali tapi hanya membeli 3 makanan asas sahaja iaitu air, kuih dan main course yang semuanya dihabiskan!). Saya sangat enjoy (tapi sedih jugak) time sahur dan buka puasa di rumah, sebab tahun depan saya akan sudah mempunyai suami :) insya allah.

Ketiga:

Tajuk post saya ini. Berkenaan dgn bapa saya.
Bagi mereka yang rapat dgn saya, mesti diorang tau betapa uniknya abah saya.
After years of just accepting who and how he is, it still amazes me the hateful things that he can do towards our family.
Are you allowed to hate your own dad?
Can you? Even in religion, are you allowed to hate them?

Because I'm done with to be the better person; yang mengalah. I've tried everything; the nice tactic, the pity tactic, the mengamuk tactic, the lets see logic tactic. But when a person is so consumed with bitterness and vengeance, nothing can break that wall.

I want to be a good daughter; I have TRIED God knows how much I've tried.
But how much more can I, and mostly, my mama take?
I'm trying to pave the way for my younger brothers and sister; to try at least be a father figure to the rest of them because to me, the damage is done.

I have finally given up. My love for him has faded a long time ago but I hoped, with age, he would realise that he too, can be wrong and just by admitting it, does not make his world unbearable.

What unbearable is losing the respect of your children; when you have pushed your first daughter too far that she doesnt even care if you will be the wali at your nikah.

I am cutting loose from him.
Because it just doesnt seem logical anymore. He has no excuse for everything that he has done.
And I will not forgive what he did to my mama, his wife for 20 years.

I know it doesnt seem right to condemn my dad, especially during this holy month but he did all the un-holy things. In my heart I've always hoped he would realise that what he's doing not only hurt my mama, but also his children, even though my head keep telling me to give up.

As much as I deteste him, he's in my life for a reason.
And my reasoning is that he is the person I do not ever want to be.
Not even close.
Ever.

So for that, thank you.

engaged

2009-08-01T10:39:00.000+08:00

No, I'm not talking about engaged in a meeting or any other meaning. I'm actually engaged! (Btw, sorry for the long silence. Saya sentiasa busy la. Huhu).

Anyway, I'm a really simple person and having an engagement ceremony itself is a surprise, even for me. It was a family thing, 15 of Syazwan's family came, mine around 12 ish. And my house is really small so thats all that we could handle.

Lets just say that I am vain and let the pics speak for itself (but not just the pics, me want to speak also).

Sebelum majlis bermula, Amin & Ammar menjalankan tugas penting. Testing carpet baru sama ada ianya selesa untuk bakal tetamu.

Me getting made up by Faei. 'Natural, Faei, natural!' aku sentiasa ingatkan dia.

Faei saved the day! I had no idea what to do with my hair, even on the actual day itself. All I know, aku nak cucuk bunga kat dalam rambut. Masalahnya the day before, I went to get my hair trimmed, tapi terpotong pendek la pulak. Nak buat bun pun susah. So kelam kabut la si Faei ni nak buat rambut aku. Hehe, tapi result dia ok la. Comey apa.....Haha, puji sendiri :p Tapi jambul tu tak betul sangat.

Me with me stepdad & mama

My flower bouquet. Buat the malam before. Tu pun guna bunga lebih2 because didnt think wanted one. So the last minute one.

Me and Syazwan.

Cupcakes yang telah dibelanja dan di order oleh my sister. Sangat lawa, huhu.

Me so very the sopan with the trays from Syazwan's family.

Me and my stepdad. Dia syik lari je because dia seorang yang sgt pendiam dan pemalu.

Selepas selesai di rumah mama, say berlari ke rumah bapa saya pulak. Family Syazwan pun makan la sekali lagi di sana. Syazwan kena la belajar menerima dua pasang mak dan bapa mertua. Manyak pining lor.

Gambar2 terakhir with my bro & sis. Ammar dah terbongkang demam. Kesian dia.

Muka kepenatan, jambul pun dah takde.

1 Ogos 2009

Thats all :)

theoldagequestion*

2009-06-30T17:14:00.004+08:00

I accidently watched The Duke last week (I say accidently because I have no intention of watching it on purpose) and the discussion topic was "Can money buy love?"

Erm, hello?

I have always think these kind of questions are lame.

So what if money can buy people's affection? Isnt it a good thing to have more money than none at all? Why do people like to balance something positive with something negative?

Kalau orang tu betul2 sayang someone just because of duit semata2, then takpe lah. Macam2 org buat untuk capai ambition, sacrifices that they make in order to live in a certain way of life.

Paling senang; Hugh Hefner. Kalau setakat laki tua macam tu, kalau bukan billionaire, takdenya dapat girlfriend keliling pinggang macam tu. Obviously la the girls tak pun sayang dia betul2 pun, but its a win-win situation; perempuan dapat duit, laki dapat perempuan tu. Simple.

So that what happens to ordinary people too. I've been wooed by guys who has money but at the end of the day, does he really makes me laugh or a real gentleman or able to make me a better person or able to make my legs turns to jelly? Those things money cant buy. And I've always been a 50-50 kinda girl and I had to force myself to let the guy pay for meals or gifts because I had to work hard for my money and I'm sure the same goes to him.

Its fine for girls who can be bought with money because at least they have fun spending it. The risk is what happens when all the money's gone? All you have left is the guy that you probably dont love. But he must have been a nice guy (if not an intelligent guy), considering he splurged all his money to get you.

Money or no money?

What kind of question is that?

Ppfftt...

blogbirthday*

2009-06-15T13:06:00.004+08:00

Today 'Didi's Doodlings' is 3 years old!

This is my 131th post!
(Mengiranya memerlukan kesabaran)

My first introductory post was way back on 15th June 2006 titled 'Analogue Chick In A Digital World'. Masa tu tgh sangat bosan di SIRIM, sementara tgh tunggu eksperimen-eksperimen siap ( sampel masuk dalam ais 1 jam, keluarkan, panaskan 2 jam, run DNA on gel 1 jam so banyak keje menunggu ), jadi lahirlah blog saya ketika itu.

Kelakar sangat bila baca post2 lama. My views, my opinions, my emotional rants.
Mostly I write for myself, because I like to write. I have written so many diaries and journals through out my teenage years; all my frustrations and joys; its fun to read and at times, embarassing. Especially entries on relationships because when I read my writings when I was 14 years old through the eyes and experience of a 27 year old, you see a whole different perspective. Tapi xpelah sebab masa tu pun bercinta dgn orang umur 14 jugak kan, bukan 27 ;p

Nowdays I dont update as much as I wanted to and envy those who has the time to update it constantly (yes, I'm talking to you Yantie!). And I dont blog hop as much as before and its a shame because I love reading; especially opinions and views on certain issues.

So, here's to many more years of 'Didi's Doodlings'.

:)

happybirthdayaty

2009-06-02T13:14:00.004+08:00

Today is the birthday of one special friend. Although I havent seen her for a damn long time, she knows that I love her kan?

Happy Birthday, Aty babe!!!!!

I first met her in 2003, where I decided to move out from UPM and be a big girl. Which basicly means that I get to rent outside after I proved to my mum I am a responsible adult and therefor should be able to do adult stuff like paying bills and grocery shopping (lets just leave the no-curfew thing behind). Anyway, I decided to move in with Natalie and Fat, since I knew them since matrics.

Then, comes in the 'unknown' member of the house; Noorzuriaty @ Aty. Pemerhatian aku : Muka garang. Suka pakai pedal pusher. Rambut karat2. Takut jugak mula2. Boyfriend dia time tu pun ala2 garang jugak. Rambut panjang, shave tepi. Suka pakai singlet. (Gile keji aku kutuk ni).

Kalau koramg tengok la rumah yg kitorang duduk dulu, mesti korang tak caye. Gile Ghetto area tu. Macam ala2 cerita Gangsta's Paradise je tau. Dengan toilet klasik dia. Almari baju kitorang semua kat dapur. Hahaha...

Tapi rupanya, dia sangat la sekepala dengan aku iaitu sarkastik dan suka kenakan org. Setahun aku share bilik dgn dia & sangat2 glad I got the chance to meet her and get to know her. Dalam rumah tu, dia & nat la paling suka masak.

Kalau org ingat aku ni tegas, Aty ni lagi tegas. She knows what she wants. Gedik cara dewasa (maksudnya ada class sikit la kalau gedik pun). Honest, straight to the point. Gile2 sikit. Sgt into fashion. Out going. Suka jadi batu api. Kaki gosip atau lebih tepat, kaki ngumpat.

Pape hal, I have missed you so much. Sunday ni, hopefully jadi kita celebrate ok?

Seeeeee yooouuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!

reminisce

2009-05-27T16:59:00.004+08:00

The other day, I was reminiscing about my dating journey. Damn, it was a loooooooooooooonnnnnnggggggg journey, I'm telling you. Some made me smile, most made me laugh, a bit embarass me and a few heartbreaking moments.

But its worth it. Not to say that it all made me into a good person but very much in touch with whats real out there. If your life is a bed of roses, u will never learn anything about yourself. I have always been the back-to-back boyfriend kinda girl. Thats why I dont have much girl friends; even my friends mostly consists of my ex-boyfriends. People can assume whatever they want about me, just because I had a lot of relationships, but I have learnt so much from each relationship that there's nothing I would change about it, even those bad relationships.

My mum always told me that no matter what I decide, dont ever played with people's heart, lead them on or give empty promises. And I really believe that what I did the best that I could. I've always been honest with how I feel, even if it hurt them. I hate leading people on because I would hate it if people do that for me. Even if I went in for a fun relationship, I would make sure that the other person knows it and is not hopeful for something more.

Maybe the way I live my life hasnt always been conventional but I guess I'm a spontaneous person and way too often I follow my heart instead of my head (and we all know how much trouble that can lead us!).

I've made bad mistakes. Bad decisions. Bad judgements.
But I'm at peace with those.
And I hope those people are at peace too.

myrockmyhero*

2009-05-10T07:58:00.001+08:00

That’s what my mum is to me. I know its kinda corny to write all these mushy stuff about your mother because its Mother’s Day but this lousy post is just a tribute for my amazing mother. I do tell her I love her when I get the chance. There’s no one else in this world that I love more than her.

Every weekend I never fail to try to go back to Shah Alam because I genuinely miss her. Even the mundane stuff like going to the supermarket, pasar tani or pick up her endless dry cleaning; I enjoy those moments with her. She’s a cool mom; seriously. I’ve always been able to talk about my boyfriend(s) with her, even when I was in high school. She helped me sneaked out because my dad is anti-social and wanted me to follow his footsteps. She would defended me when my dad had his critism-attack on me. She gave me allowance behind my dad’s back. She always let me be; and all my brothers & sister; be and do what we wanted to do. She’s the good cop versus the extremely bad & mean cop (my dad).

Now she complains about getting tired easily and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about her getting old. Its inevitable, I know, but because she’s so energetic and bouncy that when I see her tired, it saddens me. I cant ever imagine not having her by my side because she has been my best friend all my life (well, most of the time; mother-daughter drama aside).

The reason I try to be a better person is because of her. Sometimes I do fail terribly; especially when it comes to the matter of the heart. When I do bad things, I always think how my mother would be dissapointed if she knew what I did. To know that she tried her hardest to raise me up right and yet I didnt turned out to be a good person. I try to make things right in my life for her sake, if not for mine.

She has taught me a lot; especially independancy, individuality, confidence. And I got my priceless smart-ass mouth from her too (thanks, its my best asset). Quotes from my mum that I will never forget:

“ 10% gaji gunalah untuk shopping. Kalau dah keje bagai nak rak, takkan spend 10% utk diri sendiri pun kedekut. Belilah handbeg ke, kasut ke. Baru ada motivation keje. Treat yourself every month!”

“ Yang penting bakal suami awak sayang awak. Mama tak kisah dia keje apa, gaji berapa; asalkan dia boleh jaga awak dgn baik. Ingat, hensem tu bonus je!”

“ Ingat tua-tua tak boleh pakai warna terang-terang ke? (yang ni dgn nada yang agak defensif)”

“ Mama takkan suruh awak amik degree apa, kahwin dgn sape sebab ini bukan hidup mama, ini hidup awak”

“ Mama tak pernah rate sucess anak mama dengan akademik. Anak yang terbaik adalah anak yang sanggup jaga mama bila mama dah sakit & tua nanti” ( buat I nangis je cakap mcm ni)

That is why she’s my rock, my best friend, my hero.

langkawi

2009-04-30T23:11:00.002+08:00

Just got back from Langkawi. My ministry organized this international policy dialogue on rural transformation and poverty reduction which involves ministers from Afghanistan, Phillipines, Pakistan, India and many others at the Berjaya Hotel. I was the emcee with the wonderful Lokman and it was a great learning experience.

I'm confident with my English but as an emcee, I'm not really there yet because my confidence is just a facade once the mike is on. But its something that I enjoy. Haha.. Sgt kelakar dengan nama yang kitorang kena sebut; Gamalalage Maithripheela Yana Sirisena! (Something along that line, anyway). I think it went great, walaupun ada byk decision buat at the very last minute, but I guess that's event for you. If its not set on stone, dont count on it. Kalau dah set on stone pun, still boleh pecahkan.

Sgt kagum dgn kawan2 yang kena jadi LO setia kepada menteri2 ni. Ye la. Kena layandari pagi sampai malam. Dengan kesabaran korang, sgt helpful dan polite, I'm sure our hospitality plays a great part in promoting Malaysia. Pian sangat horror buat lawak kat sana. Sgt tak larat ok. Pian + Lokman = Gelimat!

You know, the more I know about my boss, the more that I respect him. His kindness, his humbleness, his ethics and values mostly. Of course, people's leadership are quite hard to quantify because as a leader, you cant really please everyone but as a man, I really do look up on him.

Am looking forward for a peaceful holiday.

Why do I feel out of place? In Langkawi, even in a crowded place, I find myself feeling like I dont fit in.

safetyfirsthumanitysecond*

2009-04-24T17:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really do wish that when someone say what they wish for is world peace, it doesnt sound corny or out of this world.

Because it is impossible.

When there's greed, jealousy, temptations; there's no way we'll get a taste of what true peace means. Why would they want peace when people get rich by supplying guns and bombs, virusses, anything that can destroys man kind?

Actually aku mula terfikir benda ni bila selalu aku tgk org jalan kaki jauh in the middle of nowhere. kadang2 orang tua, kadang2 budak2. Hati tergerak sangat nak bagi tumpang, kesian tengok. Lagi2 kalau panas terik atau hujan lebat.

Tapi, berani ke nak buat keputusan tolong orang kalau akhirnya kena tipu/ kena ragut atau lain2 yang lebih horror? A randomn act of kindness bukan sahaja akan memberi kesan kepada org yang ditolong, tapi org yang tolong pun akan rasa at least I did something good for someone today.

Banyak kali sangat rasa macam nak tolong. Tapi......

Safety first, humanity second?

hellobeetle*

2009-04-17T14:53:00.004+08:00

Emak saya telah membeli sebuah kereta baru.
Keretanya dahulu adalah Naza Citra.

Bila saya minta kawan saya teka, mak saya beli kereta apa, masing2 memberi jawapan seperti:

Honda Civic.

Totota Vios.

Volvo.

BMW.

Tapi ibu saya tidak membeli kereta seperti di atas.

Dia berjiwa muda.

Jadi dia telah membeli kereta ini.

Volkswagen Beetle. Warna biru.

Cream leather interior.

Comel gile.
Rasa poyo bila memandunya.

Orang sentiasa menoleh dan menjadi perhatian.

Tapi sangat tak praktikal untuk ke Pasar Tani setiap hari Ahad.

Mak saya menyalurkan mid-life crisisnya dengan cara yang menarik.

Saya suka
:)

longdraught*

2009-04-17T14:50:00.000+08:00

Ya ampun. lamanye tak update!!!!! Actually dah lama ada draft tapi tak sempat2 nak finish & post it. Sampai Yantie tu dah bebel2 dah.

Anyway, I had mixed events last, last weekend. Jumaat malam, had a nice time lepak dinner at Soho with Um, Yantie, Mila, Cheche & Min. Bisnes venture Um & Mila menjaja Min agak berjaya malam itu, at least dapat cover loss Yantie akibat tak amik precaution sepatutnya.Protection, Yantie!Haha.

The next day, after Subuh, I had to drive myself, my sister & Ammar balik Raub since my aunty passed away due to complications with diabetes. It has been a long time since I've been back there. Actually the last time was in 2003 when my grandmother passed away. I was the only one balik. My mother didnt go to pay her last respect to her mother-in-law because the divorce was still fresh. So, I guess I only get to meet my father's side of the family on funerals je.

I have to say, my dad's side has a long history of diabetes. Yet they dont seem to be afraid by the looks of their consumption of sweet and fizzy drinks through out the day. Diabetes claim the lives of their loved ones, yet they dont learn. Met up with cousins that sometimes I feel like I want to disown them (not all. just a few. actually just one.)

The next day, maybe some may think I am being disrespectful here, but I went to watch the Sepang GP and later, boogie to Jamiroquai. Since Syawzwan flew all the way from Kuching and F1 really is my passion, I couldnt pass it up. Nina tagged along as well.

The race was unforgettable; not for the right reason! They didnt even finish the damn race. Ye, hujan, hujan la, tapi dah tinggal rintik2 je pun by 7pm. Tinggal 20-ish laps je. Dalam 40 mins boleh habis. Apa class menang pun, Button? Haih..

But JayKay made my night. Danced all night long. He didnt perform my fave ' You give me something' but he did performed a lot of oldies like Little L (my 2nd fave), Cosmic Girl, Travelling without moving, Love foolsophy, Space Cowboy, 7 sunny days... and Canned heat. I was gonna say the even though the padang was so muddy due to the rain, kau gagahkan jua (tapi sebenarnya Syazwan terpaksa dukung saya merentasi padang yang berlecak itu. haha).

Over all, I had a great night. And the best part : I spent nothing :)

Last weekend had a belated bday bash for Max. We ka-ra-o-kaed the night away. If u know me, then u'd know that I deteste karaoke. 1 of the biggest reason I wanted to keluar dari unit training was because it involved too much bbq dinners package that includes singing, to my sheer horror. Oleh kerana ku ni pantas berfikir, macam2 taktik aku berjaya guna untuk elakkan dari menyanyi.

Tapi malam tu I was violated. Aku tau, nanti ada la makhluk2 yang akan post gambar aku karaoke. Nana ada!!!!!!Aku kena nyanyi:

1) Nidji - Hapus Aku : Ok la sebab aku suka lagu ini
2) Incubus - Drive : Duet dengan Max
3) Saloma - Darah Muda : HAAAAAHHAAAAAA!!!! Siot je budak2 ni. Ni la lagu yg aku menang dalam pertandingan nyanyian hari kantin tahun 1991 time aku darjah 3 dulu dalam band aku ' Puteri Ayu'. Aku vokalis :)

Anyway, had a blast. Yantie gile sengal dan lucah,Um rupanya pandai rap, Ayol takde style bila nyanyi, bila tak pasang lagu rock kapak Cheche jadi batu, Mila layan lagu pompuan je, Max penuh versatiliti sebab KRU pun hafal beb (x tau nak bangga ke nak malu), Min pandai mengelakkan dari jadi mangsa (kena belajar nih) & special guest Nana membuatkan aku cuba untuk ingat sama ada dia ni dah kahwin ke belum.

Thanks korang. Cayang semua.

onlinevirgin

2009-03-23T16:02:00.004+08:00

I dont know how people can buy things on-line.

Without touching it.

Without looking at it.

Without trying it.

I know people who does 'it'. Yantie & Lin are big on-line shoppers. And from what I read, K-lyn too.

For me, makanan like nasi campur pun I cannot ask people to buy for me because even though rasa macam nak makan lauk ayam, I cannot simply pesan lauk ayam masak kicap and sayur kangkung. I have to see what the lauk looks like because maybe after I've seen the ayam, takde selera, so I buy fish instead. Kalau nak selamat, just pesan food like nasi ayam, nasi goreng etc. Never nasi campur.

Going back to 'it'. If I buy a bag, I need to test it on my shoulders. Nisbah strap handbeg dgn bahu aku. kalau baju, apatah lagi kena try.I need to know the texture, the feel against my skin & whether its 'didi' or not. And I dont think I can know that just by looking at it on-line.

And dont let me start on trust issues. You go to a shop, u pick it up, prance in front of the mirror, u buy it, its in ur hands. Full stop.

No need to think would it look nice on u, or when would it arrive AFTER u paid for it.

Ntah. Old fashioned kah aku ni?

appriciate

2009-03-22T16:13:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I forget to be thankful. It makes me ashamed how sometimes aku selalu tension dgn hidungku yang banyak white head ni. Geram!!! Lepas tu, t-zone org lain biasanya oily tapi aku punya menggelupas tak ingat dunia. Kadang2, bila tgk kadar menggelupas hidung ni macam nak bersalin hidung je. Especially keje di environment yang berhawa dingin ni, hidung ku seolah-olah berkelumumur. Huhu. Tension. Lagi satu, kuku aku tak lawa. Tak hodoh. tapi tak lawa. Takde ciri2 kuku feminin.

Then, aku keluar semalam nampak lelaki buta yang meminta sedekah. Seorang 'kanak-kanak' autism yang mukanya sgt confused.

Tiba-tiba rasa diri ni sangat tak bersyukur. Setakat hidung menggelupas and kuku tak lawa; ciri2 yang sangat jauh dari cacat. I try to imagine myself being in their shoes and it bring tears to my eyes. Being blind and in the middle of the city, begging for money, shouldnt be any man's way of life. Sometimes I think, these people exists not only to prove that the human spirit in undestructable, but to make people like me to be thankful of what I have and not to always see the bad stuff in your life. To not take for granted what you have because one day it can all go away in a blink of an eye.

Then I watched 'Slumdog Millionaire' and to look the way they live there in India, it is so sick how people who are so filthy rich can just let them live that way. I realise everyone's responsible; regardless of how much you make, but to know that there's so many powerful and extremely rich people out there; people who dont have a better way of spending their money besides drinking thousands of dollars worth of wine when so many people are dying out there, its just so inhumane. Irresponsible.

Its a good thing I'm in my ministry. I get to see how bad, how poor and how awful certain conditions people live in our beloved country. The country who prides itself to have KLCC, KLIA, Sepang Circuit and beautiful resorts. I'm really trying to think on a new way to eliminate poverty because it seems all the efforts my ministry has put in, in all these years are in vain. Yes, amazing goals has been achieved but the biggest hurdle are people's mentality. How do we get around that?

Be thankful. Never take thing for granted. Appriciate. Always find ways to be kind. Give a helping hand. Empathy.

funkywhiteman

2009-03-09T13:14:00.005+08:00

That's what he is.
A funky white man.

Had a blast at his concert @ Stadium Negara.
This is my 4th concert at the venue; Dewa, Muse & Alicia Keys.

Not sure how many concerts I've been to altogether.

I thought the show was perfect. It was very laid-back, it started at 8.30 and straight to business. No hanky-panky, no drama, straight up good music.

He opened with his newest single "Make it mine" followed by my favourite, "The Remedy". Ooohh...I love that song.

Oh, how I sang and danced that nite. I'm not sure how many songs he performed but it was a balanced mix of old and new songs. Thank god because I had no time studying his newest album.

The crowd was great, Jason was very interactive with us. He made us made silly noises. I was very impressed with this Chinese guy who was standing near me. He memorise all the songs and sang thru out the whole show. I know this may not sound a big deal but since some of Jason's songs are gibberish, white man's rap kinda thing (I can only keep up with "Geek in the pink" and proud of it), so yeah. With Chinese accent and all. Props for you man!

This time, I decided not to bother much about the pics and taking videos, and enjoy the moment. In previous concerts, I was too eager to record everything that I didnt really enjoy the show.

I think the last song was the sexy "Butterfly". Oh yeah, and some Chinese girl ruined the song "Lucky". Dunno why she was chosen to fill in Colbie Caillatt's part. It was better not to perform that song because she totally killed that song. And, didnt get to buy the concert tags. Damn!

As for Jason, all he needed was his guitar and his hat. In my lists of concerts, this show comes second to the Incubus gig back in 2004, I think.

Thank you for a great show. Thank you Zul for the tickets.

Lets hope another J.M performs here soon.

John Mayer.

I'll be on the front row for that show.

distasteful

2009-03-07T14:34:00.003+08:00

You know, I’ve been holding of on what to write about the whole convo thing and if you were in my shoes, you’d know why. Because I’m just amazed at how revengeful, how unprofessional and how unforgiving those who are supposed to be a leader we respect and learn from.

Pushing emotions aside, I thought the whole 2 days were handled extremely poorly. It’s a yearly event, for God’s sake, why does it take 2 hours to just register? And believe me, I’m speaking from experience (and the whole Sidang A too). We handled our senior’s convo in 2008 and we planned and did things smoothly. We cut the names the day before, arranged it alphabetically and numerically, in a labeled envelope and opened all 6 – 8 desks for registration. We handled the registration even without much supervision from the UDPA. Reharsal pun sekali je. Tolong masa photoshoot. Our markers did what they are supposed to do; lead all the lines. We stayed up late to help until 12 @ night. Everyone was eager (maybe not sincerely) but we did our job RIGHT.

Here’s my observation for OUR convo :

Registration was AWFUL! 2 hours? 2 desks? Budak DPA kat atas lantai koyakkan nombor giliran. Why?
Sampai susunan batch junior kena panggil satu-satu macam budak sekolah. I was EMBARRESSED. Wasn’t there any planning AT ALL? And of course, settle kan batch junior dulu when we waited more than a year to convo. Thanks UDPA.
Bilangan kerusi tak cukup. Erm, you KNOW berapa org yang nak convo. You do the maths. And of course since the other batch diorang dah panggil sorang2 dan settle dulu, our batch la yg kena cari kerusi. Bukan tak cukup tu sikit, adalah berpuluh jugak.
The way they treat us. Seriously. We are no longer peserta kursus. I was willing to put bygones be bygones. But they still treat us like a piece of gum under their shoes. I don’t understand where their superiority comes from. My KSU cakap dengan PAR jauh lebih baik dari the way they treat us that day. Where’s the respect for each other? I’ve always thought that they are like that time DPA je. I guess they are like that full stop. Words like kerbau and scolding us like children? We have a long way to go to civilization it seems. I’m embarrassed to look at them and embarrassed for them.
Keluar masuk hall. Again, no planning. Maybe it was a 1 man’s show; but whats the whole point. Penat cakap je. Again. Yearly event man, why act like everyhthing is new?
Makanan. The rehearsal started at 8.30 and ended at 6.30. No food or even drinks at all. Shame on you. Kesian tgk pregnant mothers, sampai ada yang menggigil, minum air kat toilet. So uncivilized.
The convo day itself. I never actually thought that they can stoop that low but I congratulate them; they actually succeed. The whole batch carries the burden of mistakes done by minority. Why not turn your back to those who actually give their heart and soul and determination to finish DPA with flying colours just because you cant let go of the ‘sins’ that others make? Oooops…you just did. When does the punishing ends? If you think we are so troublesome and so problematic, don’t we need more advise, more attention and more motivation rather than turning your back on us?

And believe me, I’m being nice here when I described the 2-day ‘event’.

The high point is to finally receiving my Diploma and to meet up with the rest of the batch. Especially those in states. It was good to see them. The low points are just too many.

If they think they can bring us down; make us think that we are inferior, undeserving and less than what we are; they better have a better plan.

Because we are here to stay, my friend.

Batch 2/2207. Congratulations. Stay strong and prove them wrong

jommaintag

2009-02-27T08:38:00.003+08:00

Saya telah di tag oleh Iskandar The Giant

1. Apakah benda yang paling penting dalam hidup kamu?
Di sini saya anggap ‘benda’ sebagai sesuatu yang bukan hidup jadi ianya adalah
saya. Tanpanya, tak boleh pegi mana2!

2. Apakah benda terakhir yang kamu beli dengan wang sendiri?
Kalau benda remeh; eyeliner warna kelabu di Sasa. Kalau benda mahal; Clinique facial wash. Utk 400ml RM125. Besar bagak.

3. Di manakah tempat impian perkahwinan kamu?
Takde tempat impian. Asalkan sah dan berkahwin dengan lelaki idaman, tu yang penting.

4. Berapa lama anda rasa hubungan kamu berkekalan?
Apakah jenis soalan ini? Ada pulak suruh predict!

5. Adakah anda dilamun cinta?
Telah, sudah dan akan.

6. Di manakah restoran terakhir kamu makan malam?
Kat foodcourt dgn Um, Min & Yantie.

7. Namakan buku terakhir yang kamu beli?
Jodi Picoult books. Tak ingat tajuk. Beli 3 time MPH warehouse sale.

8. Apakah nama penuh kamu?
Dah tanya macam2 baru nak tanya nama? Nurdiyana binti Baharum

9. Kamu lebih senang dengan mak atau ayah?
Semestinya mak saya yang sangat rock dan supporting tu!

10. Namakan seseorang yang kamu ingin jumpa untuk pertama kalinya dalam hidup anda?
Chuck Bass (I know it’s a bit superficial but sometimes I am, so leave me alone!)

11. Sebutkan lapan nama sahabat yang paling rapat dengan kamu?
Tak boleh sebut. (Konon banyak sgt kawan, walhal tak tau nak letak sape)

12. Adakah kamu mencuci pakaian anda sendiri?
Washing machine.

13. Tempat yang paling seronok kamu mahu pegi?
Saya sangat teringin untuk pergi ke Jepun.

14. Pelukan atau ciuman?
Lebih pun boleh :)

15. Butirkan lima perkara tentang orang yang tag kamu.
a)Sangat besar dan tinggi
b)Kadang-kadang agak menjengkelkan
c)Dia agak kerek
d) Budak sidang B (ni dah takde idea nih)
e) Sentiasa berambut hampir botak. (Fuh, nasib baik ada idea!)

16. Lapan perkara yang amat saya gilai.
a) MAKAN!!!!!!
b) Masak..
c) Lingerie..
d) Buat senarai
e) babies. Tak kisah la baby sape. Sape jadi anak aku, siap la
f) Writing.
g) Manjakan adik bongsu saya, Ammar Syahmi @ bayi gergasi!
h) Kutuk cerita/filem Melayu (Kenapa kualiti cerita & lakonan sgt horror?)

17. Lapan perkataan/ayat yang sering di ucapkan.
a) Tn. Hj., kan saya dah cakap…… (ni dulu)
b) My ass…
c) Um, Um…..
d) Su, kalau kau nak tgk tv, kau cakap je la ek?
e) Apa ni, bai….
f) Ya ampun!
g)Ye la tu!
h)Abg Ramli, nasi lemak satu.

18. Lapan buah buku yang paling terbaru dibaca.
Takleh nak fikir. Takde buku log.

19. Lapan lagu yang saya boleh dengar berulang kali.

a) Adele – Chasing Pavements
b) Incubus - Megalomaniac
c) Ocean Color Scene – Up on the downside
d) Sheila on 7 – Itu aku
e) Sugababes - Stronger
f) John Mayer – I’m gonna find another you
g) Joss Stone – I’ve fallen in love with you
h) Peterpan – Mimpi yang sempurna

20. Lapan perkara yang saya pelajari tahun lalu.

a) Politik di Malaysia masih tidak matang
b) Saya ni agak tua dah rupanya
c) Ya ampun! Saving aku sikitnya!
d) There are NOT plenty of fish left in the sea
e) The discovery of the beautiful Chuck Bass @ Ed Westwick. Yum yum!
f) To always prepare for changes; never get too comfortable with where you are
g) To make more effort on those who really matters
h) People change; but unfortunately, some people will always be the same.

sociallyincorrect*

2009-02-22T15:34:00.005+08:00

Today I'm going to write about something about moral conscience and you're rights to live your life the way you want it to be.

To me, its really sad the way a lot of young Malays or Muslims live their lives. Really, I am an open minded person and I dont have to prove it by actually doing it. Its true, everyone has the right to live their life whether they truly believe the teachings of their religion or not. Who am I to say who shouldnt do what but these opinions comes from my observations and how sad I am to see people; especially those I care about living their life the way they see on the tv. Maybe its a satisfaction for them but I guess I still believe ciri-ciri ke-Melayuan perlu kekal.

Demure is not yesterday's news. Shy is not passive. Modest is not out of fashion.

I'm talking about extreme cases; Malays posting pics of themselves drinking alcohol or in uncomprimising positions, are you really proud of yourself doing those kind of stuff? Its one thing to actually do it; but to actually flaunt it?

Its about having a conscience. People who do it would say you're a hypocrite if you do it but pretend you dont do it. I'm not saying you have to lie but to show the world all the wrong things you do for what? To show that you can drink? To show that you can strip half-naked with your girlfriend/boyfriend? Its just so sad. How would their parents feel if they see it? To have thought they raised you to be a good person but you exploiting yourself out there so selflessly?

I mean, if you do it and you dont flaunt it, its because you know deep inside that you're doing something wrong. Maybe you just cant help it. But the guilt is still there.

Orang Melayu dah jadi macam ni :

"pakai tudung tak semestinya baik. pakai seksi tak semestinya jahat"

memang betul. dont judge a book by its cover. tapi kenapa nak buat comparisons macam tu? Bukankah sebelum kita tau yg dalam kita buat judgement dari yang luar?

Its like you dont even believe in your religion anymore.

But if you do something wrong and bad, you flaunt it, and actually defends it; I guess along the way you've really lost your way.

I am far from perfect. Dari dulu azam kuat nak pakai tudung betul-betul. Ni masih senget-senget lagi. I pun banyak juga buat mistakes; kalau tgk balik pun nyesal. Its all in the past. Now lets concentrate on the future.

herewegoagain*

2009-02-13T14:08:00.007+08:00

I have never been one of those people who gets affected by the Valentine bug. I mean, why the hell do you really need a day to remind you to appriciate those who you love? Like you'd actually forget? Ermmm...actually there might be those who does. But I guess the over-commercialised part of Valentine have made it into this cheap, tacky thing.

Sudenly the world is bombarded with ridiculously priced roses, fluffy teddy bears, boxes of import chocolates and last years unsold valentine cards graces the counter yet again. Suddenly Memory Lane and Hallmark shops is THE hip place to hang out as Valentine's Day closing in. You see people reading intently to the soppy phrases in the cards to search the one that perfectly capture their feelings towards their other half.

Do I sound bitter?

Damn, I'm old(er) & bitter.
What a combination.
Who could ever resist me?

:p

Introducing.....

2009-02-05T10:32:00.002+08:00

...... my new handphone.....

Nokia 5800 Express Music

I call her "Noki"

Like I call my Kelisa "Kelly"

Hehe...

Anyway, oleh kerana phone kesayangan saya itu sudah rosak, terpaksalah saya menghabiskan duit untuk membeli phone baru. Alang2 nak beli baru, belilah fon yang akan tahan lama dan banyak fungsi-fungsi menarik.

Sound musik bagus, 3.2 megapixel camera, touch screen, WiFi, 8G memory card, stilus dan rakan-rakanku.......

ada GPS!!

Tapi tgh tak tau lagi macam mana nak guna. Tipikal Didi. Tapi Yantie, tugas kau sebagai navigator ku masih kekal. Tak kisah la kau panggil aku keji ke ape!

Phone book tak dapat retrieve jadi buat masa sekarang, ada 56 contacts sahaja. Tu pun mostly number orang ofis je.

So, thats my new baby. Semogo riwayatnya lebih panjang dari handphoneku yang sebelum ni.

Amin.

adisasteramongpre-celebrations*

2009-01-31T08:34:00.001+08:00

Before I get to thae disaster part, lets continue with my pre-birthday gifts.

Natalie and Kak Aty surprised me with a birthday cake when we visit Yati to see her new angel; Shaza Nuzhan. Haih, taknak la steal the thunder away from the baby. It was so good to catch up with the girls. I've missed them so much... Yatie looks great. She hardly put on any weight but she looks healthier. Maybe because she's been thin all her life...Shaza ikut muka Sham.. And I got gelang and necklace from Nat. Yeay...

Then Zul belanja kat Tony Roma's @ Pavillion. First time makan kat situ and the food is okay, considering its quite expensive. And got Jason Mraz concert tickets for my birthday!!! Lalala....

I was in Perak on my birthday and I had Wan and Nurul singing Happy Birthday kat anjung bawah rumah orang kampung @ 12 am. Malam tu tido rumah keluarga angkat.

Celebrated with birthday dinner at Red Card, Bangi with he geng. Complete with birthday cake and birthday song from all the workers and other diners there. Hehe.

So, the disaster.

My fon rosak!!! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nangis okay!

I love my phone so much.. Flip-phone Nokia L'amour Collection warna pink.

Tau la dah 3 tahun pakai tapi masalahnya semua contact numbers, msg2 kesayangan, gambar2 poyo ada kat dalam tu. Kena repair dulu la baru boleh retrieve data kan?

Tapi taknak trade in sebab sayang so ingat nak repair & beli baru.

Huhu, nak beli fon ape?

I hate buying gadgets because then I would buy it because its pretty and not bacause of its function..

Jap lagi nak keluar dgn my mum amd cari handfon baru..

Huhu..

earlypressies*

2009-01-26T12:36:00.002+08:00

Although my birthday is still a few days away, I've received a few great surprises already...

My mother dah tak tahan nak simpan hadiah yg dia dah belikan (sape2 yang tuduh kata aku yg beriya2 nak awal, tarik balik kata2 tu)..

She bought me a white gold, christmas-ball-themed bracelet and a diamond and ruby pendant...
I really adored the bracelet, LOVES IT.... Peluk mama kuat2!!!!I wasnt expecting anything grand this year but she said that she wanted to give me something special because the profit she got from selling the apartment...

Then we had lunch in; Pizza Hut..Chicken wings and all...

Syazwan took me to a nice dinner and movie.

My sister brought me a beatiful zip-up hooded sweater from Forever 21... Huhu...Like it so much..

I'm enjoying my last moments of being 26 yearl old...

Huhu

weightyissues*

2009-01-22T12:43:00.002+08:00

I have gained 3 kg in the past month. Since I moved in to my new post. Sebab apa? Meeting, makan, meeting, makan, baca minit, call orang, makan, buat speech, makan, buat speech, kejar orang bagi maklumbalas, makan, buat surat, makan.

Hehe.

I like :)

Only the gaining weight part.

misteriyangtidakdapatdiselesaikan

2009-01-09T14:36:00.003+08:00

There are some things that I always ponder but never seem to get any answer. So I'm wondering out loud:

1) Why do some people think their time is much more precious than others?
Scenario : Everyday, you will see people cut ques on the road. Sangat tak faham. When I go to work every morning kat Equine tu, cue panjang sebab ada traffic light and mesti ada kereta (bukan sikit, tapi banyak) yang cut que betul2 kat depan traffic light tu. Walau mcm mana pun kereta yg beratur tu nak mempertahankan que dia, terpaksa jugak dia bagi masuk. Kalau org lain boleh keluar awal sikit supaya tak lambat, kenapa diorang tak boleh?

2) Kenapa setiap kali I beli subang, mesti satu subang hilang?
Scenario : I nak ada collection earings yg banyak tapi beli satu, hilang satu. Tak boleh dikawal. So aku banyak subang yang tinggal sebelah je. Huhu..

3) When I do something out of the ordinary, mesti kena.
Scenario 1 : Tak pernah datang lambat, tapi time sekali datang lambat, mesti bos cari.
Balik awal sekali je sebelum bos balik, dia call cari paper. Kalau I stayback, jarang dia tanya.
Scenario 2 : Tak pernah parking kat tempat yang tidak sepatutnya, tapi sekali buat, kena saman. My mum parking la kat mana2 pun, tak pernah kena. My mum gangster jalan tau.

4) Setiap kali timbul niat nak basuh kereta, hari mesti nak hujan.
Scenario : Saya sgt malas hantar kereta basuh (itu belum basuh sendiri tu). Tapi kalau dalam 2 - 3 bulan sekali tu, semangat nak hantar, mesti dengan tiba2, hari nak hujan. So, bertukar warna la Kelisa oren ku itu.

I'm aware these problems are'nt really problems but annoying never the less.

Hhhmmmmm*sambil membuat muka berfikir*

2007thereview

2009-01-04T17:29:00.004+08:00

I have a few resolutions that I made but those are personal.

To me, you grow and learn by what you achieve the year before. So this is my summary of the year 2007.

Career.
*********

A lot have changed. I've mentioned in earlier posts so I'm not going to dwell on this. Be positive. I know I can do a good job if I put my mind to it.

Achievement rating : 6/10

Financial.
************

Hhhhmm....Not good. A lot to be improved. I spend most of my money on food, food and lingerie.. I'm not impressed with what I see when I look at my saving's account. Nak dekat hujung tahun, baru la terfikir mana la pegi gaji aku satu tahun. Ceh! Next year, masuk duit dengan konsisten! Dari awal tahun. Dan membayar PTPTN double this year..

Food is my passion, so sorry. Cannot sacrifice good food.
Lingerie.....erm, mungkin boleh kurangkan sikit.
Sikit je la. Hehe.

Achievement rating : 4/10

Family and friends.
**********************

I am blessed with a great family; especially my mother. My family is the closest thing to me.
I wish I could make more time with my dearest friends; friends that go way back... Yatie, Natalie, Aty, Shafiz, Fauzi... I will make more effort with you all this year, I promise.
To my considerable-not-so-new-friends from DPA especially hose known as 'The Geng', thank you for being there and I really appreciate our friendship. Stay crazy and dont ever change.

Achievement rating : 7/10

Relationship.
****************

This is the department I dread the most. Lets just say that I thought I had my life all figured out but I guess you'll never know what life throws at you or what to expect. You can plan, plan, and dream but at the end, you cant control everything.
I've done things that I never thought I would do. And I dissapointed myself.
I want to be in love and most of all, someone who can take care of me.

I dont think my heart can take anymore dissapointments.

Achievement rating : 1/10

Personal Growth.
********************

This year, I've been more focused on my career than I have in all my years in Sirim put together. Since I'm in the government, I love my country that much more and I really want to see changes.

I feel I've been withdrawing myself from people. In some ways. I keep things to myself now. Maybe I shouldnt.

I need to listen to my head more than my heart.

Achievement rating : 4 / 10

Bring on 2009.

tahunbaruazambaru*

2009-01-01T17:21:00.000+08:00

Selamat Tinggal Masa Lalu
*****************************

Jangan pernah sesali
jangan pernah tangisi
semuanya yang pernah terjadi

Bila langkah terhenti
itu bukan berarti
hidupmu sampai disini

Menangislah ohh tersenyumlah

Mawar pasti berduri
dan juga hidup ini
penuh kejutan yang tak pasti

Anggap ini sebagai
sebuah pelajaran hati
yang bisa kuatkan diri

Menangislah owhhhh tersenyumlah
Jangan kau berhenti
Melangkahlah ohhh berlarilah

Selamat tinggal masa lalu
Selamat datang lembar baru
Selamat tinggal cinta lalu
Selamat datang cinta baru
Selamat tinggal selamat tinggal

Melangkahlah ohhh berlarilah

Selamat tinggal masa lalu
Selamat datang lembar baru
Selamat tinggal cinta lalu
Selamat datang cinta baru
Selamat tinggal masa lalu
Selamat datang lembar baru
Selamat tinggal selamat tinggal

Jangan pernah sesali
jangan pernah tangisi
semuanya yang pernah terjadi

* Selamat Tahun Baru*
*Saya ingin menjadi seorang yang lebih baik dari tahun lepas*
*Mungkin sukar untuk berubah atau melepaskan*
*Tapi semua orang mampu mengubah diri sendiri*

harder

2008-12-20T19:46:00.003+08:00

I am thick skinned yet fragile.

Thats how I described myself; and to those who really knows me.

Just because I seem okay, tough on the outside, selalu nampak macam composed, people think they can treat my feelings carelessly.

Kalau orang tu sensitif and selalu terasa, orang akan jaga kata or jaga hati orang tu supaya tak tersinggung.

Usually it doesnt bother me.

But lately, it starts to bother me because my heart is not made of stone.

A guy once told me that I ni keras sangat.

I agree. But when things like this happens, it made me close up even more.

My heart is harder than before.

2ndYearAnniversary

2008-12-18T18:24:00.003+08:00

So.

18.12.2008.

Today marks the day where I have been in the government service for 2 years.
Many things I've learned.
Overall, I'm confident I made the right choice of leaving my research to go into what I do now.

The journey:

6 months in Unit Latihan
6 months in DPA
10 months in Tatatertib
18 days as Pegawai Khas KSU

The review:

From the moment they posted me in Unit Latihan, I knew it wasnt right for me. I dont like being away from home, talking in front of people, makan kat meja vip (u cant be urself) and forcing people to go and listen to executive talk. Its like organising mini events everytime. And macam2 kerenah manusia aku jumpa. Its just not for me. Afnan memang sesuai, Cheche apatah lagi; sangat suka menggunakan kuasa veto di setiap kursus. Adli; I think he suits HR-MIS better. Ceh, aku ni review diri aku ke org lain? But my boss at that time was very helpful and I learned a lot from her.

DPA course. What can I say? Its all been said and done and reviewed in the past. Pandai2 lah cari. Maybe post bulan January/ Februari kut.

Balik2, mintak tukar unit so duduk tatatertib. I learned a lot there as there was a lot of reading. I enjoy doing tatatertib, prestasi and PTK; well so-so. I liked having a job where I dont have to go out often, where I can just sit at my desk, make a checklist and tick off one by one (I'm a big fan of lists by the way) But this time I had it backwards where I had to do everything on my own; the thinking, the making decisions and the actual work. Its tiring but its a lot tiring than expecting him to change. Taknak cakap lebih-lebih la. U all know kan? I thought I was gonna be in this post for at least a few years since I'm filling Gred 44 punya post, but als, it was not meant to be.

Then now. At KSU's office. Walaupun sering di bahankan oleh rakan2, tapi it's a challenge I have to face. Just face the music la kan. My brain is like a sponge; trying to absorb every departments work. I'm still finding my way because suddenly I need to learn everything that the ministry do. I cant be stuck in my own little unit anymore. I just dont want to dissapoint my KSU thats all*sigh*

The Verdict:

I guess now, where I am, at least my views and opinions can be heard at the highest level. Things that I see needs improving, I just put it in my KSU's talking points utk mesyuarat pengurusan so when he mentions it, I feel like I have done a small deed. Sebab aku la KSU nak jumpa denagn semua pegawai Gred 41 hingga 48 pasal ketelitian dalam membuat kerja. Banyak mistakes maa......Me included jugak kut tapi now have to be extra careful and thorough la...But I need to shift my multi-tasking to a higher gear.

So thats my review. Always prepare for changes and adjust quickly. Dont ever fall into your comfort zone.

Until next year's review.

maturity

2008-12-07T20:22:00.002+08:00

Maturity. People say they come with age.
I dont believe so. I think experience is what makes you mature. What people go through, decisions and sacrifices they have to make and a big chunk of the way you think.

I have felt embarassed by how shallow some people are; the way they think, the things they say and do. And how certain people just havent changed with age.

To me being mature is :

To never take critism too seriously. I believe that critism makes you a better person. When people say it to your face, usually is so that you dont make the same mistake twice. Its better than having people talk behind your back. I have seen friends that when you try to advise them, they close up and merajuk. Why la? If you dont agree with me, than just voice out. Its not about who wins anyway.

You dont have to pretend who you are. So that you are cooler. Accepted. A better version of who you want to be. To me being mature is being comfortable in your own skin. To have that inner confidence that people will love just the way you are; your flaws and the freaky little things that do. You dont have to act crazy just to prove that you are; you dont have to dress sexily to prove that your beautiful; you dont have to fight for the limelight to get attention. Maybe some people are like that but its funny how some are people so adamant to show people how open minded they are by doing all the un-traditional things that they can. I dont have to do all those things to prove that I'm open- minded. Being open-minded is just not being judgemental to those who do things that you dont agree with.

Forgive people. For whatever they have done to you in the past; I truly believe when a person does something bad to you; you actually become a better person. Because I then know what kind of person I DO NOT want to be. But forgiveness does not necessarily mean you can be friends again. Just that you dont have a grudge anymore. And you know that you dont need these kind of people in your life.

Its better to have a few friends that you can trust your life with than surrounding yourself with so many people who are only there for the fun.

1122008

2008-12-04T07:57:00.003+08:00

Ok. So I wanted changes; I got one. And its a damn big change!!!!

Here's the story.

Dengan penuh semangat, hari Isnin I went to work untuk 2 objektif utama:

1) Melangsaikan semua keje2 pending sebab dah 3 minggu tak masuk ofis. Sebab jaga PTK5 & PTK 4. Lepas tu bagi ceramah tatatertib kat kursus induksi and then jadi urus setia utk hari kualiti. Kerjaku yang sangat bertimbun2, sgt banyak yang pending; tak campur lagi keje2 post PTK yg urgent tu.

2) Membalas dendam dgn stress PTK. Berniat nak guna cuti tahunanku sebanyak 24 hari lagi tak guna. Campur cuti boleh claim utk PTK ; jumlah 28 hari. Strateginya ialah untuk bekerja 3 hari, cuti 2 hari; atau cuti setiap isnin dan jumaat; atau macam2 lagi la idea2 indah yang dah terbayang dalam kepala aku ni.

Sampai2 ofis je, baru letak handbag, my SUB told me saya telah ditukarkan daripada Unit Tatatertib, Bhgn PSM untuk menjalankan tugas sebagai Pegawai Khas KSU. Efektif 1 Disember 2008.

Terkebil2 aku tgk SUB aku.

KSU panggil aku pun, mimik muka yang sama aku aplikasikan.

Macam tak logik, tak masuk akal. Why me la?

Believe me, I wasnt jumping for joy.

Its a challenge. But its not a challenge I want to try for maybe another year or so.

Even though I complained a lot about what I do before, but I LOVED my job; buat tatatertib, prestasi. Its just me and my boss je. But it was still bearable because I had my work to drown myself into bila rasa macam malas nak layan.

I've moved my things and so far keje dia mengejut2. Tu yang lemah tu.
I'm a lets-do-a-checklist-and-do-one-by-one kinda person.

So this kinda mode doesnt really apply anymore.

Duk bilik sorang2.

Kalau dulu, kalau bosan, boleh suruh Cheche buat lawak tak berkualiti dia. Kadang2 tak suruh pun dia buat dah.

Tugas aku sebagai deejay di wing psu psm pun dah cannot go.

Dulu pegawai psikologi ada kat depan aku. Senang nak release stress.

Su, kerani kesayanganku tu pun berat sangat nak tinggalkan. She's great at waht she doeas and macam idea pembaharuan kitorang nak buat for next year's APC, PTK and so on.

I still have mixed feelings about this new job.

But I have to be positive right?

postptk*

2008-11-30T13:37:00.004+08:00

Finally I get to have a breather after my PTK stint.

Straight after that, I gave my first ceramah for induksi. Huhu. It was quite a scary thing because I'm quite new at what I do. I was a bit tense and I know I can do so much better. Terlebih serius pulak hari tu. Hehe. So, next time rileks sikit la kut.

After that, I took the day off. Spent the whole day lazing around at home. Watched my Gael Garcia Bernal in "The King", "The Other Boleyn Girl" and "House Bunny".

Natalie Portman was amazing as always. What a great actress and one of the most beautiful woman in my opinion. And I really hate the fact that Anna Faris plumped up her lips. Puaslah aku dengan Um fikir, apa yg lain. Tapi rasa macam House Bunny tu tak kelakar sangat, walaupun Anna tu sangat la sengal macam biasa.

Yesterday I went to The Gardens with my mum. Ate good food, bought some earrings, makan Big Apple. It was a gooooodd day... Dah lama tak relax macam ni.

This morning pegi pasar tani with my mum. Beli lauk untuk rumah sewa. Masak kuey teow satu kuali untuk breakfast. Now watching Friends marathon kat Astro.

It doesnt take much to please me.

Anyway. Pejam celik, esok dah Disember. I'm going to be 27 in 2 months.

I need to draft out my New Years Resolutions already. I didnt make one this year so I'm going to think hard to list out 10 new changes or improvements for myself next year.

missindependent*

2008-11-25T20:30:00.001+08:00

"She got her own thing
Thats why I love her
Miss Independent
Wont you come and spend a little time?"

Mr. Ne-yo sang that in his new song.

I consider myself an independent woman. And I have always been proud of that. Even in relationships; I've never been the take-advantage-of-boyfriend-type-and-ask-them-to-pay-for-everything type of girl. In fact, I always feel guilty everytime my own boyfriend belanja me. Its always 50-50. Because I have my own money and I dont like feeling indebted to anyone.

And maybe because I'm the first child, I have this need and natural urge to take care of someone. Make sure that everything is ok. Plans everything; nak pegi mana, makan apa, buat apa. It comes naturally. People may think I'm a queen control but I'm one of those freaks who has to know or have things planned out first or I get restless.

I'm also not clingy and not a romantic person. I know some guys like this but I know guys who thinks that my heart is made from stone and takde perasaan. Believe me, my friend I am completely different when I'm in love. I just dont like to show it in front of other people. Only to that special person I will be all soft and vulnerable.

I've never been the joined-to-the-hip kinda girlfriend. I like to separate these 4 periods of times ;time with my boyfriend, time with my girlfriends, time with my family and most importantly, time on my own.

And my family will always be the most important people in my life and I love staying in at home. I'm a homebody; my idea of a perfect day is staying at home, cook, sleep and just hang out with my family. Yeah, it sounds boring but thats who I am.

Back to the point; do guys like independent woman? Or do they feel threaten or useless by us? Because I need to be more dependent. More trusting that the guy can take care of things too. I need to learn not to think about everything.

The fact of the matter is; I want a guy who can take care of me because all my life I feel like I have to take care of everything. Pamper me.

I'm independent but still want the guy to be a gentleman to take care of me.

Dont we all?

urussetia*

2008-11-11T15:56:00.003+08:00

Urus setia. Yang setia mengurus.

Selama 2 minggu, i will be taking care of PTK 5 and PTK 4 at the Residence Hotel. For 2 weeks I get to eat free, sleep in a huge room, and bore myself silly with the goings on of the course.

Even though change is good, whereby I'm not stuck with my norm of job (and my boss!!!!) but knowing that after this PTK ends, keje kat ofis tu melambak. Lain la when u get new work, time stop moving until your job is done, baru keje lain masuk. Keje tatatertib byk tak sttle, PTK sokongan 2 tak start lagi, MBJ tak buat lagi. Waaaaaaaaaa.................. Balance cuti ada 24 hari lagi. huhuhu...

I cant say I enjoy it much because I hate to stay at hotels. Tak kisah la hotel yg gempak2 ke, yg biasa ke, there's always a sense or belonging and relief when you get to sleep in your own humble bed. Hugging your own pillow, being surrounded by your own things with familiar smell. I miss my vanilla candles!!!!!!

And kadang2 when you just cook ikan pekasam and telur goreng, lagi sedap daripada a huge spread buffet of food in hotels. Cuma dessert spread je yang takleh tahan. hehe

Huhu...rindu rumah. Rindu katil.. My skin is breaking out and dry from the air conditioning.

Ni baru 4 hari. 11 more days to go.......

How?

2008-10-29T21:40:00.003+08:00

People always say its better to be with someone who loves you more than you love them. Yeah, its true.

But when you have felt what it feels like to be so in love, I guess how can you settle for second best?

How you would think about him the whole day, no matter how busy you are.

How you would always check your phone to see if he sms or call.

How the thought of not being with him makes you want to cry.

How you just want to please him and makes him happy.

How you just love to doodle your name and his name, just to see how perfect they looked.

How just listening to his voice gives you goosebumps.

How his smell is the most wonderful smell in the world.

How proud you are to be with him.

How you adore him so much that sometimes it's like having a crush on a celebrity :)

How being near him feels like your second skin.

How you find everything about him is adorable.

How sometimes you feel like your heart is way too big for your body.

Most of all, how you could love someone so selflessly that everything you say or do would never be enough to tell him how much you love him.

Once you have felt all that, tell me how I'm supposed to walk away?

mila@fahmi*

2008-10-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

*Mila bersama Um kesayangannya*Chumel!*

Happy Birthday Mila!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for everything that you are and everything that you are not.

Walaupun kau sering dilabelkan tiada perasaan, sering dikonfiuskan dengan kerusi walaupun berkaca mata, mempunyai maklumat dalam bidang yang luas, dari saham ke senjata ganas; kau memberikan aku harapan bahawa lelaki normal dan old fashioned masih wujud!

Thank you!

Aku kagum dengan ability kau yang sentiasa kemas, sentiasa tidak gelabah, cool dan kesabaran tahap dewa when it comes to Um.

Kau sangat domesticated, gentleman (erm, kadang - kadang la). Tapi blur pun tahap gaban jugak mamat ni.

Dan aku perasan, dalam semua gambar kau senyum sama jek, kan?

Anyway, hope kau dan y.o.u.r.h.e.a.r.t kau tu happy selalu. Aku suka tgk korang. Jealous pun ada. Huh.

Bak kata Mila,

"We complement each other"

(dengan air muka penuh kasih sayang, sambil memasukkan sideburn Um yang terkeluar-keluar tu)

*kisah benar tau tu*

rayacitystyle

2008-10-11T19:00:00.003+08:00

So.

Celebrated raya in the city so it totally SUCKED! Did the usual raya photos; as I posted earlier. Ate my mums' fabulous rendang, kuah kacang, lodeh masak lemak with nasi impit. Scoff our faces with kuih raya, giving out money. The usual tradition.

Played bowling on second day of raya.

Tried the batting cage at OU on third day of raya. It was my first time and I was really excited. Terkinja - kinja jugak la. Anyway , dapat la pukul sipi2 dalam 6 kali. Lepas tu bola tu terus kena tanganku. Bengkak gila. Gemuk sangat. Mengalir jugak la 2 titis air mata. Huhu...Oleh itu, hodoh sangat ibu jari ku dengan darah beku. Cheche cuba nak takutkan aku, kata kuku aku akan tertanggal nanti. Betul ke? Nak muntah membayangkannya.... Huhu

Raya ke - empat baru balik Johor. Tu pun balik hari. Comel betul atuk aku, kat handfon dia letak wallpaper gambar arwah nenek. He talks about her all the time. I know the reason mama taknak balik kampung sangat pun because selama ni dia balik because of her. Sekarang she's not here, dah tak terasa nak balik kampung sangat. But it just make me sad that he's there at the house that holds all the memories with her alone. Maybe its the consequences he had to pay for treating his children the way he did a long time ago. I'm not justifiying what my mums' doing is right but I was not in her position. She was beaten, mentally abused for years; so this is her way of pay back. At least she still hormat him.

Oh yeah, visited my abah. Fitri, my half brother has grown sooo much and sgt comel. Amira cried almost the whole visit. I still visit my father out of obligation, not because I want to. It still make me sad being in the house that we used to live as a family. The kitchen cabinets and the wardrobes that my mum bought using her own money because he couldnt be bothered with it.

Okay, I have an opinion that some of u may think its lame. But why do people dress casually during open houses in raya?

Open houses are only done during Raya.

Orang buat baju raya untuk Raya.

So why is it people wear jeans and t-shirts during open houses?

Aku bukan nak cari salah orang, dont get me wrong tapi macam tak faham when people make a big fuss buat baju raya and stuff tapi tak pakai time ziarah orang pegi open house time raya. Aku takkan pakai baju biasa time open house. I'm going to pakai my baju raya to death because its for raya. Lelaki mungkin terkecuali sikit tapi still, bukan selalu pun pakai baju melayu. Segak, beb....

mesti kawan aku marah ni sebab hari tu open house rumah Ayol, aku sorang je yang pakai baju raya. Hehe... Hey, everyone is entitled to their opinion kan? Well, that was mine.

This raya, I let go of someone special in my life. Maybe it was time to move on and give some space. Maybe its a good thing. Or a bad thing. But it was something that we both had to do before we end up strangling each other.

So.

Here I am. After years of dating and relationships, break ups and make ups, I am back where I started.

*sigh*

Raya '08

2008-10-06T09:49:00.004+08:00

bakingmode*

2008-09-21T17:20:00.002+08:00

So..I've been busy baking cookies during the weekends. Last weekend and this weekend. So far, 4 types of cookies has been baked. One for each Saturdays and Sundays. 1 of them is dissapointing : Cookie No. 1 : Cornflake cookies. Rupa je cantik. Rasa dia agak blah blah...Macam tawar je. Aku ikut resipe betul2 so xleh la cakap aku tak reti buat. Dapat la 2 balang... Not a good start, my fren.... Tapi takpe...semangat tak luntur.

The next day, I baked Cookies No. 2 : Citrus Almond. Boleh tahan sedap, boleh tahan lawa. Dalam dia ada kulit oren and lemon, dip in putih telur and salut with flaked almond and dust with icing sugar. Need effort but it was worth it. Dapat 1 balang je so maybe I'll bake some more kalau ada masa.

Yesterday, I baked Cookie No.3 : Choc chip cookies... And it was damn yummy!!! Wah, sgt la berbaloi aku buat sebab sgt sedap dan sangat senang nak buat..Dapat 2 balang...Lain kali memang definitely akan buat lagi because 2 S : sedap dan senang!

Today, I just baked Cookie No. 4 : Kuih Makmur. Takde gambar lagi so later la. This is my 3rd year buat kuih makmur because its a family favourite. Inti dia kurma. I think it will tast good because its the same recipe I used before this. Dapat almost 2 balang.

Next weekends plan:

Cookie No. 5 : Cream Custard - from Nigella Lawson's Recipe so it better be damn good. Its basicly cream custard biscuits sandwiched with custard cream.

Cookie No. 6 : Biskut Kelapa - A new recipe I want to try out. Hope it will turn out well. The steps are easy enough.

If there is time, maybe will try and make some muffins too....Or those fancy cupcakes with icing and decorations!!!

I think that is it for my baking resume for this year's Raya.

Puas hati aku..

Didi

*masterchef?*really?*could've*fooled*me!*

*too*cute*

*image*change*

*hello*3rd*trimester*

*socially*handicapped*

*Ramadhan*Review*

*lets*get*wet*

*summary*of*the*1st*trimester*

*nightmares*

*second*try*

*hey*time!!!!*wait*for*me*

*think*good*

*Al*Fatihah*

*what*makes*a*person*

*cooped*up*&*going*cuckoo*

*7*weeks*6*days*

*6*weeks*4*days*

*blank*

*didi*&*her*appetite*

*Datuk*Abd*Jabar*:A*Class*Act*

*didi*&*her*beauty*products*

*28*things*about*me*

*Raya*2010*

*big*bad*world*

*Sawadikap*

*stop*insulting*my*intelligence*

*the*interview*

*when*marriage*imitates*a*sitcom*

*taiping*trip*update*

*small*changes*

*terima*kasih*hafiz*sila*ulang*lagi

*if*the*pants*dont*fit*................*blame*the*pants*

*lets*get*educated*

*didi*the*pre-quel*

*skins*

*just*dont*

*better*genes*?*

*ungrateful*

Auf Wiedersehen, Amin!

*embrace*differences*

*regrets*

*pet*peeves*

*drugs*books*&*lies*

*10*days*

*3*

*72*dresses*

*blog*reader*etiquette*

*as*a*wife*